(Closed) Husband hanging with female friend alone?

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Husband tells you he is meeting his friend Anna for lunch. What do you say?
    "Hahahahahahahaha no" : (53 votes)
    17 %
    "Ok honey, have fun" : (175 votes)
    55 %
    "Anna better be a man, or we have a problem" : (22 votes)
    7 %
    **DEATH STARE** : (17 votes)
    5 %
    "I would feel better if I came along" : (26 votes)
    8 %
    Other : (23 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 76
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    valentine2016:  my Darling Husband is more of a guy’s guy…the only female friends he associates with are his friends girlfriends who are brought out to our group events. so it would strike me a little weird if he would want to have lunch with a girl all of a sudden, as i know he doesn’t have his own female friends. 

    on the other hand, Darling Husband is fine with me going out with my guy friends. he knows all of them and that we have a shared history. i find now that we’re married though, we tend to do things together with couples anyway rather than separately.

    Post # 77
    1610 posts
    Bumble bee

    valentine2016:  Well I have male friends and he has female friends and we don’t expect the other to be around when they hang out. I trust him to not have anything happen and to be honest with me, as I am with him.

    However, I would feel uncomfortable if he was hanging out alone with a woman who has expressively shown to want to be with him. For obvious reasons! And then I would hope he would respect my feelings on it. Though I am not one to tell him what to do, we are a partnership-not me bossing him around.

    Post # 78
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I don’t have any close male friends and he doesn’t have any close female friends. We prefer it that way, because it doesn’t leave room for questions or overthinking. It would be weird if he wanted to suddenly have lunch with a woman. That is an absolute no. 

    Post # 79
    3114 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    Lunch with a female friend is really not a big deal to me unless maybe they have some kind of history or she has expressed romantic interest in him, in which case I would have some follow up questions in regards to the reason for the lunch and if he really thought it was a good idea. I trust him and honestly I can’t imagine him ever engaging in an inappropriate situation.

    Post # 80
    889 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I wouldn’t think twice about it. 

    valentine2016:  What do you mean this is a cultural issue? 

    Post # 81
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Meeting an opposite sex friend for lunch, purely for social reasons? That’s called a date. I wouldn’t try it and neither would he.

    Post # 82
    1204 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

    valentine2016:  im ok with it. My husband has one close friend he has had since college; she was his groomsmaid too at our wedding. Shes also been with her husband since high school. those two are good buds.

    my friends tend to be males too; one was my man of honor And we have been friends since high school. I hang with him and we have a mutual respect for each other and our significant others. 

    I guess we just trust each other and i know as much as he knows IF we were to cross the line, it wouldnt be with them lol.

    Post # 84
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2017 - Northern Territory, Australia

    I voted other because it depends on who the woman is, if they are alone in a room with only them or alone in a crowded room etc. 

    Generally I am pretty easy. But if I feel there is a need for concern then I will voice it. 

    Post # 85
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    It really depends on the woman and my feelings towards her.Majority of the time I’m all for it,but there are a few womenhe knows he can’t be alone with.I trust him but don’t trust certain women.

    Post # 86
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Half my husband’s friends are women he’s known since uni days, I know them too and we all meet up as a group when everyone’s about. So I’d have no problem with him meeting them (that and nearly everyone’s married now anyway).

    Post # 87
    969 posts
    Busy bee

    Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  Not cool.  Not okay.  Not right.

    But you’re right, it has nothing to do with control or trust or whatever negative spin other people try to put on it.  It’s a respect thing, and in your case, a cultural thing, too.

    No matter the reasonsing, if one spouse isn’t okay with it, then the other should respect that.

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