(Closed) Husband is standing in the way of my dream education. Long.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do?
    Leave. Take care of yourself. : (70 votes)
    74 %
    Stay with him, work it out. : (19 votes)
    20 %
    Other. : (5 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 4
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think you need to think about leaving him, but not just because you want to go to school a few hours away.  It honestly just sounds like you don’t love him or want to be married anymore.  Saying that your education is more important than your husband/marriage is a huge red flag.

    Post # 5
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think you should definitely leave. Not only because of your education, but because you’re clearly not in love anymore.

    Good luck 🙂

    Post # 6
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    It sounds like there are many more issues in your marriage than just this. Are your feelings salvageable through counseling? If so, get to it.  If not, cut your losses and get divorced so you can pursue your education.

    Post # 7
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If your concern is you then shouldn’t his behaviour be a concern to you?  He’s being pretty nasty to you it sounds like.

    Can you have an honest heart to heart and relate how you’re feeling to him?  Is he open to counselling so you can work on these issues and be able to express yourself?

    I can’t really compare the situation, but I did give up my dream education for my Fiance.  However, the benefits of me staying in the same city and being with him are worth it in my heart.  I will not be upset about it, I have made this choice for our future.  If something happens in life, going back for that specific schooling would be my first thing to do.  It is on a career path that doesn’t support family life.  I am at peace with the decision I have made.  I have had other opportunities open up being with him here, like he encourages me to write a novel – something I couldn’t do on my own financially, and another dream of mine.  I’m not trying to be smug!  I hope this doesn’t come across that way, but what I’m trying to say is that your partner is not treating you well and you deserve better.

    For you, it seems like you feel guilty for his sacrifices that he has chosen to make.  He shouldn’t put that on you but he is.  Honestly, by the way he treats you I’d be all about me and do what I want.  I would consider leaving him and be with someone who fully supports my dreams.  And I don’t know if you would be ok with the sacrifice… that’s for you to decide.

    Post # 8
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t know enough about the situation to tell you to leave, but my opinion is if you already have other issues in your marriage, don’t let him stop you from your dream career. I think both of your plans for school Y are fine, either you both moving or you renting a place down there if he doesn’t want to move with you. You need education to fall back on in case things in your marriage don’t get better, and if you wanting to further your career (when this was a planned thing) is what “breaks” your marriage, it’s better sooner than later In My Humble Opinion. 

    Post # 10
    5892 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    This so not about school or moving. He is abusive to you. Why are you staying?

    Post # 13
    6222 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I couldn’t be with someone who berates me like that, school or no school.

    Post # 15
    14658 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @anidiotabroad:   That’s not normal.  The guy sounds like a major asshole.  I’ve never heard of a man having to approve someones clothes.  If you *want* to please him with what you wear, that should be your *choice*.  He should not *have* to give his approval, nor should you have to throw away anything he doesnt like.  Oinking at you, making comments and putting you down… is NOT normal.  If he truely wants to “help” for health reasons, there a million different ways to do so without being a dick and insulting you. 

    Good sometimes is not enough. Maybe the good seems so good cause the bad is so bad.  Good is “normal”.   Insults, put downs, name calling, is not. 

    Do not let him stand in the way of your dreams.  A husband should support you and stand with you while you pursue them.  Not shoot you down.


    Post # 16
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    “Sometimes” doesnt cut it. Yes, marriage/relationships aren’t easy and couples fight. But this is emotional abuse. You need to leave, it won’t get better. 

    The topic ‘Husband is standing in the way of my dream education. Long.’ is closed to new replies.

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