Husband in business class while I'm in economy?

posted 3 months ago in Travel
  • poll: What would you do if hubby flies business but you can only afford economy?
    Sit in economy while he sits in business : (40 votes)
    17 %
    Ask him to sit in economy with you : (64 votes)
    27 %
    Ask him to pay for your upgrade : (77 votes)
    32 %
    Other : (57 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    428 posts
    Helper bee

    You’re a family flying together, not two strangers heading to the same airport.  If you (plural) can’t afford two business class / premium economy tickets, consider changing your vacation destination.

    Post # 62
    Member
    13480 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Like others have said, there’s no chance in hell I’d sit in economy while he sat in business just because he earned more.  I tihnk Darling Husband would feel like a colossal asshat if he even suggested this, TBH.  

    Post # 63
    Member
    4417 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Read this post to my husband and he was ‘hell no’ right along with me. You are going on a going on a holiday together. You sit together in whatever class you can comfortably afford. If you can’t afford to do business class for you both, either you take less holidays per year and spend the extra money on business class plane fare for you both or you take more frequent holidays and both go economy.

    The situation you described is like sitting down at the table and your husband eating lobster because he can afford it and you eating packet ramen noodles because that’s what you can afford. That doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not like 14 hours in economy is comfortable for anyone but neither is it an uncomfortable overcrowded thai prison. He’ll survive a trip in economy…. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    13 posts
    Newbee

    catt :  Really? Even if you are 5ft 3in and he is a broad shouldered 6ft 6 in? I mean if you are both the same size, it is one thing. But if one partner is significantly larger and would be uncomfortable, it is different. You would rather him suffer? 

    Post # 65
    Member
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Is he always this disrespectful??

    Post # 66
    Member
    13 posts
    Newbee

    bearinabeecostume :  Are you serious? Do you realize how much business tickets cost for long-haul flights? They are more than the WHOLE vacation for most families. 

    Just for an example- On 6/1 I can take a Delta flight to Paris in economy for $912. Or I can take that *same* flight in business for $6,715. Imagine the trip you can take for just the cost of two business trip flights. You could go to Paris economy for two $1824 and still have $11,000 left over for everything else before you even spend the same as two business tickets. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee

    Yea bee… not cool. I think the others have said everything. You are traveling together. My husband is tall too and we travel often. We sometimes pay a little extra for the emergency exit seats because they have more legroom. For longer flights for flying to Europe we may pay for a better class seat. But we are always together. Sometimes we cheap out a get basic economy where we dont sit together but we have the same class seat. Your husband seems really selfish and I think this is more than just traveling. I’m sure he is like this in other areas of your life.

    Post # 68
    Member
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Pardon the pun, but it wouldn’t fly well with me if my partner sprung for a premium cabin for herself and wanted to put me in coach. 

    However, we both work fulltime, in high paying jobs, and we both travel a LOT for work and have a lot of frequent flyer points.  Nearly all of our leisure travel is in first or business, thanks to a combination of frequent flyer points and upgrades/airline status.  

    We usually don’t sit next to each other as we have preferences for specific seats, but we do like to be in the same cabin.  

    I’ll also add that being very tall is not the only “good” justification for a more expensive business class seat.  Being wide in the hips or the shoulders, having a bad knee, or having a bad back are also reasons why you might prefer a more expensive business class seat.  A flat bed seat makes all the difference in the world for me, as to how well I can walk when I get off the plane.

    In our case, we’ve learned that if we fly long haul in coach, it takes us about 3 days to recover and be at the point where we can enjoy our vacation.  Biz or first, we’re able to get enough sleep and keep injured knees elevated, and we’re good to go the next morning.  

    If we were in a position where we weren’t able to purchase 2 business class tickets, I think we would either hold off on that trip until we could or pick a closer destination.

    Post # 70
    Member
    280 posts
    Helper bee

    I would be more annoyed at the fact that he’s paying for any business class tickets at all than that he’s sitting in the nice seats without me. But I’m just cheap and I don’t see the value in luxury seating (and I’m almost 6 ft tall).

