- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2014
DH’s contract with the army is set to end May 2017. Some things are in the air however and he may get out earlier because he was hurt last year. He is currently in medical review for this issue.
Unfortunately there is lack of leadership in his company and he has no direction as to what is likely to happen. He has no idea if he’ll get released within the next few months or if he’ll have to stick around until May 2017. His leaders aren’t very informed so therefore he is not informed. About anything.
This is causing horrible, horrible stress in our life. I’m fine and I know we will work everything out but Darling Husband… He already deals with anxiety and this situation has made him rather inconsolable. He isn’t sure what he wants to do after the army and he feels like he can’t start planning until he knows when he will be released. He might go back to school (he has two years completed, two more to go) but he isn’t sure what he would study. He might skip that and just apply for jobs but he isn’t sure what exactly he wants to do.
The difference in Darling Husband and I is – I can work in most settings and as long as I’m respected and making decent money, I’m okay. I don’t love my job but I make money and I love other aspects of my life so I’m happy. Darling Husband has to be emotionally fulfilled by his work or else he becomes depressed because he feels bored, like he isn’t make a difference, etc. I think because of this his anxiety has been out the roof, to the point that all he thinks about is what he’s going to do after the army. It dictates his mood in a negative way and I’m beginning to feel lost as to how to help. I’ve been very encouraging – I’ve reminded him that I’m working, we have money in savings and he has many opportunities. If he wants to go back to school, the GI bill will pay and he’ll also get a monthly allowance. If he wants to work, I’ll follow him basically anywhere and I’ll work there, too. I’ve suggested things he might be interested in and I’ve done endless research but it’s like nothing I say has a positive effect on him. He is so worried and utterly negative about the whole situation that I feel like he is becoming depressed.
This is hard for me to understand because I am a go-getter. I definitely worry and get anxious sometimes but I make a plan and get it done. I don’t know how to console Darling Husband and I feel like this will begin to have a negative effect on our marriage if he is constantly down and depressed during the next year. It also makes me really sad to see him so defeated when there are endless opportunities and this is a new beginning for him. He has been waiting to be released from the military so it is a good thing and I can’t understand why he feels so hopeless.
I guess I’m just at a loss. I suggested counseling so he made an appointment for tomorrow morning – but does anyone else have any words of widsom??