Husband hanging out with other women while I am out of town…

posted 5 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 422
420 posts
Helper bee

Big breath bee, he knows, you know, they know that they do not have to have been sleeping together for any of this behaviour to be innapropriate or hurtful.


Boundaries are boundaries and they are indiviual to each of us, but MUST be respected by others. Especially those who love us.


Just be glad to rid your life of all this stress, drama and BS. It might be a slow road, but it’s coming, and it will be a big fresh breath of air. I’m excited for you.

Post # 423
2621 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

So I was right- you really did post on that duplicate account a few days ago. Story is identical.

Post # 424
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Sorry to hear this Bee. His behaviour has been appalling and even if they weren’t physically intimate, he definitely betrayed you. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Strength for the road ahead. 

Post # 425
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I need you to understand one thing bee.   You didn’t drive him to do jack shit!  HE decided to behave in an inapropriate, disrespectful manner and lost your trust and respect.  You’d think after past behaviors he’d have learned his lesson but NOOOOOO!  He was cheating “emotionally” at best.  So him dropping fault at your feet when he started this train wreck is complete and total bullshit! He obviously isn’t the type to take responsibility for his own actions… should know what to expect from him at this point…keep you expectations very low.

I am so sorry this is happening to you.  I wish so much that we were all wrong. Please take some time to be kind to yourself. You should probably take some time off work as well. Get yourself to that therapist bee so you can start your healing.

When yoy start attacking yourself over this is want you to Always remember this… takes 2 to make or break a marriage.   None of this is 100% your fault okay?  

Many hugs OP.

Post # 426
6314 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry, Bee. I hope you can find time to pursue counseling on your own. 

You did not force him to lie. Take care of yourself. 

Post # 427
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Op you really need to start going to AA or Al Anon, even if you aren’t an alcoholic, all your posts, every single one involve you and your soon to be ex drinking and making bad decisions.

It’s one thing to go out and have a social life but you both seem to be barflys…stop drinking and focus on you and your future and your art!

Post # 428
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

fiver :  I do agree with what you’ve said. It does sound like OP has stopped drinking, so may just be worth discussing in counseling first. 

anon32519 :  I am so sorry that your husband has been betraying you and then tried to gaslight you as if this was in any way your fault. Interesting comments from Camille about how you should be talking to your husband. I do agree with this, but it isn’t as if Camille doesn’t know you exist! She doesn’t owe you anything like your husband does though. I suppose. 


I really do hope that you can get the space from your husband that you need and can follow through with this divorce and focus on yourself. And I hope that Katie and Ken are out of the picture as well as they are clearly terrible friends for encouraging this (don’t misunderstand. Your husband is 10000% to blame for actually straying). It sounds like you have a lot of other amazing things going for you and once you can get past this, you will be able to find someone who really appreciates you.

Post # 429
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m so sorry to hear this update. I’m proud of you for being so strong. You will get through this, and you will be better off without him!! ❤️❤️

Post # 430
224 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry this is happening, but I’m not surprised.  This guy is completely obsessed with Camille and at the very least moving towards cheating, and I’m pretty sure he’s already done it.  You deserve so much better!!  Stop hanging out with toxic people who drink constantly or you’ll just attract more of the same.

Post # 432
1050 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

anon32519 :  Ughhh I’m sorry, bee. Time to let this loser go. I’d bet my left tit that he and Camille will become an item shortly after you separate, maintaining that things were totally platonic up until that point (yeah right). Then she’ll be his problem and can ruin her life instead of yours.

Lawyer up, get some counseling. Take care of yourself, bee!

Post # 433
9662 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

He and Camille are screwing but you already know that.

There isn’t any coming back from this – I’m glad you’ve decided to leave because you deserve better. I also guarantee that if you separate it will only be a matter of time before your husband and Camille are publically an item – then you’ll really know the truth. 

Post # 434
93 posts
Worker bee

anon32519 :  Ive been following your posts, I just want to say I am so sorry you had to/are going through this. You did not drive him to do anything and you are NOT insane, I would have behaved identically in this situation.

Your husbvand crossed every line possible even after you gave him many chances to be honest, to not cross a boundry, to make this better etc… he  was set on doing what he was going to do with Camile and I dont think there is anything anyone could have done for a different result.

He is a piece of shit and I promise you will move on and find an amazing real man who would never make you question his trust or loyalty.

Good for you for being a strong woman and walking away, that’s not easy and many women would not be able to be this strong and brave.

Good luck on your art shows I wish you all the success and take it day by day. It WILL get better and you WILL move on and be happy and loved.

Surround yourself with real friends and family, all the best.


Post # 435
3665 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I’m so sorry to hear this update OP. When I caught my ex cheating, i found emails from multiple women confirming they were in an ongoing relationship. I presented those emails to him and he STILL denied it. Shady men are going to stand behind their lies because it’s what they know and what they’re good at. He likely will never tell you the truth, my ex finally admitted it because he had no choice, but I never did get the full truth. 

You KNOW he lied, snuck around, dishonored you and did the things you specifically asked him not to. YOU didn’t ruin this marriage. Your requests were not way off base; you asked for him to not pursue a relationship with another woman & respect your feelings about their dynamic. That is not an outrageous request and anyone with honorable intentions would happily oblige to make their wife comfortable. YOU DID NOT BREAK THIS. I totally understand how these situations make you do things out of character. Hell I was researching tracking devices for ex’s vehicle… Don’t be too hard on yourself!

Congratulations on your art shows!! You are doing awesome work to better yourself and you should be really proud!

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