- 8 months ago
Second time posting because first time was marked as spam???
Reg Bee going anon for this because I really have no idea what to do. Sorry I tried to make this as short as possible without missing any important details.
Been married for almost 2 years and been with my Darling Husband for a total of 7 years.
Darling Husband has a lot of female friends. Some he has had since childhood. Sometimes he will meet them for lunch or happy hours alone. When we first started dating I thought it was weird and it took some time for me to get used to. But he introduced me to all of them and some of them have become my really good friends as well. I didn’t want him to change his friendships because he was dating me and I trust him.
Fast forward to now. I have a job that requires me to travel for 2 weeks at a time every 4-6 weeks. So I spend a lot of time away from home. Darling Husband and I became really good friends with another married couple. I will call them Katie and Ken. We hang out with them 2-3 times a week, It has been refreshing to meet another couple who likes to do the same things we do. We have vacationed with them and we have a group text. Sometimes Katie will invite other friends to hang out with us which I typically never have an issue with.
Last year I was working in DC and my husband came to spend the weekend with me. Ken and Katie were also in town to visit family. Katie’s friend Camille also was in town. Camille’s Boyfriend or Best Friend was supposed to come but he flaked last minute. So when Ken and Katie were busy with family things, they asked if my husband and I could hang out with Camille so she wouldn’t be alone. We hung out with her both Friday and Saturday before we all met up to hang out Saturday night. Camille was cool but I’m still getting to know her. One thing I didn’t like and this may make me seem old fashioned lol is that she wasn’t a wearing bra all weekend. I could see her nipples were pierced through her shirts. And I’m sure Darling Husband noticed too.
Darling Husband and Camille were on the same flight back home. When I called to check in with him when he landed and asked him what the rest of his plans were for the day he said that he was going to meet up and have lunch with Camille. This made me uncomfortable. I told him he could go but I thought he was doing too much. We just spent the entire weekend with her. Going out to lunch alone with her may be sending her the wrong message. This turned into a major fight. Darling Husband was upset but agreed he wouldn’t invite her alone again.
Katie and Camille had a falling out right after DC so we hadn’t seen her in months. Katie had also shared with me that Camille had a history of dating and sleeping with married men that she heard from another mutual friend. Yes this was hearsay, but it didn’t make me comfortable around her.
Fast forward to this past weekend .They finally reconciled so Katie has been inviting her out around us more. I am away on another two week trip right now. On Friday night the four of them, Ken, Katie, Camille and Darling Husband, all hung out. Darling Husband didn’t get home until 2 in the morning. I know because we have a smart garage door opener so I get notified when the door opens. I spoke to Darling Husband the next morning and he told me that he had plans to hang out with all of them again on Sat night. I mentioned “That’s a lot of Camille…” but he brushed it off. I really didn’t want to start a fight with him while I was out of town. So I let it go.
I reached out to Katie. I asked her to not invite Camille out everyday when I am out of town. It makes me uncomfortable to know that you guys are still keeping this double date dynamic when I am away. She agreed and saw where I was coming from but said that they already had plans for Sat night. I wake up Sunday morning seeing my husband came home at 3am this time. I was livid but calmed down because I didn’t want to fight.
I call him Sunday morning and asked how his night was. He said it was good and they all have plans to go to the movies during the day. (to see a movie I wanted to see!) I lost it. We had a huge fight and basically he told me I was being unsecure and he doesn’t want to feel “restricted”. He said I am only getting mad because Camille is pretty. He also says that I should trust him and he feels like I am accusing him of cheating. Which I was not. I just don’t like the idea of him hanging out with this woman on a daily basis.
My husband has plenty of female friends who are attractive who I do not have an issue with. Camille just rubs me the wrong way. I can’t really explain it fully, I just don’t like it. And yes, knowing she has slept (allegedly) with married men makes it worse. And yes, she is very attractive. She is a nice girl and has attempted to hang out with me alone but I just can’t shake the feeling.
We didn’t talk the rest of the day. He went to the movies and I saw that he removed my access to the garage notifications. He said he didn’t want to feel “spied on”.
He really made me feel like shit. Was I in the wrong? Am I being insecure? Is he gaslighting me?
Today I woke up mad at everyone. I am #1 mad at Darling Husband for dismissing my feelings and seeing nothing wrong with this scenario. I am also mad at Katie for constantly invited her friend around my husband when I am out of town and for them going out again after she said she would not. She can reconcile her friendship with Camille but that doesn’t have to involve my husband. I left the groupchat with all of them today.
For lack of a better term…Am I buggin? I am at a loss here.
I don’t see Darling Husband until Friday. And we won’t be at home. We are meeting at his mother’s house to celebrate her bday this weekend. So we will be with in-laws until we return home next Monday night.