(Closed) Husband calling me shallow for wanting a "pretty" house!

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 62
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You can do small updates that are inexpensive and turn what you think is ugly into something pretty! My friend bought a house and hated the cabinets so we all helped her prime and paint them a color she wanted and changed the hardware.  We did they same for her bathrooms! Doors are easy and so is trim.

Post # 63
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

So your husband is picking this house based on a good location and good schools.

So you’d rather live in a worse neighbourhood with shitty schools just so you could have a ‘pretty’ house? Then yes, I’d agree with him, that is shallow. You are putting your want of a pretty house before the need of his child to be in a good school district.

Post # 64
2671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
monkey89 :  Thanks for responding. I think if you had mentioned that your husband was prioritizing a good school district for your stepdaughter in your initial post, you would have gotten different answers. I don’t know if it was intentional, but by leaving that out you made it sound like he was being unreasonable and ridiculous. In light of the new info, I agree with your husband 100%. As parents, your child’s education should be prioritized over having a “pretty house.” Education is forever, a starter house is not. 


Post # 65
4500 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Am I really the only person who was taught that an ugly house in the best neighbourhood will always be worth more than a beautiful house in a bad neighbourhood?

My parents live in a great neighbourhod, and houses there that have nothing done to them since the 60’s are still worth far more than any new build in our city. Our house is 8 years old, and we are already having to put money into it: that’s just the reality of owning a house. And realistically, ANY house you buy now if it’s going to be your forever home, at some point you will have to do the kitchen, and all the bathrooms….or in 30 years it will be worth far less, whether it’s 100 years old or 30. So this idea that newer is better bc it will cost less over time….not so much.

Go for the house with the best location. You can change everything else, but you can’t change location.

Save your mony, pinch your pennies and do your renovations right with reputable companies. If that takes 5 years…an ugly kitchen won’t kill you, I promise.

Post # 66
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
monkey89 :  Good location and quality schools are perfectly sound choices for choosing a home. “Home” is about more than countertops and more than what exists within your walls, it’s also about the community you live in. The busy road would be a no-go for me, though. 

Post # 67
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

While the house you linked to is tidy although outdated, I would want to do some renovation too. We did a pretty good amount of renovation after buying our first home before move in (floors, kitchen, 1 bathroom, paint, opening up a load bearing wall) BUT we were purchasing in our early 30’s, had over 20% down, and the cash available for said renovations. Also the photos online made our house look way better, I might have been able to live in it, but I wouldn’t be nearly as content as I am now.

I can tell you though renovated properties do command a premium. Are you able to do things such as flooring in some areas and paint first now? Then over time you can do the kitchen and bathrooms (flooring for those areas then)? It’s true you can’t change location so something that needs work in a great area is better off than a tiny renovated home in the not so great part of town. Small things such as paint and furniture can really help and you can change other things over time. Good luck.

Post # 68
632 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
monkey89 :  A floorplan that is functionally obsolescent will severely impact marketability and price in the best location.  The same can be said for a home located off a busy street or near a highway.  Buying the least marketable home in a desirable area isn’t some universal formula for successful real estate investing.  

TX has an abundance of affordable housing, but incredibly high property taxes so hopefully you can find a balance.  Adding 5-10 minutes to your commute to have good schools and a slightly updated home on a quiet street in an established neighborhood would possibly be a good compromise. 

Post # 69
1452 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
monkey89 :  “We do not have any money saved aside from the $50,000 for a down payment on a house and he wants to use all of it!

If that’s literally all the cash you have, then I don’t think you guys can afford a $250k – $300k house? Even if your husband’s boss is covering the closing costs.  Which btw what does that entail?  I’m guessing it covers the loan costs like the “points” on the loan and the origination fee at the very least?  My husband and I just bought a house in TX as well (DFW area) and we paid about $1k for each of those two things.  

But is the boss also covering the initial homeowner’s insurance, mortgage insurance (if applicable), property taxes that are put in escrow?  Title preparation fee ($2k for us)? Title insurance ($500 for us)? Appraisal fee ($500 for us)? Other random crap like deed recording fee ($34), mortgage recording fee ($86), HOA transfer of service fee ($100), title endorsement fee (almost $200), credit report ($66 for us)…?  

After everything is said and done we had to come up with, in addition to the 20% down payment, another load of cash about 16-17% of the down payment amount. So in your case that’d be more than $8k on top of the $50k.  Is your husband’s boss covering all of that?  

I’m sure you know this but cost of ownership in Texas is higher than other places because of the ridiculous property tax even after the homestead exemption.  Our monthly payments that go towards taxes and homeowner insurance is 2/3 of the amount that goes towards interest and principal.

If Houston market is anything like DFW, idk you’d get away with putting less % down because 1) you’d have to pay for your mortgage like higher rate and potentially mortgage insurance, and 2) we had so many listings getting sold out from under us before we even had a chance to tour it.  My brother in law is also looking in DFW at a lower price bracket, and in that range he is having to offer 10% above asking price and STILL getting beat out by cash offers.  

Post # 71
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

thats difficult when you and your husband have differing goals and tastes.

I dont consider it shallow..would it be nice if we all didnt give a crap about what things looked like,yes, but it is normal and human to care.

My DH pretty much lets me choose most things so that helps lol! When we bought our home a few yrs ago, it was acceptable but needed updating so we did (hardwood floors, french doors instead of sliding glass, 2 bathroom renos, painted a few rooms, crown moulding. Luckily kitchen had already been recently reno’ed by previous owner). Love the house now, its just so relaxing and simple beauty to me, so that is worth alot in my opinion.


hopefully you can compromise and if unable to find move in ready home at your price point, you can wait less than 5 years to do major reno. Sometimes just new flooring, pretty paint, and updating lighting does wonders.

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