Husband drinking problem what should I do?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2022

Where does he get drunk? Out with friends, or home alone? How does he act when he’s drunk? Has he ever hurt you or your daughter? Has his drinking affected his job or other important parts of your lives?

Post # 3
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you’re thinking of leaving, first thing I’d suggest is get a job.

Post # 5
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

View original reply
kmdublin11 :  there’s nothing you can do he will only stop if he wants I can tell you this100% 

Ive been in your situation but worse 

I’m not sure what advice to give sorry ask me stuff if u like tho 

Post # 7
Member
7352 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think you need to figure out what your next steps should be if you decide you’re dumping him. I don’t know what those are but I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would get out of there and do it now before this current situation has too much influence on what my child considers to be “normal” in her home.

Post # 9
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Well… for me, first I’d decide if he’s an alcoholic. Does he drink every day? Does he get drunk/ black out every time or most of the time? 

If he is a true alcoholic then I’d talk to him about AA. 

If he is just a social drinker…. drinks on weekends, with friends, special occasions and the odd beer at home but seems in control of when he drinks, then I’d see if y’all can compromise. No drinking around the kid etc. maybe couples counseling. Etc. Try to remember why you loved him. He’s probably been this way all along, so it might seem random to him that it’s this big of a deal all of the sudden.

But regardless, if you want to leave him, you need a job and to be able to afford to leave. Or accept that the situation is bad enough to go to a shelter.

Post # 11
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

How long has he been drinking for? Have you tried to help him stop and understand the reason it started?

Post # 13
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Go to Al-Anon; they will help you see what to do.

Post # 14
Member
1873 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Does he know how much his drinking affects you and your family?

Does he recognise he has a problem?

Do you think that, if it came to it, he would choose you over the drink?

If all your answers are no, then Bee, you need to find a way out. 

My cousin’s husband was a drinker even before they got married. Afterwards it escalated and he pulled a knife on her. She didn’t leave, she has no job and nowhere to go.

Problem drinking always escalates

 

Post # 15
Member
10988 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
bibliophilacticbee :  

If his drinking is interfering with his job and his relationship with his wiife, yeah; he absolutely has crossed the line into full blown alcoholism.

If he will not acknowledge it and get into treatment, either AA or a rehab facility, leaving is OP’s only option.

There is an innocent hostage who does not deserve to be forced to live with an alcoholic parent.

 

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