Husband cheated while I'm pregnant.

posted 4 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 76
4325 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The more you post the more I dislike this guy. I hate this idea he’s pushing that she tried to trap him, like he’s some victim who had no say in this. Fuck that, he’s the one who was married, he’s the one who had an obligation to NOT sleep with other people.

The fact that he’s putting it on her in any way, not to mention not even giving you a reason why tells me that he has learned absolutely nothing from this, making it unlikely it was a one-time mistake that won’t happen again. 

I don’t personally subscribe to the idea of “once a cheater always a cheater”, but I do subscribe to the idea that when you’re someone who can’t admit fault or own your mistakes that’s unlikely to change without serious work, none of which he has done.

Post # 77
49 posts

Look, I am so sorry that this is happening to you and I can’t begin to imagine the hurt you’re feeling rn.

But what I can understand is growing up in a house with a father who cheated on my mother consistently. Including when she was pregnant with me. None of those affairs resulted in a bastard child, and they didn’t need to. You will never, NEVER look at your husband the same way. Trust him the same way.

Do yourself and your child a favor and start over. The reality is, it’s just you and that baby boy against the world now. He needs you, and you have to do what’s right for HIM. Not your absolute disaster of a husband. Not even yourself. And what’s best for that baby is providing him a calm, happy environment surrounded by love to grow up in. Even if the love in your house is only between you and your child, it’s better than him watching a broken marriage circle the drain his whole life. Trust me. Been THERE, girl. 

Post # 78
2982 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I don’t believe your husband at all. I doubt that he had sex with her only once. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he ended up with her after you leave him.

Post # 79
617 posts
Busy bee

I want to echo what 

View original reply
@saratiara2:  is saying about this being a “trap baby”. No. This narrative is sexist and paints your husband as some innocent who was tricked by an evil jealous fatal attraction female. He was not trapped by a woman he was having a 3 month long emotional affair with, got drunk with and made the choice to have unprotected sex with. 

Do I have a lot of respect for women who sleep with married men? Not really, no. However, the bad guy in this story is your husband and when he tries to pass the blame on the other women he is ignoring his own blame. He took vows to be faithful to you. She didn’t. 

Post # 80
617 posts
Busy bee

 And to add to that: One sure fire way to avoid being “trapped” by a woman who isn’t your wife with a baby you do not want to have… is not to have sex with her

Post # 81
74 posts
Worker bee

I am very sorry that this happen to you. Forgiving does not mean reconnection and you can not love someone you dont trust. Move on! Make sure to try to get to a place where both of you can co-parent and that is the extend of the relationship that you should have. No matter how fucked up is the situation we can not forget that there are TWO innocent babies on the middle of everything that are not to blame for the mistakes of adults. If you decide to get back with him please make sure you do not hold a grude to the other baby. Is not fair for many involved but there is not going back. 

Post # 82
58 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
@mohbestie:  1000% 

he has so many excuses. “He got drunk and it just happened”. “She tricked him”. Lots of people get drunk and don’t cheat on their partners. I haven’t heard any hint of him taking real responsibility over his choices. All I hear is him playing the victim card. 

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