Husband and wife jokes

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    Member
    4242 posts
    Honey bee

    Did he never tell jokes before?

    Post # 3
    Member
    596 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Surely he’s like this a lot?

    Whats the differece between dating couples making jokes and ‘husband and wife jokes’?

    Do you have a problem knowing when anyone is joking?

    If he’s taking it too far and verging on being nasty then that’s a problem but this doesn’t sound like that if I’m honest. You were being petty complaining about his daily foot massage and he was sarcastic back.

    Post # 4
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee

    He was probably a little miffed that you told him his (definitely non-mandatory and not common) daily foot massage was not up to par. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    829 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Sounds like you criticized him first, and he felt defensive and cracked a negative joke about you in response/retaliation. Perhaps you hurt his feelings? Are you guys often kind of passive-aggressive with each other?

    (BTW, if Darling Husband gave me daily foot massages, I’d be counting my lucky stars, not complaining about substandard effort! And it would earn him a fair bit of leeway in terms of cracking feet jokes, as long as he kept up the massages.)

    Post # 6
    Member
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I think most people marry people they’re compatible with. Sounds like you aren’t compatible on this level with him. Not sure what advice to give. But I do question why you’re asking now, and why you wouldn’t have questioned this while you were engaged or dating? Surely he’s been like this all along. Did you never have these conversations before? Sounds unfair to him at this point. Unless this is new behavior? 

    Post # 7
    Member
    5028 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I don’t think its all that uncommon for people to respond to honest, critical feedback with sarcasm or a joke because being a recipient of such is hard and uncomfortable.  I think this has less to do with joking and more with how the two of you communicate with one another.  Perhaps your delivery of honest feedback and his response could use an extra dose of sensitivity so not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

    In my opinion this is such a minor offense and should be easily forgiven by both you and your husband.  The best thing to do is to discuss your feelings and determine how you can communicate better in the future.

    ETA: MANY people have an aversion to feet so I would not take it so personally.  The first time I ever asked Darling Husband for a foot massage his response took me by surprise, he wasn’t very welcoming to the idea.  I immediately laughed because I was taken back.  I mean, my feet are clean and well pedicured but that wasn’t the point.  The point was many people simply don’t like feet and thats okay, I prefer a back massage any day!

    Post # 8
    Member
    626 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    You get daily foot massages?! Impressed and a touch envious 🙂 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4683 posts
    Honey bee

    Lots of people think feet are ugly.

    You gave completely unsolicited feedback that the completely optional loving, caring act he performed out of the goodness of his heart to make you feel more comfortable wasn’t up to par this time?  Personally, I think the level of your ingratitude here is the far bigger crime of the two.  How ungracious.  That would make me feel like crap if my SO said that to me in response to me trying to do something nice for him.  That would probably be the last foot massage he ever got from me because I don’t waste my time doing things for ungrateful people who complain about the nice thing I’m doing.

    Get over your damn feet and learn to respond to acts of kindness with some graciousness.  You probably won’t get “joke” comments about your feet if you display a little more gratitude.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2342 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    “Next morning I constantly kept bringing it up”

    How would you have felt about him constantly bringing up you criticising his foot massage after a night’s sleep? 

    When you say you are “sensitive” I think you mean “touchy”, because there is no evidence that you are sensitive to other people’s feelings at all. 

    Hopefully it’s pregnancy hormones, but do try to pull your head out of your arse because that kind of self-obsession is really wearing to live with. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    You are being too sensitive.

    Post # 12
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee

    One of the hardest thing about being married is jokes between a couple?

    You don’t ever joke about? Do not not laugh and joke with your husband? Do yous have fun together? What makes you smile/laugh? 

    You sound like very hard work. I’d be afraid to open my mouth around you!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

     You criticised a luxury he gives you, and he responded in kind humour. Sounds like you should be counting your lucky stars you’ve got a man like that.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2328 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    He rubs your feet daily and you told him it was sub par!? I think it’s you who should apologise.

    Imagine if you have him a daily handjob and he told you it wasn’t great… 

    Post # 15
    Member
    6674 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I have to agree with the PPs here. You criticized something that he was generous to be doing AT ALL, and he responded with a “joke”. Fair enough. Next time, be grateful he gives you a foot massage at all. I’d say you owe HIM an apology, not vice versa.

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