(Closed) Husband and I moving back in with mom…(advice?)

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had to move back in with my parents after I left my first husband and went to nursing school. I suggest the three of you sit down, have a talk and set some ground rules re finances, use of facilities, responsibilities re housekeeping, laundry, cooking etc. It’s easier to come to common ground before there are hard feelings over different expectations.

It’s hard to go back home as an adult- it makes you feel like a child again.

Post # 4
Member
5400 posts
Bee Keeper

We had to move back in with my parents when I got sick. It’s not ideal but don’t let it get you down. If your mom is supportive and caring, you’re already lucky (I have amazing parents so I am lucky!). Just focus on moving forward and try to enjoy your time with her–they won’t live forever sadly. 

Post # 5
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Don’t feel defeated or like you’re going backwards!! It’ll be a helpful (and smart) move! My FH and I moved in with his parents last year so we could save for the wedding and our house.  At first, I felt the same as you described above especially since I hadn’t lived with parents in nearly 6 years and thought I was going forward, but we couldn’t swing a rent payment and put anything away and we needed money in the bank for the construction loan (plus you immediately start paying back the interest) and the wedding.  We thought we were going to be here for 9 – 12 months, we’re still here 12 months later and still waiting for our building permit!! But it is definitely one of our smartest moves.  We were able to put WAY more then we had expected in our savings account.  You don’t realize just how much you spend between rent, groceries, utilities, etc.  Fortunately, we’re living here rent free and his parents have foregone collecting ANY money from us as they’re considering it their gift to us.  I don’t want to sound like a freeloader – we do our fair share of work around the house and we help out where ever we can – we’re also the official house and dog sitter, LOL!

My future sister in law is an RN, my mom is an LPN and I have multiple friends that have gone through nursing school glad to hear you are sticking with it, it’ll be worth it in the end! Does your mom have any connections to help with your husband finding a job? I’m sure he’ll find a good job and I think the military background is really helpful with finding a job.

It’ll all work out! Keep your head up girl (or in your nursing books)!

Post # 6
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Hang in there. It is difficult to transition from military life to civilian life. Your hubby should qualify for unemployment until he finds A job. 

Post # 7
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I really hope he finds a good paying job. I know the government has hiring preference for vets– so I am very hopeful that he will be gainfully employed. Moreover, I like to think private buisnesses would prefer vets as well. Being in Afghanistan is something I could never handle, and I know it translates into a good work ethic. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Why doesn’t he sign up for college so he can use his GI bill? That would be another source of income.

Post # 9
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsTee:  hey lady! Fiance and I are in a similar situation. Fiance and I have been just making it living paycheck to paycheck for the past year on my salary alone (FI tried hard but couldn’t find a job) , and with the wedding this August, we really needed to be able to save money. Fiance finally got an awesome state job and started last month, and we are now just getting the chance to put some money away. We moved in with FI’s parents in April and will stay here until the wedding, to pay for the wedding and have money saved for another apartment. 

I know it feels like you might be working backwards, but you’re doing the right thing for the short term that will benefit you in the long term. I love my Future In-Laws and we’ve been lucky all living together with no issues. And I know that come September, when the wedding is paid for and we actually have savings to speak of, this will be worth it 🙂

Post # 10
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

It is hard staying with mother or inlaws. After we sold our house and when we are still looking for one, we moved back to my mom. Total of 4 people, me, hubby and two boys stay in one room. Plus my mom is so hard to deal with. Its harder for my husband cus he had been on his own she he was 18. My mom never knocks on the door before she comes in and we have no privacy at all. But its just the scarifice you make for the long run. You will be able to save and have a better future by moving back to your mom and it will be just for a short time. Its good for both your mom and you guys cus your mom needs somebody now and you guys are there for her. dont feel bad at all..:)

Post # 11
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kellmerr:  This.

Oh man, I have gotten so much money from the GI bill it’s insane.  And I started off at a CC where I was paying $700 for 4 classes, but still getting $1,300 a month.

 

Post # 12
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@MrsTee:  No experience here, just hugs coming your way!!!  I decided to reply just to tell you to hang in there with nursing school! Seriously, it’s a great career, and the hell of nursing school is totally worth it. If you’re getting your RN, you won’t ever have to worry about getting a job again (once you land your first job, anyway!) It’s a great way to make a living, and rewarding too!

But, no more saying “I’m not very bright.” I promise you are, or you wouldn’t be in nursing school right now. They don’t let “not very bright” people in! You are smart and worthy and you’ll make it through just fine 🙂 It was the roughest four years of my life, but totally worth it. Moving back in with your mom is a means to an end- a great way to start building a solid life together with your husband! 

Post # 15
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Things will look up! My Fiance and I live with my mom. It is good financially for us and my mom since I’m still in school. Vacant wait to move out though!

Post # 16
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s only a step back if you never leave.  Lot’s of people move home to regroup so they can make a bigger step forward sooner.  Heck my parents moved in with my grandmother before I was born to save money.  

 

The only thing I would suggest is coming up with some kind of cooking/cleaning schedule.  When my older brother moved home with his three kids, those were the biggest problems.  Oh and my horrific habit of leaving stuff in the washer. 😀 

The topic ‘Husband and I moving back in with mom…(advice?)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors