(Closed) Husband forgot to turn and watch me walk down the aisle? :(

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
Member
1687 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Okay id be sentimental about it too but you will laugh about it one day! He was just nervous!

Post # 17
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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catlady01:  I’m sorry you are feeling a bit disappointed. I have a story to make you feel better.

When I walked down the ailse, my husband was looking at me, but the look on his face lol. He just has this semi bored/amused look on his face and I have pics to prove it! I know it’s just cuz he couldn’t process his emotions and he really was happy. I just like to tease him about it.

Post # 18
Member
1858 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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almostaudrey: 👏🏼

pinterest is ruining weddings left right and centre. But seriously OP short of a time machine being invented you are going to have to let it go. 

Post # 19
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

if it helps – traditionally it is bad luck to turn and watch… people use to believe it was an oman for divorce, the longer the groom doesnt look the stronger the marriage – so your going to have a long, strong marriage

Post # 20
Member
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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catlady01:  Do you tend to be someone who dwells on details, either in the past or beyond your control?  If this is something that you deal with frequently I’d strongly recommend looking into cognitive behavioral therapy, it can really do wonders for these kinds of maladaptive obsessive thought processes.  If this is an isolated incident for you that’s probably not necessary.  Best of luck!

ETA: I vaguely remember this is the way they did it at the royal wedding, I think Kate Middleton walked the aisle while Prince Whatshisname was facing the other way.  Can anyone back me up on that?  So you can think of your wedding as a royal one 😉

Post # 21
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I would think about why I felt the wedding day was “all about me day” instead of the awesome start to your new life together.  Not saying that to be mean but try to shift your thoughts to the day you two shared together, instead of what YOU personally missed out on.  It is not important that eyes be on you for the, what, 45 seconds you walked down the aisle.  It is important that you both have good memories of the day and you have a good rest of your lives.  It will sour the day for BOTH of you if this is all you focus on.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  islandtime.
Post # 22
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Everyone has something that went awry with any big event, weddings included. While it would have been nice for you and DH to have that moment, that’s all it is – a moment. You are married, and you cannot go back and do it again. You need to forgive everyone involved and move on. I don’t see this as something big enough that one would have to “cope” with it, but ymmv, obviously. What’s done is done, so look forward instead of back.

Post # 23
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

In our church the priest didn’t let my husband look at me as I walked down we had to wait until we were both at the altar. it upset me when i first heard the news but 2yrs later I have never thought if it again! We are still happy and together. 

Post # 24
Member
7552 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Very few things in life live up to our daydreams of them. Best advice is just to let it go. Nothing is perfect, but that’s okay because it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Post # 25
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Have you seen your wedding photos yet?

My husband didn’t turn to watch me walking down the aisle. I had just assumed he would and after when I asked him why he didn’t, he said he wanted to but thought that he was supposed to face the front until I got to the altar beside him. I felt a bit sad about it because I had imagined just walking up the aisle towards him and seeing the expression on his face, instead I just saw his back. But when we got the photos back, the photos that the photographer took of him waiting for me are literally my favourite photos, he just looks so excited waiting for me while I’m walking up behind him. I might not have got to see it on the day but it doesn’t matter because I can look at it any time I want now.

Post # 26
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I get how you feel. For my forsr, we got married at the courthouse with our siblings and parents. However, due to a scheduling mistake, when we arrived the judge was sentencing someone so we had to wait in the lobby, so I didn’t get to make an entrance, as we just hung out. 

For FI’s first wedding, they didn’t even go to the cOuthouse. They got married in her living room, and she didn’t even stand up and wore shorts and an exercise bra top (it was her second marriage). Apparently she sat down the whole time with her arms crossed.

So due to all that, we’ve already decided how carefully planned out we have to have everything. 

Post # 27
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Literally the exact same thing happened to us, we eloped on a beach and there was no music or anything and the officiant didn’t tell him when to turn around so I actually had to tap him on the shoulder when I arrived at the altar. I was a little disappointed that he didn’t see me walk down, but his face when he saw me and the tears in his eyes throughout the whole ceremony was more than I could have asked for, it was beautiful. Focus on the positives, you can’t change the past. 

Post # 28
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry you are dissapointed and sad over him missing that. But bee, most of us miss something at our weddings.

-My husband and I never cut the cake. Lol. So yeah. We don’t have pics of us cutting the cake

– we don’t have pics of a love story. Hell, my dress was ready the NIGHT before! Oh, and it broke as I was trying to try it on in my house. They had to cut it open to get me out of it and my Maid/Matron of Honor took it to a seamstress at 8am the day of the wedding

– I don’t have many pics with my Bridesmaid and Maid/Matron of Honor. Which btw, were my nieces. That kinda sucks and still hurts a bit. Everything happened too fast and since I was DIYing almost everything, I did not get to have a hotel suite and a morning of us chilling and getting ready. Heck, I don’t have pics of myself getting ready. I got ready in the bathroom of the venue. Charming. Lol

Focus on all the good stuff. You are married now! And as other bees have said. You can always have a vow renewal or a kick ass party where you can make new memories. 

 

Post # 29
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I also think it’s a cute story about his nervousness! If it makes you feel better, we also had a private ceremony, and we didn’t even have a walking down the aisle part to our ceremony. I would focus on the quality of the marriage and move on from this memory that’s distressing for you. You’re married! That’s what matters. 

Post # 30
Member
9101 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
catlady01:  Did you watch the royal wedding a few years ago? Prince William didn’t watch Kate walk down the aisle. It was sweet, you could see Harry (who WAS watching her) whisper “she’s beautiful” or something like that, and William just smiled with anticipation. I don’t think it’s unusual or needs to be seen as a mistake or something to “learn to cope with.” It’s just how your wedding went — so you have something in common with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. That makes it fun, right?

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