Post # 1
My husband and and I have been together for 3 years and have been married for 9 months. We’ve always had a healthy sexual relationship and have sex 3-4 times a week. In general, we have always had similar sex drives. Occasionally, sex will be less frequent if we’re both stressed or overtired from work but these periods typically don’t last that long. He primarily has been the one to initiate physical intimacy, whether it’s sending a dirty text or just letting me know he’s interested and physically aroused. Emotionally we’re in a great place as a couple and we’re in the process buying our first home together. He tells me how happy he is to be married and we’re enjoying our experience as newly weds.
Lately he hasn’t shown much interest in sex, maybe once a week. I know it takes work from both partners so I began initiating sex in some form at least twice a week thinking that would get him back into the groove of things. He always reciprocates but personally he just seems less enthusiastic about love making lately.
I’m in good shape and work out 3 times a week. I’m not a perfectionist but try to look nice and put together for him, well groomed, etc. since it’s easy to get lazy in a relationship. I also try to vary (locations, acts) our sex so we don’t fall into the same routine.
Any recommendations or suggestions from married bees? I’m not worried or upset since we’re still having sex but would like to get him out of his little slump and more interested. I guess I always felt flattered when he was aggressively pursuing sex and it’s hard to be the one constantly initiating things in bed.
Post # 2
Have you asked him why he doesn’t seem into it lately?
Post # 3
missouthernbelle : it happens and is completely normal when the frequency changes and goes back. Rarely does it have anything to do with ones appearance! If everyone had to be in shape and put together all the time to get some it would be a very sparse world lol.
Is he going through a stressful time? Have you mentioned anything to him or are you thinking of waiting it out and seeing what happens?
Post # 4
I think relationships ebb and flow in this department. His testosterone levels may be fluctating. Whatever it is I wouldn’t take it personally. FH and I were once a day ppl for quite awhile, sometimes we are 3-4 times a week ppl, sometimes once a week, sometimes 10 days to two weeks and then right back to 3-4 times a week. It’s just a cycle and I wouldnt worry about it at all if everything else in your relationship is great! Just because that is how it is right now doesn’t mean it’s the new normal. Take a break from trying to initiate and watch a movie and cuddle and connect in a different way.Yes, he still thinks you are sexy and wants you!
Post # 5
I had the same issue and talked to my fiance about it. Healthy relationship, nothing was wrong. He actually confided that he was putting on weight and ffelt insecure. I wasnt expecting that. But the conversation opened the door of discussion on how frequently we both need/want to have sex.
Post # 6
missouthernbelle : How old are you and your DH? Depending on his age his testosterone levels could be dropping. My own Darling Husband just turned 49 and his testosterone levels have been in steady decline. Testosterone starts dropping about 1% a year after the age of 30. So if you have reached the age of 40 then you are already down 10%. Hubby and I dont have sex as often but we still have intimacy in other ways.
As other posters have mentioned, sex between partners ebbs and flows. It can change from week to week and month to month. Nothing has to be wrong, it just happens. If it continues maybe ask him to have a check up with his doctor.
By The Way, due to cancer treatments, I hit menopause early and lost my sex drive. Things happen. It might even happen to you.
Post # 7
(comment moderated for promotion)
Post # 8
Closing thread as spam post bumped it.