Husband gifted me a certificate but will not let me use it

posted 3 months ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
4756 posts
Honey bee

I wouldn’t ask him. If he’s at work I’d just go then TELL him you went and that you don’t need permission to leave your own damn house. Do not let ghis shit fly.  Quite frankly it’s concerning and seems controlling. 

Post # 17
Member
7865 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

supertrooper0101 :  

Because she works from home…

Op this sounds like it’s about more than the manicure. Are you ok with your husband laying down the law like this about the nanny?

Post # 18
Member
1439 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Stop asking your husband for permission. He’s not your father, he’s not your boss, he is your PARTNER. Make decisions together. Don’t let him dictate the rules to you.

Post # 19
Member
7442 posts
Busy Beekeeper

supertrooper0101 :  every parent I know that works from home is required to have childcare – if their employer finds out they don’t it’s grounds for termination. Also my husband grew up with a live-in nanny even though his mom didn’t work – different things work for different families. 

Post # 20
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee

This sounds like slavery, not a marriage.

Post # 21
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

The logics in this is not making sense. You work at home so you have a nanny to tend to your baby. It’s only two hours, cant the nanny keep tending to your baby? Or your husband?

The fact that you cant have two hours to yourself is frightening. 

 

Post # 22
Member
47175 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I got stopped at the thought of you asking permission from your husband to do anything. Either go when he’s at work, or tell him he is going to have to look after his child one day when he’s off work.

Post # 23
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Gotta agree with the pp’s bee plus the way you’ve put this rubs me the wrong way.  It really does sound like there’s a serious power imbalance there.  Why can’t you simply leave the baby with the nanny and do what you wanted to do?  Why are you afraid to use your voice?  Are you NOT an equal partner?

Either find a nanny he CAN trust or leave the babysitting duties to him and go for your spa day!

Post # 24
Member
4542 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Meh. Just take Baby and nanny along. Make it a nice day out. She/he can go for a walk with baby and you Have some nice pampering. Then tell him to f off if he has a problem with it.

Post # 25
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

I have a real problem with the idea of “asking your husband to watch the baby”.  How about he parents?  You can take two hours to go do your thing, and quite frankly, you shouldn’t need permission. 

Post # 26
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee

You have a husband and a nanny…I think that should cover it.

Post # 27
Member
6936 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why on earth do you employ a nanny that you can’t trust to watch your child without you being home? Your husband sounds like an ass and a control freak. Furthermore, why are you even asking his permission? That’s insane. You don’t need a different childcare option, you have one (the nanny). What you need is a new husband. 

Seriously OP I would tell your husband that if he isn’t ok with the nanny keeping your child alone than he needs to be available on X date at Y time because you have  nail appointment. And then I’d tell him that he needs to start the search for a nanny he trusts to watch your child alone.

Post # 28
Member
4482 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So all my issues with his perspective aside, maybe you can point out that this is a great trial run in case there is ever an emergency and you have to leave the baby with the nanny.

Post # 29
Member
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t understand. So, 1) your husband will never watch the baby, and 2) you are never allowed to leave the house without the baby.  Ummm, you sound like a prisoner?

Post # 30
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

Your husband sounds like a controlling person and honestly, I am really getting a creepy vibe from all of this. You should know, this sort of thing is not normal. 

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