(Closed) Husband and porn?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is it okay for your husband to watch porn?

    Yes

    No

    Only with me

    Only when I'm away

  • Post # 16
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee

    If we’re together, I prefer that he doesn’t because my drive is higher than his, but when we’re apart (business trips, etc), I don’t mind at all. I used to, and really did with past boyfriends when I was younger, but I grew out of that over time with Fiance.

    Post # 17
    Member
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I assume DH watches porn when I am not around…I have never seen any evidence, which is all good. I watch, too, we just don’t talk about it. 

    If he were watching it all the time, especially to the point where it was taking a toll on our sex life or anything else important then it would bother me.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2403 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    sillybilly:  It doesn’t bother me in any way, shape, or form. My husband can watch porn all he likes. Do I consider it cheating? No, lol. Of course not. It’s porn. 

    Hopefully he doesn’t consider my mild channing tatum obsession cheating… 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1687 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    My SO travels for a living so we both relieve ourselves quite often. I watch it when he’s gone and I know he watches it when he’s on the road. I was married to a porn addict before so it is a touchy subject for me, or at least it used to be. I think theres a normal healthy way to view porn and then there’s the addiction side of it. 

    Since my SO travels frequently neither of us watch it if he’s home and I’m the one that brought it up. If I’m home and you’re horny, come on over! (I can do it everyday where he’s more of an every other day) But this works for us. 

    Other than that, I really don’t care. Hopefully he learns something new! I do all the time and I tell him so. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    2013 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I don’t know for sure if my husband watches porn, but I’d bet money that he probably does. I definitely don’t consider it cheating. As long as it doesn’t interfere with our marriage, I couldn’t care less.

    Post # 21
    Member
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    If not, I’d be a hypocrite, because I watch it, too. We’re both discreet and respectful of each other so it’s NBD in our house.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1081 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I dun care as long as he is not obsessive about it… …. I know where he saved them on pc and he is not hiding them from me hahaha

    somtimes I made fun of him saying he is so old school because I jsut watch stream myself and he has to download them all 

    Post # 23
    Member
    1591 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Couldn’t care less so long as it doesn’t interfere with our sex life and it isn’t getting in the way of his normal life (i.e. addiction, can’t focus on anything else). We watch it together sometimes. I think it’s a fun way to spice things up and maybe learn a few new moves/positions! 

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Porn is just another way to pass time. Like if I’m taking a poop I’ll think “well I already got my pants off and I’m on my phone, might as well rub one out real quick”. Now if he rather play pocket pool than have sex, that’s a real problem.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1449 posts
    Bumble bee

    Here’s this thing, and this might be an unpopular opinion but sorrynotsorry (a little sorry it got so long tho). Before Fiance, all the dudes I dated watched porn. I mean clearly, like 95% of people do. But then I met Fiance and somehow the topic came up, and he was like “I don’t watch porn while in relationships because it changes how you think about sex”, and I was all “really? Are you sure? I don’t mind!” (Cuz I was trying to be all cool-girl even though I was internally like “OMG this is AWESOME!!).

    And ladies, lemme tell you something a little Too Much Information, our sex life is AMAZING. Off the charts. Now I’m not assuming causation or even correlation with the porn thing, maybe it’s just a compatibility thing, but I can’t lie, it’s unbelievable how much better it is than it’s ever been with a porn-watching boyfriend. It’s gotta at least be a tiny factor, cuz I’ve dated some great guys before. Anyway, I’m super on-board with being a pornless couple, it’s amazing being on this side. As a nice side-effect, I feel like it has also helped my body image

    Now, if he ever came to me and was like “I wanna watch porn again” then fine, I’d be okay with it, but 100% honestly I’d be a bit disappointed

    And before anyone says “he watches porn and doesn’t tell you”, fuck right off thank you kindly. You don’t know him, I do.

    Post # 26
    Member
    345 posts
    Helper bee

    I watch it myself so im fine with him watching it as well. 

    I pnce woke up to him taking care of business next to me and I said thanks. I had an exhausting day and I really appreciated him turning to porn instead of waking me up. If that’s not love, idk what is. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    769 posts
    Busy bee

     

    View original reply
    minniegrace:  totally with you here, as you will know from previous threads. Previous partners have watched porn and it’s always bothered me (for a number of reasons) but I do believe in autonomy and I’d never ask for them to stop watching it. When I got together with SO he was the one who mentioned it first. He doesn’t watch porn, it doesn’t interest him in the least. I suppose this is the part where SO’s sexuality differs from the other guys I have been with – he has no interest in sex outside of a loving relationship. He’s never had a one night stand or casual sex, and it squicks him out. I, on the other hand, am quite capable of separating sex and love. But for him this does not compute. Without going into too much detail because I think it would be disrespectful to him, SO is highly emotionally based when it comes to our sex life – far more than I am. Perhaps that’s why he isn’t interested in porn – it’s all id based. 

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