(Closed) Husband ask for divorce via text

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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makeuplover:  you were wrong about him because he is a cruel POS. There is no other explanation for the horrid way he has conducted himself. He is trying to hurt you. There is no reason why a mentally sound person would tell their partner they made them sick. 

You are devastated because he fooled you and you can’t quite absorb who he really is yet. You will. 

None of this is a reflection on you. He is a cruel, sick person. Protect your heart and soul from further damage. Don’t let him back in, and trust me, if he feels you backing away, he might try to rope you back in.

Post # 47
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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makeuplover:  I wouldn’t think of it as losing five years of your life.  But I do think you’ll be wasting your time if you decide to stay if him.  You seems like a wonderful, devoted, intelligent woman.  You can do better.  I know your scared and confused right now but I promise you their is life without him!  You’re not the only person to go through this.  He’s being very cruel and abusive towards you.  You don’t deserve that and there is no excuse to treat you like that.  He’s saying that he can’t stand the sight of you – can you stand the sight of him?  You’re only 26.  I didn’t meet my hubbie until I was 29 and we only married last year.  There is a whole world of people out there.  I know that there are better things ahead for you.  I think in realtionships it’s important to use your head not just the heart.  I think deep down you know it’s not going to work.

Post # 49
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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makeuplover:  Focus on your day and your school work! Good luck with your classes 🙂 x

Post # 50
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 

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makeuplover:  If he is disrespectful enough to send you a text saying he wants a divorce an not giving you face to face to explain himself then you DO NOT need him in your life. You need to pack your stuff and catch the first plane home to your family!

If a divorce is what this insensitive jerk wants, girl give t to him.

Post # 51
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 

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makeuplover:  Has he ever cheated or ever been flirty?

Post # 52
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 

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makeuplover:  How far do you live from your family? You are YOUNG i am your age. You need to get up with your family IMMEDIATELY let them know what is going on and see if they can come get you!

Since you are fin. dependent on him he thinks he has you in a corner. That he can do whatever he wants and hurt you and in his mind there is nowhere for you to go.

Call your parents now.

Post # 54
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

a few things

1) Time spent with someone is NEVER time wasted. Even though this guy is a total dick (seriously, total dick) for what he’s done, your time spent together in retrospect will have changed your life for the better SOMEHOW

2) Move on.

3) Any time a guy says “I just am not good enough for YOU, YOU deserve better” what he means is “eff this I’m outta here” and he’s not thinking about you at all. He’s saying those things to keep you on the hook so you don’t immediately lawyer up and move forward with the divorce… heck since he hasn’t made a decision yet, he could still come crawling back next week if he wanted.

This is like when guys just start ignoring you and treating you like shit when you’re dating until you break up with them and make YOU the bad guy. He’s saying that he’s not good enough for you to put you in a position where it seems like you have the power (you don’t) and really he’s just not meeting YOUR needs (he is, or you wouldn’t love him).

This dude is manipulating you. Lawyer up. Take some time off school if you can and don’t let him push you around with his maybes. at 26 you have your whole life to live. 

Post # 55
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee

Screw this guy. You know how guys complain about how women screw them over in the divorce? This is one sucker who deserves it! You deserve so much better. Next time he comes mouthing off to you, tell him to get the hell out of your home and not to come back until he has divorce papers and a moving truck.

Post # 56
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 

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makeuplover:  Have you old your family about how heis acting? Sounds like he has dne something he is ashamed of or that he isnt the “awesome non cheating” guy you thought he was. He is dragging you along and treating you like the dirt on the bottom of his shoe, don take that from him.

Post # 57
Member
3879 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Look, I know this is hard. But it’s not the end of the world, and things get better. I was divorced after being married for SIXTEEN YEARS. Sure I was devastated, but I am so much happier now than I ever was before. Of course you want to remember the good times, but that’s not the person he is now. Just keep those good memories close to your heart and move on. He’s not worth your time, energy or tears.

Post # 58
Member
354 posts
Helper bee

Your story hit me in the stomach. Your husband is probably the WORST man I’ve ever heard of (and I’ve met quite a few myself). Dumping your wife via text is terrible enough; but he did it just before a crucial moment for you. He showed no respect at all, so please Bee from now on don’t show him any respect, either. I am so sorry you’re going through this. Sometimes life just sucks.

However, it’s a good thing that you are preoccupied with schoolwork now. It will help you keep busy and recover sooner. You’ll survive and maybe be thankful one day, when you meet someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I’m sending lots of positive energy. You’ll make it. 

Post # 59
Member
2060 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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makeuplover:  Do you have his credit card? Use his credit card to buy the ticket (no matter the cost) and get go home to your family for love, support, and healing. He can pay the bill.

Post # 60
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m so sorry bee! He’s such an ass! Just focus on your school work and yourself. He can shove his “final decision”. He doesn’t get a say anymore, he’s said his peace now it’s your turn. I know it’s hard, a few of us understand a divorce and a difficult one at that. But look at us now, we are strong independent women. You will get through this and you will be a better stronger person for it. Don’t let him break you. He’s missing out not you. When you get down cry it out, when you need to talk come talk to us. I’m sorry for what he is putting you through. It will be ok. Just try to stay strong (easier said than done I know). Hugs your way bee!

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