(Closed) Husband giving me and his mom gifts on Valentine’s day

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes and no.  I don’t think you’re wrong to be upset that it’s the exact same gift, but getting upset for him giving his mom a Valentine’ Day present is a little unreasonable. 

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@abbie017:  I totally agree. It shows that it’s not a super thoughtful gift since he’s making duplicates, which sucks :(. However, it’s kind of cute that he’s getting her a V-day gift as long as he’s not otherwise super attached and creepy-clingy with his mom.

Post # 5
Member
4337 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs – it’s sweet that he gave his mom a gift, not cool that he got you both the same thing. 

Post # 6
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

Mine always gave all of us something for VD (me, his and mine). I loved that he was so thoughtful and never thought anything of it except to be grateful that his Mom raised such a nice guy.

Post # 7
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My parents still give all of us V-Day presents. Seriously, it’s obviously something that his family does so you probably should make a fuss about it. You shouldn’t be telling him to stop giving gifts to his mother… that’s not really your place.

Now… giving the exact same gift is a little sketch. I’d be annoyed by that too.

Post # 8
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s really sweet of him to get his mother a gift for Valentine’s day, but yeah I can understand being upset that he got her the same thing.  I guess you’re feeling like he didn’t put much thought into the gifts?

The thing that I need to constantly remind myself is that guys just don’t “get it” most of the time.  He probably just thought it was a really nice gift, so he didn’t think there was any reason why he couldn’t give it to both of the special women in his life.  He’s a man, so he didn’t think about how it would make you feel less special, or how it might come across as lazy.  He just thought “ooo, this is pretty.  I don’t like any of the other flowers as much as I like this one though, so what can I give mom?… oh yay they have two of this one!!”

On the bright side, you seem to have a very thoughtfull husband 🙂  I think I would die of shock if my boyfriend said “I think I’m going to get Mom a valentine’s day plant.”  Usually that’s the kind of think I tell him to do, lol.

Post # 9
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

My SO’s mom gave him a present the first couple years we were together. Thankfully she stopped. THAT was creepy. But I think your right he should be tailoring the gifts for his wife and his mother differently.

Post # 9
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

My SO’s mom gave him a present the first couple years we were together. Thankfully she stopped. THAT was creepy. But I think your right he should be tailoring the gifts for his wife and his mother differently.

Post # 10
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Rush1986:  Maybe I’m just one of those people that has a “creepy” relationship with her parents, so I don’t understand.  My dad sent me flowers this year, and my boyfriend thought it was cute.  Honestly, if my boyfriends mom gave him a big present every year, I wouldn’t think anything of it, I would just think that it’s nice that they are close.  I guess people just have different family traditions and sometimes it throws people off.

 

Post # 12
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My husband is a really nice son, but he doesn’t get his mom gifts anymore. I feel like once you get engaged and then married only your wife should receive gifts from you.

Maybe it’s just me though? You all seem okay with husbands giving their moms gifts. I see Valentines day as a romantic holiday celebrating love (and not family love).

Post # 13
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I dont think its creep or weird he gave his mom something. I think the way a son treats his mom is indicative how how he will treat you. 

I do think, however, that you should be kind but clear that you would like your gift to be different and his priority on vday. Not that he should forget his mom, but you are now his wife and should be #1. 

I called my parents to wish them a happy vday. Both our moms sent us stuff as a couple. As a gift for Vday. His Grandma sent us a card. To us it is a romantic holiday, but its also a holiday to show the ones you care that you love them. Its kind of like Xmas to me. Your SO deserves the majority of your focus and presents, but dont forget the other people who you care about.

Post # 14
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think it’s really sweet that your husband gives his mum a vday gift. To me, it shows that’s a man that loves you as much as he loves his mom: And keep in mind, she’s given him a heck of a lot… he loves you just as much as the woman that brought him into the world.

@lefeymw:  to say it again: the way he treats his mom is indicative of how he’ll treat you.

Sounds like you’ve got an awesome husband. Don’t turn this into a negative.

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