- 3 months ago
Any man who puts his comfort first is a tool.
Any man who puts his comfort first is a tool.
bougainvillea : wait, you work way fewer hours while bringing home a fraction of the money and he has to pay for a house cleaner? I think you’d feel a whole lot less guilty about having access to 50% of the joint assets and income if you actually fully pulled your weight. Which means that you use whatever time you aren’t at work to pick up the slack everywhere else for the two of you as a couple. This can be housework, or childcare, or errands, etc. It’s the reason stay at home parents are viewed as being equal contributors. You should really consider whether you are an equal contributor of effort to the building of your life together (in all ways not just financial) and if you are, then you wouldn’t feel any guilt requesting that he pay for the upgrade for you as well. If you are not, then you can look at him getting this luxury and not you as a small way of balancing the scales.
How tall is your husband???
My husband is 6’7. Economy is tough for him on long haul so when we can we pay for extra legroom seats.
once he was on premium economy while I was in economy ( I tagged along on his business trip so his work has booked his seat) on that flight he swapped seats with the man sat next to me.
My husband would never do this. He’s 6’2. If anything, compromise and buy the seats at the front of economy with all the leg room. Flying isn’t comfortable gor anyone.
bougainvillea : Well, there you go. You work far less hours, and he’s paying for a cleaner. Let the cleaner go, use your extra hours to keep the house clean, and use the money spent there, combined with you taking on some more hours, to pay for your upgrade. It doesn’t matter if he’s more passionate about his work, or if you make a fraction of wht he does, he still shouldn’t have to work OT on top of the massive amounts of hours he already works, for you to be able to fly business. And housework should be divided unevenly right now, because work hours are uneven.
I wouldn’t mind. Especially if it meant he’d be super well rested and in a great mood when we land.
It’s nice having him next to me, but we mainly just do our own work/watch our own things (sometimes we’ll watch a movie together).
If we were traveling with our baby though, then hells no. I’d need his help, LO gets separation anxiety from daddy.
This is so strange. It’s one thing if you offered for his sake, but the fact that he’s insisting on it makes for a very odd dynamic in a marriage.
I make less than my husband now but for years I was the higher earner, that doesn’t mean we treat each other any differently.
Can you buy economy tickets and then upgrade to the extra legroom seating? Kind of a compromise and it would still be cheaper than one business class ticket.
Yeah, I don’t think I would be ok with it how it is presented. My FH travels for work and racks up lots of points and often gets upgrades to business class. I’ve thought about it and I would be ok if he took an upgrade even if I could not get the same upgrade. He’s used his points so we could both get in first class. However, he would never just pay for himself to get business class and leave me behind in economy. He’ll use his status to get us both economy plus and that works pretty well. Sure, it isnt business class but we like being together on the plane.
If he is paying for business class so often, does he not have some status with the airline that he could help you out and not leave you in economy?
I think this is unfair. We don’t know how much she works or how much she makes, but it sounds like her husband is a high earner who works 80+ hour weeks. She could very well still be working full time and earning a decent professional salary, or heck, maybe she works in a necessary but underpaid job (social work, teacher, whatever). Just because her husband works longer hours and makes more doesn’t mean she should get saddled with everything else. Having a cleaner doesn’t mean she doesn’t have to do the more everyday cleaning chores, and doesn’t mean she’s not pulling her weight with the rest of the errands and emotional labor.
OP – I wouldn’t be cool with this, but I believe in joint finances. I’d suggest that if there’s not money for you to fly together, then you don’t have enough money for the vacation yet. Figure out a budget for the trip first, and then save until you hit it.
You need to provide more information. You haven’t answered how tall your husband is. This is an important piece of info. My husband is tallish at 6’2”, but if he did this I would not be ok. We can afford business class but rarely pay for it because it seems like a huge waste of money to me.
I’m firmly in the camp that marital income is shared 50/50, so no, I wouldn’t be ok with this.
I would have no issue with this. Darling Husband is tall and also has anxiety about flying and the extra space helps. Yeah, I’m a little uncomfortable in economy but not to the degree he is. If we could only afford one of us flying in business, I would happily let him have that seat.
I also would never ask him to work more hours if he’s already working a lot just to cover this. Perhaps you can give up the cleaner for a month and pick up some cleaning responsibilities and he could pick up one day. Make it less one sided? Could you cut something out of the vacation?
I thought this was a one time thing- like he got upgraded and you didn’t, and in that situation I absolutley wouldn’t be upset, and tell him to enjoy the first class upgrade! But if this is happening all the time I wouldn’t be cool with it! Could you guys split the extra cost? Like if first class is say $400 more than economy, could you each pay $200?
I wouldn’t mind at all. If he’s working a LOT more hours than you, has fewer days off a month, pays for the majority of living expenses, AND you get a cleaner? That man can fly business class and I’ll enjoy the economy once in a while. Compromise.
Your husband is an asshole. You shouldn’t have to ask for him to pay for your seat. It should be a GIVEN that you get a seat as well. You are his WIFE. You’re not some lower class citizen in your marriage just because he works longer hours and makes more money. You deserve equal treatment.