Husband called me by someone else's name during sex…

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

Oh my god. I am so so sorry. I have no words.

Post # 47
Member
3712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

OH my god bee, I’m so sorry you’re going through this! What an awful discovery. I understand how it feels like the floor has fallen out from underneath you, your whole world completely changed in an instant. 

You just need to take baby steps here, figure out if you’re going to leave or try to repair the relationship. If you need time apart to clear your head and process this, take it! I’m so sorry, if you need someone to talk to who’s been where you are, feel free to PM me!

Post # 49
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you WILL recover and go on with your life. Give yourself permission to mourn and take it one step, one minute at a time.

Post # 50
Member
3712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

nosybee :  Good for you bee, you’re stronger than you know! Mid-liofe crisis, my ass. What a piece of work! 

Post # 51
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“I’ve kicked him out.  I shouldn’t be the one who has to stay with family due to his indiscretions.”

Exactly the right call. Bravo.

 

 

Post # 52
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry bee. And good for you to kick him out. I wouldn’t be able to forgive him for this. It’s not a one time mistake. This has been going on for over half of the year. I doubt he has intentions of stopping either. This is just another one of his lies to try to fix things like the porn star lie. He’s disgusting. 

Post # 53
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

OMFG. Bee, I am so livid for you right now. 7 months?!?

Make sure you get tested for STIs. and lawyer up, immediately.

ETA: mid life crisis? Bull. SHIT. Buy a fancy car, go skydiving, don’t cheat on your spouse.

Post # 54
Member
2217 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry Bee. Even though I joked about the porn star thing, I honestly did not jump to the thought he was actually sleeping with someone else. I am sorry that is what it turned out to be.

 

Get an attorney and start gathering all your financial papers. He will probably play nice for awhile in the hopes of winning you back but once he realizes you’re done, be prepared for him to get nasty. Make sure you know of all bank accounts, retirement accounts,investment accounts, etc. Take some cash out now (don’t take more than half), in case he decides to drain the bank accounts out of anger (you’ll have some recourse if he does this, but you don’t want to be in Target trying to pay for your groceries and shampoo and have your card declined in the meantime).

Post # 55
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

Good for you. Also, totally agree SEVEN months is not a midlife crisis. It wasn’t a few bad decisions, it was months of lies and sneaking around. Surviving infidelity has some really good information and boards with a lot of great advice as well. Might be worth checking them out. 

Post # 56
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

I’m really sad to read this update, OP. I’m glad you’re looking out for yourself and staying in the house. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I wish you the best of luck in whatever decisions you make.

Post # 57
Member
834 posts
Busy bee

Find a good attorney and rake him over the coals. What a fucking asshole. God I’m so pissed and I don’t even know you or him. I’m so sorry. 

Post # 58
Hostess
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Holy shit. Yeah, 7 months of this is NOT a midlife crisis. What a dick. 

Post # 59
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

So sorry to hear about this insane update. We are with you, Bee. 

Post # 60
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

This is very sad. You must be devastated. Personally, I would not take him back. This went on for a long time underneath your nose and it doesn’t seem like he was planning on confessing anytime soon. He just confessed because he got caught. He is not worthy of you. I will be thinking and praying for you as you deal with this terrible situation. Hugs. 

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