- 11 months ago
I feel very broken right now and I’m just needing some support and advice from people who have gone through similar situations.
I got married almost two years ago to my husband. In total we have been 4 years together. He proposed and soon afterwards I got pregnant. Things have been rough since our daughter was born, I think I had mild Post Partum Depression for the first year, although I didn’t realize it at the moment. We also moved cities and he lost his job several times in the first year of marriage, I have been the main breadwinner as well. I admit that in the past few months I haven’t been a caring or loving wife, I have let myself go and have felt really pressured and bearer of more than I can carry: breastfeeding and educating our daughter, a stressful job, paying the bills on time, pressure from my parents due to the fact that they don’t trust my husband, etc. We both neglected the relationship.
On top of all of this, About three months after we were married (I was pregnant), I discovered that he was flirting with a woman via social media again (this had happenned in our relationship but I forgave him). I talked to him and after much proding he also confessed he had slept with his ex during the time we were dating. This of course crushed me and took a lot of time and effort to forgive. I told him that if anything like this happened again I would file for divorce.
A few days ago though, I saw a message from another woman that was very suspicious. In spite of myself I checked his phone and he was flirting again and asking her out (these are all random women btw), by doing further research I found out he had downloaded Tinder recently and was also flirting with two other woman there. I confronted him and told him I wanted a divorce, and that I wanted him to leave the house (the house is rented, and is a benefit from my job). He is not accepting this, saying that he can’t leave us, that I can’t take him away from his daughter, that he doesn’t have anywhere to go, etc.
The last thing I wanted was for my daughter to grow up without both of her parents home, but I feel so disrespected and frankly tired. I know there is the option of couple’s therapy, and I have considered this, but I just don’t trust him. The worse thing is that he has asked for forgiveness, but he hasn’t told me that it won’t happen again or that he will look for help, not once. Yesterday he even said that he didn’t feel loved or appreciated and maybe that’s why he did it, that I should consider that. He’s trying to act as if nothing has happened and won’t leave. Today he told me he wants to go on a date, but I don’t think that will fix anything right now.
Sidenote: He hasn’t been able to provide for our family, and I have incurred into debt trying to hold everything together. Now he is in a better job position and supposedly going to be in a better place financially.
Any opinions about this?