- 3 months ago
I have been on the fence on whether or not I should provide an update. Things aren’t good.
I am traveling again for another work trip.
A lot has happened since my last update. I will try to keep things short.
Darling Husband and I had been kind of better. As in we were avoiding talking about any real issues. We at least were no longer fighting. We never made it to counseling. Of course DHs schedule never worked out to meet a therapist but he still made time to hang out with Ken and Katie from time to time.
I decided to go visit my parents for a few days because I wanted to get away. The night I left was Kens birthday dinner. Darling Husband was going. I also knew that Camille would be there. He texted me throughout the night and when he got home. This was a Wednesday night.
That Friday while I was enjoying a movie night with my parents I texted Darling Husband to see what his plans were for the night. He said he was at this happy hour event that was hosted by a couple of our mutual friends lets call them Lee and Andrew. When I asked Darling Husband who was there with him he said he was there to see Lee and Andrew and that Camille “happened” to be there. First off, although my husband is friendly with Andrew and Lee, I have never known them to actually make plans or hang out. I wasn’t buying this story for one second. Obviously he saw Camille at Kens birthday and they made plans to meet. I didn’t want to confront him while I was away. But I went to Instagram and stalked every story posted from that event that night (I know pathetic). I saw she was there and Darling Husband was too. But nothing of them together. I could actually see Darling Husband with Andrew and Lee. I really started to question myself thinking I was making something out of nothing. Was I crazy? SO I left it at that.
The following week when I was home. Darling Husband was doing laundry and showed me his receipt from Friday night out of one of his pant pockets. He showed me how expensive the bill was. Said he had to buy a round for the group. He mentioned that Camille was part of the group. (Of course) So I asked him point blank. Did you make plans to meet with her that night? He said no. And I asked him if they still text and he said no. I asked when the last time he texted her and he said months ago.
Later that night Darling Husband fell asleep on my lap. Bees I haven’t searched through his phone in years. Partly because I don’t know how and also because I didn’t have a desire to. Well his apple watch was unlocked. He was out cold. So I went through his texts. And as I expected he started texting her the moment he dropped me off at the airport the night of Kens party. He asked her if she was going and she said “Its just you right? Lol”. And he said “Yes I just dropped her off at the airport”. They texted for days. And just as I predicted on Friday morning she texted him seeing if he was available for a happy hour that night and “he didn’t have to come if he wasn’t comfortable” (because she knows how I feel about her!). I am sick just thinking about it. (Also it was me who posted on Friday night about confronting the other woman. I deleted my post because I was embarrassed)
When I confronted Darling Husband he immediately went into defense mode telling me nothing happened. She is just a friend. I kept calling him a liar and asking him if he is having an affair. He swears up and down that they are not. He apologized for lying.
Yesterday he told me that he had a lot of work to get done and that he was going to Starbucks to work for a few hours. I decided to give him his space and handle some things I needed to do. He said he wanted to take me out to dinner later that night since I was leaving the next day for my work trip. I thought it was a nice gesture since I was still pissed with him. And I thought is was his way of trying to make things better. The restaurant was in the same town as the Starbucks he was working in. So I was going to meet him there. I had called him a few times and texted him throughout the day but he wasn’t responsive. When he did get back to me he said he was “working on some deliverables”. As I was about to leave to my surprise he shows up at the house. When he walked in the door it was clear he had a few drinks.
I asked him where he just came from because I thought he was at Starbucks. He said he left Starbucks and went to Fridays (on the other side of town btw) to have some drinks. I asked with whom because clearly he was with people. And he said alone. Again, I didn’t believe him for a second. On our way to dinner (I drove), I asked him again repeatedly if he was with people and/or Camille. He said he was not. He looked me dead in my eye. When we got back home he said that he is miserable and that I drive him to drink and other horrible things.
Today I just said Fuck it. I contacted Camille. I asked her why she feels its ok to message a married man and never to contact him again. She responded saying that she respects me and nothing inappropriate has ever happened between them and she did meet him for drinks last night with the group in case I wasn’t aware. She said she would respect my wishes and delete his number. And I should be contacting Darling Husband, not her. I forwarded Darling Husband the text and told him I am done.
He responded saying that I “just killed this marriage” , “Your crazy”. “I lied because you forced me too” and other gaslighting favorites. He doesn’t seem remorseful at all. He still claims that their relationship is platonic. And I am “Acting like he cheated”
I think this is it for me Bees. I was willing to work through our issues but I can’t deal with the dishonesty and deceit. Its time for next steps. These past couple of months have taken a toll on me. I have gotten kicked out of a bar, stalked Instagram stories of strangers to see what my husband was up to, snooped through his phone, and I messaged the other woman. I actually look insane. At first I just wanted him to acknowledge my feelings and be more mindful about his interactions with other women. Now he is lying and meeting up with Camille behind my back and possibly having an affair. I don’t believe a word he or she says. And honestly what am I even fighting for anymore? This marriage is over.