Post # 31
okay I’m sorry I admit I laughed when you referred to him as “f-face”
Why are you with him?? It sounds like you absolutely hate him. There’s literally no reason whatsoever you should still be married to this man.
I would literally rather be alone every day for the rest of my life than be in the relationship you’ve described.
Post # 32
You don’t stay with someone you can’t stand because you think you can’t find anyone else. That is a personal feeling of yours that should be worked out in therapy and it isn’t your husband’s job to have to be there due to a self esteem issue on your end. It isn’t right to continue this relationship only because you don’t want to be alone.
Post # 33
My fiance is a coach potato, too. But he’s also a great dad, lover and partner so it doesn’t bother me at all. I also need to do all of the planning/tell him what needs to be done but it works with my personality.
I don’t think these are the real issues here.
Post # 34
Have you decided for yourself what you want? I went through a similar situation once. Only after a while he started an alcohol addiction, then a gambling addiction. I had to take out loans to feed my children and wait and hope for a long time. In the end I left. I wish I had done it earlier.
Post # 35
Maybe he just doesn’t communicate enough? Or you behave in a way that makes him want to hide in the virtual world. And then men start drinking and going out. It is better to take loans for pleasant things, such as a joint vacation or a date. Then there will be fewer problems in the relationship.
Post # 38
Reading your posts I am quite sure that you will be no happier without him than you are with him. Where ver you go, there you are, and you seem very unhappy and defeated by life to me.
I would suggest ignoring him as much as possible and shifting your focus to yourself and ways that you can improve your own life, with or without him. I dont think that he is necessarily the problem here.
And I am not being unkind, I am just really, really concerned about you based on what you’ve written.
Post # 39
Update, weddingbee threads conversations weirdly so sorry if I have not replied to you. Therapy yesterday involved the therapist telling me to “be more silent” (couples lady) and him yelling and drowning me out when I brought up that he goes and stays at friends houses whenever we fight instead of actually dealing with it. She doesn’t say “we need to listen to your wife”, he cries and puts on a show so everything turns around to be about how he can never be criticized for anything. (of course, he criticizes me a lot and that’s completely OK!) Basically because his parents let him do whatever he wanted his whole life, he reacts to any kind of feedback with anger. Most of it is stuff that would help him like “Hey, you’ve been subscribed to that gym for months and haven’t gone, why don’t you cancel ” ends up with “I AM MY OWN PERSON AND I SPEND MY OWN MONEY HOW I WANT”
What I wanted always was an alpha male interested in self-improvement who protected his family from harm. I was desperately trying to find someone else while we were dating the first year. I see friends on bumble etc and the guys are awful per their report. I’m too exhausted to date anyone else so I think I’m going to just find all my personal fulfilment through friends and let him stumble around wasting money and staring at a screen.
Post # 40
I appreciate your concern, everyone is thoughtful and nice here.
Yeah, you can’t make the horse drink right? He’s got severe anxiety and hsp (highly sensitive person) yet refuses to take medicine and screams when I suggest it. every single night his whole life he can’t calm the thoughts running through his head at night, he has physical symptoms whenever something stressful happens, if it’s really stressful he goes around for weeks at a time with one hour of sleep a night–yet he’s “above” medication and just brings his worst self to the relationship. The biggest frustration is that really objectively horrible things have happened to me and he’s had a pretty charmed and easy life yet *he* has to be the focus of everything and receive all the care and all the passes for criticism and shouting. It’s exhausting.
Post # 41
Does he help you execute your planning?
Mine balks and complains. “I don’t think we need to go to Sam’s Club” “I’m not going to take vacation days off for the trip you planned” [until it’s too late, every time, spoils our plans] “I’m not into that event I don’t want to go”
Post # 42
that’s great it worked for you
Post # 43
Bee, there is so much that’s wrong here, but I’ll highlight 3 key things – (1) you need to get your own therapist. Your current therapist doesn’t sound good at all. (2) the resentment is palpable throughout your thread and I really believe you will be better without this man. (3) consider stepping away entirely from this relationship while you figure out your next steps. Your life will be so much better. This man sounds like total deadweight and there is no reason to live like this.
Post # 44
Bee, please listen when I write this. You are not his keeper. It’s not your job and you just simply aren’t. For your well-being please drop this relationship ASAP.
Post # 45
So your plan is to stay in this complete miserable marriage and live a completely miserable life because in your mind being with a man you absolutely hate is better than being single? And he won by default because you couldn’t find anyone else while you were dating?
I’m sorry, but how pathetic. You need to grow a pair and exit this marriage and realize that you DO.NOT.HAVE.TO.BE.MARRIED.
How about you be an alpha female and stand up for your own happiness and LEAVE?!
I’m not trying to be mean but this is a horrifically unhealthy mindset, to the point where I hope this is a troll post.
Post # 46
Did anyone else read this and think that this just sounds like how yours and everyone else’s dad’s were, when you were a kid?