Husband in business class while I'm in economy?

posted 3 months ago in Travel
  • poll: What would you do if hubby flies business but you can only afford economy?
    Sit in economy while he sits in business : (40 votes)
    17 %
    Ask him to sit in economy with you : (64 votes)
    27 %
    Ask him to pay for your upgrade : (77 votes)
    32 %
    Other : (57 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    1225 posts
    Bumble bee

    We have never done long haul flights. Only few hours. We dont want to pay extra to reserve the seats therefore we usually dont sit together.

    My brother and his wife recently went for a long flight to Australia. He was offered a free upgrade and he didn’t take it since he was with his wife. His wife fell aslpee within 5 minutes and woke up when the plane landed in the layover. He did say that at that point he was really wondering if it would really have been that bad to sit the business class since he is a bug guy and can’t sleep of planes.

    I think this is one of those things that can go either way. I wouldn’t be particularly happy if my partner booked a business class ticket but then again I don’t want to spend that money so it would be unfair for me to stop him. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    1762 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    what happened to our money?!!!!

    Post # 18
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Haha OMG if my husband sat in business while I schlepped it down in economy it would be grounds for divorce. That is so selfish and inconsiderate i can’t believe you’re ok with it. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    550 posts
    Busy bee

    Wouldn’t bug me. My husband is a hard worker too, I could suck it up and make him comfortable for a measly 24 hours instead of making him work. I’d consider it my “work”. I barely speak on an airplane as it is, I take sleeping pills and watch movie after movie. I’m sure he could walk down to check on me etc. We live in Australia, very few international holidays are ever short flights. I’ve flown solo more times than I care to count. While together we’ve had an occasion when I have been offered an upgrade and I’ve taken it at his insistence. All our finances are shared, but that’s not entirely the point here, its about who is willing to put the other above themselves. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    5001 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    In theory I would think this isn’t fair but I think it becomes less obvious when you say he would have to pick up extra shifts for both tickets. Is there a reason you can’t split the extra work so you are both working towards the tickets? How tall is he? It’s also hard to tell if this would be mild discomfort or an actual need. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Fh is a big guy so I understand. Of course I would love us to sit together in business class but if we couldn’t afford two seats then of course I would sit in economy. We’re on the same plane going to the same place I don’t have to be next to him. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    My husband is european, so most of our vacations require an overnight flight from Canada.  We usually travel with our two children.  My husband is a tall guy.  On the flight there, we always book an upgraded seat for him so he can sleep.  Since he’s the one that does the driving when we arrive at our destination, it only makes sense that he is well rested when we land.  Its a very practical approach.

    Even without the kids, I’m ok to sit in economy by myself…I’m a grown up and I do things without him attached to my hip all the time. That extra savings from our seats goes back into the vacation!  That said, the return flight is during the day and we always get seats together.

    I recall one vacation south where the plane was full an we were unable to get seats together.  My ticket was upgraded to a higher class seat.  We traded.  I’m 5′ 4″, he’s over 6 feet.  It makes sense!

    Also, our finances are totally separate, with the exception of the holiday account.  We contribute equally and share it equally–but that doesn’t mean that we spend in ways that don’t make financial sense.

    Post # 23
    Member
    14891 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    How tall is he?? My husband is 6’3 and we would never do this.  My Brother-In-Law is 6’8″ and never does this.  1. There’s no separation of money for us, so this would never happen. 2. Neither of us would ever pay for business class on our own dime anyways.  It’s just not worth it to us even though we can easily afford it. 3. We wouldn’t want to sit apart anyways. 

    Actually, we did do this once.  He went on a business trip to Dubai and his company paid for business class.  I tagged along on our own dime, so I bought economy tickets.  I wasn’t going to pay for business class, and wouldn’t ask him to give up free business class tickets.  (Turned out my seat was better anyways, there was a 2 yr old up there that literally screamed non stop for the 6 hr leg to London)

    Post # 24
    Member
    564 posts
    Busy bee

    kc4thbee :  I would be completely fine with the situation you describe- its a joint decision based on practicality and you’re also mindful that he needs to be well rested to be the family driver once you land. 

    But in the situation OP describes- it’s not the fact that’s she’s flying in economy that bothers me, it’s her husband’s attitude. It always seems unsettling when two people in a relaitonship have a disparity in lifestyles. Regardless of how a couple handles their finances (separate, shared or a combination of both shared and separate), one person should not be okay with being better off than their partner. He seems perfectly happily selfish to splurge on himself while OP makes do and that is a really off-putting attitude. 

    I’m also wondering, if OP works less hours if she’s doing the bigger share of unpaid work around the house as well as the very under-valued ’emotional labour’. 

    I do have to say though OP, your ‘I may have to ask him to work a few more hours’ rubs me the wrong way. He’s being selfish and unfair, but your own solution shouldn’t be to put the burden on him. The two of you should re-work your existing budget to make things more fair. Maybe you guys could save up for an upgrade with fewer evenings out or cutting back in other areas. A pooled savings jar/ account toward vacations? 

    Also, for your own well-being and independence, don’t sound so helpless that your only solutions involve you sucking up an unfair situation or him doing something about it. His selfishness is definitely an issue but you also need to look at your own financial picture and try to better it, I wouldn’t advise any woman to rely on a man to support her, you never know what the future holds. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    2374 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My fiancé would pay to upgrade me if I couldn’t afford it or he would sit with me.

    Post # 26
    Member
    11647 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    My husband is much taller and for years made much more money than me. On the rare occasions he was offered a last minute upgrade, he always insisted I take it. Once, when he really needed to rest and work, I insisted he keep it. If we were with our children, neither of us took it.  It was never, ever about who made more money. 

    While planning ahead, either both would fly business, adding one for me if necessary, or both economy. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee

    bougainvillea :  I sit in economy with our children while Darling Husband flies Business all the time.  Personally, I don’t believe in bringing young children in First or Business because it stressses me out more.  My children are great fliers, they have traveled extensively since they were vaccinated, we go overseas 3-4 times a year but people pay a premium to be in First or Business and I respect that.  So, I sit in economy with the kids and all their shiz – car seats, toys, snacks, and Darling Husband flies business or first.  When we get to the destination, he takes over primary care of the kids the first 24 hours while I get to do something indulgent for myself – shop or spa.  I love playing the euro conversion rate and VAT refund and have significant European shoe and purse collections, it’s my hobby.  It works for us, but we have both agreed to it and are comfortable with it.  If it makes you mad to not sit together, then talk to him about it.  Do whatever works for both of you.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

    I’d be fine with it. Economy can be really uncomfortable for tall people on long haul. I assume you’ve got a lot of air miles now so couldn’t you upgrade to premium economy for a bit more comfort? 

    We get to fly business class but I honestly don’t spend much time chatting to my D.H on a long haul flight. 

    As a family we used to fly standby a lot because my dad worked for an airline and we did rock paper scissors for the business or first seats but we are all 5’11 and under.

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