(Closed) Husband and I moving back in with mom…(advice?)

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

In today’s economy this is happening a lot more than we realize. I have friends that are in their mid to late 30’s moving back in with parents after losing what seemed to be their dream jobs.

Don’t look at it as a step back but more as a step towards a future with your husband. While it will be difficult at first I agree with the other bees that boundaries and discussions should occur before you have resentment. As a married couple you will need your space and if you need to get out of the house for a bit to do it don’t hesitate.

Post # 18
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

 

 

 

Post # 19
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I could have posted this myself! After a year of living together, my husband and I will be moving in with his parents this fall. He is currently in the Marine Corps and getting out after four years. We will both be going to school full time, plus working. The though of this is stressing me out already, because like you said school is a full time job! We are both 22 but I still have years left of school ahead of me due to chainging my major multiple times. We have two (big!) dogs and two ferrets,  and they have a 130 pound dog of their own so it is going to be a very tight fit. His parents are AMAZING people but I’m worried about the strain it will put on our relationship- our lives are going to be completely different and I’m worried between work and school we will never see eachother. I’m hoping for the best though and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel- how long do you plan to live with his parents? I told my husband we NEED to have a move out date in sight, so that our temporary living arrangement doesn’t turn into something more permanent. He is very close with his parents and I’m glad he will get some quality time with them, but I feel the same way. We are already in our own groove of doing things here and I also feel like by living with his parents I will feel the need to be at my best 100% of the time. It would be different if we were moving in with my own parents, but because of the military I’ve had limited time to spend with his and I still feel the need to impress them.

 

I know it will be a good move for us, but can’t help worrying. Going from having a steady paycheck to neither of us having a job and both being in school full time is going to be tough, and I (like you) could use all of the help I can get!

Post # 21
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsTee:  my fiance got out of the marine corps, and we had to move in with my parents. he could not find a job for about 6 or 7 months after getting out, and they offered to help us until we got married, so we could save and be able to pay for a wedding,and move out. it is really upsetting, and stressful. getting out of the military is already REALLY hard on vets, and moving in with parents does not make it easier.

you really do not realize how crappy the military treats vets until you go through it. it drives me crazy alll the time thinking of the things my fiance did for his country, and once the contract is up insurance stops, money stops, no help finding a job, or being taught real world experience. they go from a completely different life style then just get thrown right back into the civilian world.

I know exactly what you are going through, but i can also tell you.. living with my parents is not the end of the world. it will get easier to deal with.  any other questions feel free to ask because i was/am in the same sitaution! 

Post # 22
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Don’t worry! It will turn out much better than you think! I know that loss of independance is daunting, but think of all the benefits! I am a grad student and my fiance is on quite a low wage. We have done one year my mum (and it helps as she is recently separated and in need of company) and one year with his parents. We have saved so much money, got to know each other’s families inside out and had our relationship tested to the limits!! We have of course had tense moments, but have come off all the better for it. I am so pleased to have done it, and will only enjoy our independance even more when we can afford to get our own flat. Best of luck!

Post # 23
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

DH and I have never lived with my parents together, but I moved back in with them before the wedding to save money and get re-established in my hometown. (I had lived elsewhere for 4 years.) It was one of the smartest moves I ever made. I lived with them for 2 years, rent free, and was able to get on my feet and buy a home with my now DH, rather than renting another apartment. 

Post # 24
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

My husband and I are having to move in with my parents also. We recently moved and have been stayin with the sister in law so we coukd save money but she keeps asking us for more and more money. Then her husband eats all of our food. Anyways, we are moving due to not having a good job oand husband having issues with his mother. I understand that you feel like its a step backwards.  But think of it as bwing able to save up a lot of money and get a good job. Thats why we are moving in with my parents to save because im starting collage after summer and we still have a wedding to save up for. plus, im sure your mom will love having you there. Im not excited about living with my parents again  but at least I actully can save up and get a ride to the drs (only 17 and still no license) :p

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