- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I’m warning everyone now, this has a bit of backstory that needs to be explained first.
When my husband and I first met, he was currently out of school. (He’s supposed to be a year ahead of me). I was a sophomore in college at the time, and I inspired him to go back. He got into the university where I attended, and started studying Spanish. His Spanish major soon fell through, because the classes were too hard for him. He then started studying communications, but soon realized that communications can be a worthless degree unless you get lucky with the job.
He finally turned to his true love, computers, and is currently working towards a computer information technology degree. He is VERY good with computers; he worked for a year at Geek Squad fixing them full time, and built his own computer. It is certainly something he wants to do for a career. However, in order to do this, he has to get into the Business School, a subsect of our university. It has now been nearly 4 years since he re-started college, and he still is technically a sophomore. He cannot seem to do well at all. He has like a 1.5 GPA, and fails a lot of classes. He is so smart, but cannot seem to do well in college. You need around a 3.0 to get into the business school, and really get into the computer classes, which I know he will excel at. Right now he just can’t seem to do the prequistite courses, like Macroeconomics, Algebra, and Calculus.
Meanwhile, I breezed through college, making a 4.0 almost every semester. I graduated in May and got my Bachelor’s in Secondary Education (don’t have a job yet, but planning on getting one hopefully next fall). Meanwhile, I’m working full time at a restaurant, so he can focus on school and do well, but he is still failing his classes!
The problem with my husband is that he is a provider. He wants to take care of me, and hates the fact that he is “dragging me down”, with both my time and the debt he is accruing. (We will probably have around 60,000 in debt by the time he gets out). Yesterday, he found out he failed his algebra class for the second time, and was so upset he wouldnt even be in the same room with me. Every semester he says “this is the semester that I will succeed”, and then he ends up not doing well, and in turn makes him depressed. I’m starting to think that college isn’t for him, but by this point, we could never afford the debt he’s already accrued with a job without a degree.
I’m trying so hard to help him and make him feel better, but he is so negative about everything. It makes us both sad because we want a home and a family, but he won’t be out of school for another three years now, and he is almost 25 now. He’s so depressed that he is 25 and still in school. I try to tell him that plenty of people go back to school later in their lives but it doesn’t help. He has a counseling appointment in January so hopefully that will help, but this will be a pretty depressing Christmas season. It doesn’t help that we are poor.
Sorry for the long explanation. I just want to help him, and maybe come up with some other solution. Has anyone ever gone through this, or have any ideas? I’ve thought about private tutoring (I’d pick up extra shifts at work), I’ve suggested he work his way up in a company without college (he really wants a college degree), I’ve even said that maybe the government will forgive his debt in 40 years if he can’t afford payments on his loans. (“Yeah, and be poor for the rest of our lives”).
I just don’t know what to do. Our life timeline has spiraled out of control.