Post # 46
bougainvillea : I’ve been there since the start of his career and he knows he wouldn’t have his current job and pay if not for me.
I have never understood this mentality and I don’t think it’s fair. Unless you supported his career in some material way (e.g. paid his tuition, kept a roof over his head while he was in school, stayed home with the kids while he was advancing in his career), I don’t get why you feel like you deserve the credit for his success. It diminishes the hard work and talent he has put into his job to be successful. I’ve earned a big promotion since I got married and if my husband scaled back to part time and expected me to pay for luxuries like business class tickets and a cleaning lady because he felt that he somehow got me the job, we would be having a very unpleasant chat about his entitlement.
Post # 47
- Wedding: July 2020 - City, State
I would be totally fine with this. Sounds like his height dictates this more than him just wanting a more comfy spot. Flying economy is not akin to riding in the back of a chicken truck…economy gets you to a fun destination that many, many people cannot afford in the first place.
Post # 48
bougainvillea : sounds like he’s supporting your life style, and give you a cleaning lady!?
I would take that over a business class flight ticket.
Post # 49
bougainvillea : My fiance is tall, and has had bilateral knee replacements. I would be perfectly fine with him flying business to be more comfy on long flights. I don’t mind flying alone. Having said that, being the gentleman that he is, he wouldn’t hear of it if I suggested it. We would figure out how to both fly business, or he would squeeze into coach with me.
I guess I’m wondering how you both can afford a destination vacation, but you can’t seem to budget in two first class tickets. Even if the difference is a thousand dollars, you could cut back on spending at home to afford it. Is it possible hubby is looking for an excuse to fly alone? Unless you’re barely affording the trip to begin with…in that case, so as not to break the bank, hubby should definitely fly with you.
Post # 50
My husband wouldn’t sit in one (better) section and leave me in a different (shittier) section. If it was a stretch for him to afford it then we’d go halfsies on my ticket.
Post # 51
Could you guys swap out who sits in the first class seat during the flight (not sure if the airline allows that but if they did)? Like he gets 5 hrs, you get 5 hrs? That’s the only way it’d “fly” with me (pun intended 🤪).
Post # 52
tiffanybruiser : as great as that sounds, passengers aren’t allowed to switch class seats during flights. The perks in a business class seat are only meant for that designated passenger. You can’t “share” them . You COULD possibly switch seats in the same class though.
Post # 53
I was afraid of that!
In that case the whole thing would rub me wrong. Like pp said if he gets upgraded that’s one thing but purchasing yourself a first class seat while leaving your spouse to rough it in coach is a dick move IMO. lifeisbeeutiful :
Post # 54
You mentioned this travel is for leisure. Maybe wait longer stretches between trips so you can both save up and afford to be comfortable in business class.
Post # 55
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
I’m 5’10”-ish and a size 16/18. Staying in economy is mildly unpleasant but not worth abandoning my partner. We will often be on opposite sides of the aisle (so we both get aisle seats) but we’re still near each other and in the same class. I would think that rather than you being in the far back and him being in business, you could meet in Economy Premium. Or he could split the cost of the upgrade with you.
Asking him to take extra shifts when he’s ALREADY overburdened and only gets 2 days off per month is pretty entitled, though. If you think the household as a whole needs more money, have you considered a) working a second job, b) taking on more hours at your current job, c) evaluating your own spending, or d) ditching the cleaning lady? Or even e) picking cheaper vacations so you can splash out on pricey tickets for you both? Orrrrr switching household expenses (utilities, etc) to a points-generating credit card and using that to make up the gap via purchases that will happen naturally? Yeah. There are umpteen million ways to remedy this problem that don’t rely on your husband going down to zero days off per month. (“But it’s his passion” doesn’t mean anything – burnout and career fatigue are VERY common among individuals pursuing their “passions” because it’s already harder to draw sustaining boundaries around work/life balance.)
Post # 56
I like the idea of doing economy plus instead of business if that’s more affordable for you. Does he have enough miles to upgrade you perhaps instead of having to pay another full price business class ticket? Can you get a airline mileage card or travel card that will get you bonus points so you can earn a business class ticket on the cheap?
I think you shouldn’t ask him to work more to afford your ticket . I know a guy at work who works close to 80 hrs a week to support his wife and kids and I wonder wow, is he doing this because he wants to or his wife is asking for this, that, and the other and he feels pressured to. Either way, I am worried that he is going to get burned out or drop dead of an early heart attack if he keeps this up.
Post # 57
Don’t ask him to work more than he already is so you can upgrade your seat, that is so rude.
you should get a better paying job if you want to afford business class seats, or travel less and use the money you’d save from those trips to upgrade.
Post # 58
bougainvillea : I checked “other” and my suggestion would be to revamp how you two handle finances. The notion that *he* can afford to fly business but you can’t, for a joint holiday, is bizarre and makes me think there are other problems with your finances. Either you both fly the same class or you both stay home! How is the rest of the holiday paid for? Does he eat at fancy restaurants while you dine on fast food? Does he partake in expensive excursions while you stay back at the hotel?
The flight is part of the holiday and should be included in the whole holiday budget. Sounds to me like you guys need a spreadsheet, some savings goals, and a proportional contribution plan for your joint finances.
And to answer your last question: yes, it is unreasonable of you to ask him to fly economy. But it’s unreasonable of him to ask you to do the same! Honestly I would rather stay home than begin a holiday in this manner.
Post # 59
What airline do you use? I normally fly WestJet and they have “economy plus” seating on their planes, which are usually the first 2 to 6 rows depending on the size of the craft. They’re wider seats with about twice the amount of legroom as the normal economy seats. They cost more than regular economy, but significantly less than business class, so I bet if you paid for those for both of you rather than one business class seat and one economy, it would work out to about the same or possibly less.
Post # 60
bougainvillea : Can you please clarify what you mean by “shorter hours”? Is it closer to 20, 40, or 60 per week? At first I was appalled that he would pay for premium service for himself but not you, but if you’re working say 16 hours a week while he’s putting in 70-80 hours AND paying for a cleaner, that changes things. My advice in that case would be cancel or reduce the cleaner and reallocate that money so you can sit together.