(Closed) Husband going on trip with a friend advice…

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@missjewels:  I think this seems like a win-win! My husband and I sometimes travel without each other for various reasons, and while not ideal we are still grateful for any opportunity to travel. Maybe he will feel less guilty if you show him all the things you plan to do while he’s gone, like movie nights with friends or a staycation.

Post # 4
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I’d be okay with him going.  I’d miss him, but I’d want him to have a great time.  I wouldn’t want him to stay home and feel upset with me for not letting him take this trip.  It’s okay if you feel a little jealous or uneasy – I think that’s normal.  But the important thing is to make sure you encourage him to do the things he loves (so long as it’s within budget, right? 🙂 )

I think you handled this the right way.

Post # 5
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@missjewels:  my husband gets 7 weeks of paid vacation a year, and is required to take two consecutive weeks a year. I get 19 total days of PTO and could never take two weeks off of my job.  As such, he travels without me every year- last year, he went on a roadtrip to SxSW, and the year before he took a three-week trip to south africa. Not sure what his plan is this year, but I think it’ll be west-coast somewhere.


Am I jealous? YES. But of course I want him to go!  The alternative is him sitting here at home alone for two weeks, and thats a shitty way to spend your vacation time.  More than anything, I worry about him when he’s traveling (he rides a moto and usually takes one on his trips) but i think it’s good for us to be independent of eachother. I took a family vacation last summer without him for a week, and I think he enjoyed having the apt all to himself!

Post # 6
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@missjewels:  I really think you’re plan for traveling with your mom in two years is a great compromise! It gives both of you something to look forward to and allows both of you the freedom to travel somewhere you want to go.

Post # 7
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would absolutely be fine with him going because I wouldn’t want to hold him back from experiencing Thailand if that’s what he really wanted. I think the plan you guys have sounds like the perfect compromise.

Post # 8
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Experiences like this dont always come along not would be selfish to have him stay home if he wants to go. Especially if you have no desire to. 

Post # 9
8392 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

As long as you’re comfortable with the friend I would let him go. I’m going with my mom to Norway this summer and I feel totally weird about leaving Darling Husband at home, but he wants me to go. If we TTC any time in the near future it will probably be the last time I go to europe for a long while.

Post # 10
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@missjewels:  I think if you honestly don’t mind him going without you, and you can afford it, he should go! He will feel bad but will love you more for being so cool about it.

There is something beautiful about missing someone when they go away; something special about the anticipation you feel when you’re just about to see them again…! Plus you have some time to yourself – being with your loved ones all the time is awesome and a blessing, but it’ll do you good to take some time for yourselve, even if it is at home. I say why not 🙂

And I’ve been to Thailand, it was awesome. They’ll have a great time!

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