(Closed) DH & his sis in law.. o_0

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
5104 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve never had this issue with inlaws, but there are two of his friends from school (we don’t see them very often, mostly at group gatherings) that make me feel uncomfortable int he way I feel like they are always judging me, and they have made snide comments about my younger age (which pisses me off to no end) and laughing waaaay too hard at things Darling Husband is saying. Maybe I make them insecure? I don’t know. But it’s annoying.

Have you spoken to your Darling Husband about how you feel/what you’ve seen in their behavior? How long has this been going on?


Post # 5
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Trust your gut…

Post # 6
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe because she is family he is more comfortable around her, and feels like he can be himself. You don’t have to like her either, that isn’t mandatory, but respecting her is what you should do. Talk to your husband if it is bugging you that much, keep the lines of communication open.

Post # 7
1748 posts
Bumble bee

@chesseplease: I agree, trust your gut and never leave your husband alone with her.

Post # 8
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Are they just getting along well, or are they flirting? If it’s the former (and it sounds like it is), please don’t begrudge your husband a friend just because she happens to be female. If it were a brother-in-law instead of a sister-in-law that your husband had this kind of bond with, would this even be an issue?

Post # 10
1796 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

To ,be honest it sounds like you are overreacting. It sounds like your Darling Husband just wants to be close to his family. Since he hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him, I think you need to let this go. Just because you don’t like her, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t.

Post # 11
1457 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

If you’re not allowed to smile at the ticket taker at a movie theater, or have any male friends, I think you’re safe telling your SO he isn’t allowed to laugh so much at his SIL’s jokes.

Post # 12
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

While I do believe in trusting your gut, it does sound like you are jealous.

Post # 13
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Get to know them both better.  My SO and his SIL get along great, and that’s wonderful! I love that they are a close family who can spend a lot of time together. 

Post # 14
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If your husband isn’t the type to have a lot of female friends, then I can see where this would be something to puzzle over, but it is probably nothing to worry about.  Obviously your husband is crazy about you, and maybe he just genuinely likes her as a person because she makes his brother so happy.  Or maybe he knows how difficult it can be around in laws and wants to make sure she’s not uncomfortable, or maybe even he likes his brother and wants the 4 of you to really get along and spend more time together?

I am very close with both of my brothers in law (my sister’s husband, and my late husband’s younger sister’s husband…if you can follow LOL) and I assure you it is STRICTLY platonic, and neither wife has an issue with this.  In fact, my Brother-In-Law from my late husband’s side and I are BFF’s and often go shopping together, grab dinner, invite each other over to help fix things, attend concerts, etc. and usually his wife isn’t here because she’s at work (she’s always invited, of course).  We didn’t meet or become friendly until after they were dating for a while, but we just get along really well and tend to stick together at family functions.  His wife and I are also close, and the three of us have even taken vacations together (before I met FI) or gone on double dates…the whole family jokes that I’m his 2nd wife like in Big Love.  Even his wife calls me his ‘sister wife’ and sends me thank you’s when I help him pick out her gifts.  As a matter of fact, 2 summers ago a group of us all went white water rafting and spent the weekend at the family cabin, his wife couldn’t make it due to work schedules but my Father-In-Law and several cousins were all there and everyone else left early so when we woke up we were the only 2 there.  Obviously this wasn’t planned, it just worked out that way, and no one thought twice about it.  I suppose it looks weird to outsiders, but it is nothing to worry about.  I feel a little guilty now after reading this, but it’s just the way the relationship with the 3 of us has always worked.  We’re family, nothing more…I’m sure it’s something like that for your husband as well.

Post # 15
4802 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He probably feels a close family-like bond with her.  You have said that you don’t think they are flirting, so I would really try and let him just have this friendship with another member of the family.

Post # 16
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@GoldfishPie: Totally agreed. Are we just pretending all those other threads didn’t happen?

Also, when did you get married? I thought you were engaged?

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