    It sounds like you just have different priorities when it comes to discretionary spending, and that’s fine. My husband and I are the same way. Although we have a joint account for paying basic essential bills, we have discretionary accounts for frivolous things because our ways of relaxing are different. He spends more money on going out to lunch and I pack more of my meals and spend my fun money on books, exercise classes, etc. Your situation is similar. He spends a bigger chunk of his money on traveling in style and you “spend” your discretionary money on leisure time by choosing to work part time and not earning that extra money in the first place. (I’m assuming you work fewer hours because you want to and not because you’re taking care of kids). Just like it would be unfair for me to demand that he treat me to lunch every day while I still enjoy spending my money on things I like, it would be unfair for you to demand business class seats with him while you still enjoy working part-time and he’s busting his butt working long hours. 

    If he can’t afford to buy you the expensive tickets, would you be willing to increase your hours to full-time so you could chip in the extra? If you’re not willing to give up your free time, perhaps you would feel less like a victim if you reframe it in your mind to think of it as you choosing to be cramped for a few hours here and there in order to enjoy a low-stress job and leisurely lifestyle. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    6221 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    My Dh is 6’8″ and before we were able to afford better seats, we would pay for the option to choose our seats and he chose exit rows. That provided a more realistic amount of leg room for him. But as a FAMILY, you fly together. So the two of you either decide that the money is a good use of family funds or you find a different solution, like sitting in an exit row. 

    And you haven’t answered people who have asked how “big” a guy your Dh is. Surely unless he’s taller than some of the other men talked about in this thread, you two can find another solution? My “other” vote was in the hopes that he just wouldn’t be a tool and insist on sitting separately so he can be more comfortable than you are.

    Post # 72
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    I’d be okay with it. My fiancé is a large man and I hate seeing him all scrunched up in a seat for hours. I am comfortable while he is completely smooshed. He’s used to it so he doesn’t complain, but I truly hate it. 

    That’s my context here, I want him to be healthy. He does so much to take care of me in little ways, works hard and gives me extra time to sleep etc, I mean the list goes on and on how much he goes to that little extra effort all the time so I can be comfortable and healthy, I wouldn’t feel right asking him to sit in econ just so I would feel equal or whatever. 

    But we fly a lot- and if we have to, we take seats apart on the really long trips, just so one person doesn’t have to be in the middle. 

    I guess it’s really ultimately up to you. I could see how it might not feel equitable, in which case I’d say examine what you need. If you feel your needs aren’t being met in small or big ways every day, I can see it might be hard to be generous here.

    But if economy is also uncomfortable for you, i myself would find a way to upgrade as well,  or ask him to do it… no need to suffer and feel resentment. The cost would be too great to the partnership – ultimately meaning that saving money wouldn’t be the best choice for your future harmony.  

    Post # 73
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee

    It has happened to me before. My partner earned tons of points and is preferred with carriers while I am not.  When we fly SW he boards with the A list group and saves me a seat. It doesn’t bother me at all, we are still sitting next to each other and they let us check in together.  Last year we went to a last minute bowl game and since he was preferred with that airline, he got bumped to first class.  He offered to switch with my seat but I let him have it. I wasn’t drinking so I didn’t have a need to sit up there but he offered.

    I think in your situation I would feel differently. There should be a happy medium for both of you. Your ticket shouldn’t reflect the he works more so he buys business class and puts you in the economy seats purposely.  

    Post # 74
    Member
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    My husband would NEVER sit in business class with me in economy. Never. When we went to Thailand last year he offered to pay for me to sit in first class, because I have a hard time sleeping sitting up straight. I declined, because I also would never sit in first class while my husband is in economy. Our relationship is based on love and consideration for one another, not just for ourselves. Nope, this would never be an issue for us. 

    Post # 75
    Member
    6360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    bougainvillea :  I wouldn’t be mad, I’d be jealous. If your husband was obese and you were chubby, would you say he can’t buy two seats for comfort if you couldn’t as well? The obvious solution here is to travel less and save more money for each trip so you can both afford the more spacious seating. 

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