(Closed) Husband asked to watch porn while having sex!! Help

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KacieG:  If you are not comfortable with it, you need to sit him down and have a talk with him. Explain how you feel. It’s not for everyone. He loves you and is your husband. He will understand.

Post # 5
Member
3766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@figgnewton:  +1

I enjoy watching porn with my man, but I also know if I am uncomfortable that he’ll understand. Your man will, too. Just have an open conversation about it. Perhaps suggest some toys or something else fun and new instead!!

Post # 4
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

I agree. But if you are interested in it, tell him, but not to make a habit out of it. Maybe make it a “once in a while” thing.  

Post # 6
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

It’s exactly the same as getting all rowdy while Legends of the Fall is on…just way less moaning and nipples.

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

When my SO asked to include porn for the first time I felt like he believed that our sex life wasn’t good enough so he needed to add something to it so he could enjoy himself. After we discussed it I see it as being a great thing every once in a while. I sat him down and discussed that although it was great I wanted our personal time to not rely on porn. He explained that it was never his intention to make me feel like that. Turns out in my situation it was just a miscommunication between us. The joys of men and women often saying the same thing in 2 totally different ways. 

You said it weirded you out but you also really enjoyed it. Is your discomfort coming from the fact that the ‘idea of porn’ was this issue?  Are you uncomfortable with the fact that it’s porn or is it the fact that you feel like he ‘needs it’ to have sex? Or is it neither? If I were you I’d take some time to really think about what the issue was. Then when you have answers go talk to your SO. You married him because you love and trust him, so feel free to be open. I’m sure he’ll understand. Maybe you both just had a miscommunication like I did with my SO.

Good Luck!

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just talk to him about it. As other posters suggested, maybe you all could just watch it occasionally? I wouldn’t mind watching it during the act, but I also wouldn’t want it to be an all the time thing.

Post # 9
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

What makes you uncomfortable with it?

Post # 10
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

i second the once in a while thing. if you don’t want to do it all the time, you will be frustrated if he asks every time. while there is theoretically nothing wrong with watching it, it seems like a bad idea to get dependent on it. those kinds of things are a slippery slope.

once in a while seems like a good idea of you both like it!

Post # 11
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 I agree with PPs, it’s a “once in while” thing.  I imagine since you just started, and both enjoyed, he’s simply really excited about it!  Talk to him, be honest – “I really enjoyed watching XXX with you.  But can we do that once in a while?  I don’t want to do it all the time because I want to enjoy sex with just you and me.”  He will understand, really.  Don’t be apprehensive about having this conversation.  It’s good to talk openly about your sex life and your expectations when it comes to sex and intimacy.

Good luck and have fun!

Post # 12
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Its not that big of a deal. I say do it again, as long as its not an everytime thing, I’d be ok with it. It changes it up a bit.

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