Husband hanging out with other women while I am out of town…

posted 6 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 451
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

Camille and OP’s husband definitely deserve each other, but she probably won’t even want him now that he’s gone from forbidden fruit to just another aging frat boy with a pending divorce. Not appealing. 

Or maybe she will stick it out with him for a bit. And never trust him because a mistress always knows how untrustworthy he is because of the way they started out. 

Either way, OP will be living her best life and rocking the art scene and will be too busy to follow their pathetic drama. 

Post # 452
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Congratulations OP! I’m glad you’re free.

I agree with PPs about not confronting the other person. If Camille wanted your husband, she could have had him. Based on this whole saga, I think it’s likely that Camille was the person who declined to sleep with your husband. He was willing to risk his entire marriage and put you through hell for her “friendship”. Do we really think he was the person who set boundaries?  Camille might enjoy playing with your husband like a cat plays with a mouse, but I doubt she was playing for keeps.

Post # 453
Member
2772 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I wish you much strength in following through with totally moving on from this lying,  gaslighting, disrespectful, cheating douche canoe.  

Post # 455
Member
6099 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

anon32519 :  OP – the best part of this entire saga is that you found your “OH HELL NO” deal breaker boundary and your dumbass husband crossed it and now you get to be free of him. He did not take responsibility for his actions at all through this entire saga and the next woman who ends up with him will be putting up with his same old bullshit (but it will be even more pathetic because he’s just going to keep getting older and more toxic).

Hopefully, you will never need to get to this place again in another relationship and the work you are currently doing on yourself will allow you to heal and really own your side of this relationship so that you are a better partner in the next one and your standards are higher the next go round.

I’m glad that you are focusing on your art and you have a therapist and a coach- those things (plus continuing to work on yourself and your own growth and development) will do so much to serve you in the coming weeks and months.

Nothing you do, moving forward, should be based on that POS, obviously, but I would definitely make it my priority to succeed at my art and my life and to be looking my flyest, most radiant and HAPPIEST self for any future potential run ins with him (until my life felt so good that I wasn’t focused on pushing away from him so much as moving toward the things I’ve built that I love and which nourish and fulfill me).

Your ex is an energy vampire and a black hole with a drinking problem. You are well quit of him.

Congratulations! I’d also set a plan for a healing and transformative year and then plan a divorce party (or some other kind of celebration) at the end of it.

Post # 457
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee

I’m SO sorry it all went down like this, OP.

I know you must be hurting badly right now, but please see this as a lesson that YOU WERE NOT CRAZY. Your gut was telling you something was off and you were right about him.

He is a piece of trash, who all on his own, will ruin his life. He is an attention-seeking narcissist with a drinking problem and the emotional maturity of a teaspoon who stupidly fell for the charns of a temptress (who was probably just using him for an ego boost and purely for her own amusement) to the point that he was wiling to ruin his marriage to the best thing that ever happened to him.

Do not be embarrassed about the past, bee. You took some actions in a desperate situation that may not have been the best, but do not let that define you. 

It is obvious in your updates that you are miles ahead of him with your self-actualization and your healing. I bet in time you will look back and realize you have outgrown him and you will find his frat-boy immaturity to be a huge turnoff.

I hope you can reach out to some friends or family for some support. Perhaps you could treat yourself to a nice vacation.

And if you haven’t already, for your own sanity, block Katie’s #. Do not engage with that toxic group anymore. Do not give them the satisfaction. And speak with your POS husband through a lawyer only going forward.

Stay strong, bee. You WILL be okay in the end.

Post # 457
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Work was boring today so I was like “what the hell lemme just read this entire 31-page thread”

This story is just bloody sad. I’m so sorry, OP. You deserve so much better than this, but I think you know that now. Time to take a deep breath and take care of yourself now. You will be okay. 

Post # 458
Member
1978 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

they are both horrible people. You deserve better and you will find someone who treats you so much better then him and puts you first. 

 

i had mutual friends who were married and had a similar situation. The so called “friend” turned out much more then that. They divorced and guess what, the so called friend had zero desire to actually date the person once they were divorced…. karma can be a B****

Post # 459
Member
383 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry, bee. I’m wishing you courage as you move forward and away from this horrible situation. Good for you for trusting your gut and being strong enough to leave. I left a cheating man (who also gaslight me similarly, and I certainly did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of in my paranoia and despair) and my life has been the better for it, now that I’m years out of that situation and can look back on it with more perspective and maturity. It really does get better.

Post # 460
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee

anon32519 :  Oh honey, I actually teared up reading your latest updates. Although I knew with almost 100% degree of certainty that your suspicions were accurate, I was so hoping I was wrong. Honestly, my heart breaks for you.

But bravo!!! Good riddance to bad rubbish. He has treated you like garbage and disrespected you as a spouse, a friend, and even just as a fellow human. I know that it isn’t easy to walk away from someone to whom you gave your whole heart and swore to love, honor and cherish. I really do. But you are an amazing person, with a well of strength so deep that you will surprise even yourself. You can do this, you will do this, and the world is truly your oyster now!   I wish you all of the best in your wonderful life ahead. 

Post # 461
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

anon32519 :  just wondering how you are doing Bee?

Post # 462
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.  Women should ALWAYS trust their instincts!

Post # 463
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Stay strong. You got this. You are an inspiration and a strong woman. Thank you for all your updates and I wish you the best of luck!!

Post # 464
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

I just got through ALL of this- DAMN. One thing I have learned on these boards is to trust your gut. How are you doing now? I NEEEEED an update!

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