Husband is your best friend?

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
551 posts
Busy bee

I’m technically best friends with my SO, but we were best friends before we started dating, so…..

I don’t think it’s something that should be expected or forced. If it happens naturally, then great, but I wouldn’t worry if you have someone else already filling that role in your life. My other “best friends” over the years have always been a hell of a lot more judgy and flaky than my SO ever has been, so consider yourself lucky to have so many people in your life that love you unconditionally.

Also, going back to second grade again, why do we only get one best friend (other than semantics)?

Post # 17
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I do consider my husband to be my best friend. We were friends first and out of all my friends he’s my favorite one so…best friend. He’s the person I want to talk to when something happens, he’s the one I want to try out that new restaurant with, he’s the one I want to binge watch the new season of Stranger Things with.

But I don’t think that’s necessary for a good relationship. It’s just what’s good for me.

Post # 19
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

I also think that the word best friend means different things to different people. 

Post # 20
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

i don’t consider my husband to be a friend of any kind.  he’s my husband.  he’s in a totally different category than friendship.

Post # 21
Member
7032 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve said it for years and I’ll continue to say it…my husband is not my best friend (and we’ve been together almost 20 years). That title is reserved for the person whose been by my side since 7th grade.  I mean if someone truly considers their spouse to be their best friends by all means who am I to say that’s not true? I will say I do secretly eye roll the “he/she is my BEST friend” posts on social media because I wonder how true it really is? 

Post # 22
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

I have a best friend but I also consider my husband my best friend. How can you spend that much time together and be intimate and not be best friends? It might sound juvenile to most but for me to be married to someone without being bestfriends sounds like an arranged marriage. My husband was there for me when my best friend and I had a 2 month falling out and my best friend was there for me back when dh and I were dating and would get in silly fights.

I feel “husband” or “wife” is an umbrella term for bestfriend, lover, partner, soulmate all wrapped into one. Where my actual best friend is just bestfriend so she holds the official title. Both are my best friends but for different reasons. 

 

Post # 23
Member
2071 posts
Buzzing bee

starfish0116 :   I will say I do secretly eye roll the “he/she is my BEST friend” posts on social media because I wonder how true it really is?

 

I mean… why wouldn’t it be true? Not everyone has a built in BFF from 7th grade. I was a wildly unpopular/geeky kid. I don’t have childhood best friends that remain in contact. 

As an adult, I have a rich and rewarding group of friends that each fill a niche and that I can rely on for different things. But my husband is absolutely my best friend. He knows me better than anyone, is there for me when my other friends let me down or I need to vent. Is he the best shopping buddy and rom com guy? No, I have friends I do that stuff with. But when it comes to some deep soul searching cosmic star universe illuminati conspiracy shit up til 3 am drunk on cheap wine then yeah– he’s the weirdo that gets me.

Post # 24
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

I think about this a lot actually. My fiancé is without a doubt my best friend. I love him romantically and I like him as a person. But I also do not have a best friend and most of my friendships don’t really seem to extend outside of work anymore. But I’m okay with that. He’s the one I’d rather have at the end of the day. 

Post # 25
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t have a best friend in general I once thought my husband was my best friend before we dated but then we dated…. lol 

i was told early on by my mother never to call anyone my best friend or confide too much in women. Luckily I have a handful of great friends and my loving husband. 

Post # 26
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My wife is absolutely my best friend. She was my friend before we started dating and we’ve been friends since 8th grade. I enjoy spending time with her more than anyone else, be it travelling, shopping, going to the movies, anything really. We have other friends but I’d rather do these things with her if given the choice.

Everyone’s relationships are different, there’s no need to judge other couples who are or are not each other’s best friends.

Post # 27
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

Aw that’s a really cute analogy. Best apples and one best orange. Explains it perfectly! MiniMeow :  

i have a best apple. She’s my bestest apple because she knows too much. Much more then my best orange does. Sometimes, life gives you lemons, and in those times an apple is what you need. 

Post # 28
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

i’ve been besties with my girls since I was 7yrs old.

My SO has a nicotine addiction from a flash drive.

Easy choice.

Post # 29
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Everyone gets to choose who their best friend is. It’s okay for it to be a spouse, a sibling, or another person. What’s shitty is people judging others who are best friends with their spouses, as I see on this thread. 

Post # 30
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

bibliophilacticbee :  I think both ways are totally fine as long as they arent exteme (ie- you and your spouse arent friends OR your spouse is your only friend).

My husband is my best friend. I never felt he needed to be… but he just is. He knows me best and sees me at my most vulnerable. We always have fun together (thats why we got married!) and I just really enjoy his company. We have a good group of mutual friends that we hang out with regularly… but I really enjoy my time with just him.

I work from home and Im like a kid waiting for him to get home to I can see him… even though I have to work for a few more hours, its still nice knowing hes here 🙂

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