(Closed) Husband go laid off…having trouble keeping my chin up.

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I struggle with severe anxiety, and therapy in conjunction with the right medications can make you feel much better. I know there are varying stances on the medication side of things for anxiety, but I would not be myself without them. Please find a low-cost therapist (many are on sliding scales) and get into a program with a therapist. Take care of yourself first, anad then you can be a supportive partner for your husband. Catholic Charities offers low cost counseling services and they don’t have anything to do with being “catholic”, it’s just an outreach program. See if there is one in your area.

Post # 6
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LadyJDAG:  Good luck bee. Been in a similar situation, but you need to remember he is WAY MORE upset about this than you are– and he is not trying to show it. Knowing it will make the situation only worse.

It’s a shit economy. It took my Fiance more than 4 months to find a GREAT job that was worth taking. He took temp jobs in the mean time. 

Patience is a must, the liklihood of him finding a job that’s a worth-while job within weeks is asking too much. 

You can  be proactive now by looking into your own income and deciding how you can support the both of you. If that means making financial cuts, discuss where and how you’re going to make them together. Give him confidence that things will work out. Good luck.

Post # 8
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@LadyJDAG:  Thats good news. It will all be okay in the end. Both of you can take several retail part-time jobs or jobs in fast-food, etc. to stay afloat until your husband can get better work. My Fiance and I have been teaching full time and working on weekends at Lowe’s for the past 9 months. It has been a lifesaver for us. 

Post # 9
9089 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Unemployment isn’t a government hand out.  It’s an insurance policy he’s been paying into for his entire working life.

I admire his values, but I think he is misunderstanding this one.


Post # 12
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@LadyJDAG:  He better get over filing for unemployment real quick. It is not welfare or anything like that! We pay into that system! It’s a safety net and you use it if you need it. The problem is that unemployment is rarely even close to what you’d make at your job. However, you’re allowed to make up to half your unemployment amount in part-time work and still receive benefits. If he took a job waiting tables, too, he would always come in on paper way under that. Something to think about.

I suggest getting some medication, seriously. If you’re that debilitated by anxiety so as to keep you from working full-time, you really need it.

I think you are being entirely realistic, by the way. I’m looking for full-time work and it’s AWFUL. As in I sent out 40 resumes in the past week and a half and still feel like I’m not looking hard enough.

Post # 13
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

He sounds like he’s coping by being positive. I have anxiety too and I get worried about every little thing all the time…but you need to let him be positive for now. He’s going through something that’s hard for HIM and you’re being pretty harsh on him for how he needs to handle this…not harsh ON him exactly, but you don’t need to try to slap him with reality that he MIGHT now get a job. You don’t know that he won’t and he doesn’t need to go into it with the mindset that he won’t.

My SO has been unemployed twice since we lived together & 3 times since we’ve been dating. She’s a nurse & I guess it’s more common in that industry. It freaked me out 2 of the 3 times. The first didn’t affect me because we were still LDR but the 2nd was when we moved in together and the 3rd was very recently when I wasn’t working at all. This last time I went into proactive mode and got a job myself even though I hadn’t been planning on working until after I graduate. It was scary but she was more scared than I was and I had to back off a bit and let her process in her own way.

It IS going to be okay, he may have no choice but to accept unemployment for a while. If he’s embarassed by it, it could be motivation to get a job faster. I really hope everything works out well for you.

Post # 14
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@LadyJDAG:  omg seriously? That is what those programs are there for. Everyone pays into the system. If you’re cheating the system that’s one thing, but if you’re working hard to find new work/get better etc. then that is what they are there for. It seems like he has his head in the sand. I agree with a PP about medication for now if it’s preventing you from working full time. Also, I’m so sorry about your brother. I can’t imagine.

Post # 15
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aw I’m sorry hun but it WILL be okay I promise! Darling Husband is on his second round of unemployment in the past 2 years and its frustrating! But you arrnt alone the economy sucks for everyone! Even the most successful of us.  

TRy to relax and take each day as it comes. Your Darling Husband needs your love and support just as much as you need his. Some days are good some days are bad. TAKE the unemployment – yes it’s embarrassing at first but you as a taxpayer have been paying into the system so you deserve to get some out now. It will make things less stressful. No one even knows they give you a debit card no big deal. It’s a pride thing though trust me I get it.

be supportive it can be hard but you have got to trust your Darling Husband to get through this with your help. Good luck!! It’s not as bad as it seems once you come to terms with it and the shock wears off.

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