Husband is your best friend?

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’ve never called my husband my best friend and he’s never called me his best friend, but I know for certain that we are each other’s closest person/companion/partner/etc. A friend once asked me, “isn’t your SO your best friend?” And I kind of stuttered my reply. Sure, in all honestly, yes he is my BFF, because we share every thing and he’s the closest person I would ever be with, but I guess the word “friend” kind of makes this different. So I never labelled my Darling Husband my BFF.

Post # 47
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

This is a backward ass thread. Maybe I’m wrong, but a bff to *me* is someone who whole heartedly tries to understand and love you for you. Hopefully without judgment. I dated my SO back in HS and we were bffs then and yes he is mine now. Why? Because out of everyone I know (family included) he is there when I’m struggling in life. He tries to comfort me, accepts me for my flaws without judgment. I feel comfortable to be cray cray when I’m having anxiety. He loves me for me. He allows me to grow 100% as a person because he wants me to be the happiest best me I can be. 

Yes, I have a few very close friends, a group of other friends, and aquaintances, and sure I can have 2 bffs at once (including SO), but he will ultimately be the one I will trust the most and will be the most dependable. Why else do ppl on this thread say all you need to fulfill a wedding is a groom and officiant? A bff is supposed to be your most loyal companion- wouldn’t that be your partner? 

Post # 48
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My husband is absolutely my best friend. My ride or die. He is the first person I run to with any news in my life.  He can make me laugh like no other, and he is the only other citizen in my weird ass world. I do have a female Boyfriend or Best Friend and several close friends, but my husband is my favorite. 

I find it weird that people are saying that people who say this do it to be en Vogue or phoney. Huh? So, people find it impossible to believe spouses can be besties? That disturbs me. I know so many people who aren’t even friends with their spouses. They don’t really share themselves, and I don’t sense any real closeness. They appear to more business partners than lovers. That’s sad to me. As for myself, I would be friends with my husband even if we weren’t having sex, but that is one yummy bonus. 

I do think it’s ok for spouses not to be besties, as long as there is communication, respect, shared values, and hopefully some fun in that relationship. 

Post # 49
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Rossino Castle

Nope, he isn’t. I don’t bang my bestfriend. 

Post # 50
Member
8267 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

bibliophilacticbee :  

No he’s not my best friend, I have two women best friends. . I have always found it distinctly odd on these boards when I see  ” I am  marrying best friend’ etc , it took me ages to accept that it meant fiancé/husband.

I value both of the roles greatly , very greatly,  but I  don’t conflate them. 

Post # 51
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

My fiance is my best friend, but not in the same way that my best girlfriends are my best friends. I can (and do) have more than one best friend, I don’t feel the need to make a point of telling my fiance that he is not my best friend in the same way my girls are my best friends, and vice versa.

I personally would not want to live with, marry and spend the rest of my life with someone I did not consider best friend level in my life. 

Post # 52
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

My fiance is my best friend, simply because he was my best friend before we started dating.  I always think of him as my best friend and the one time we did break up for a short period of time, I was more upset I had lost my best friend.   It’s perfectly fine for him not to be too, like you said, it’s a different type of relationship.  I still have my girl best friends but he is defo my 1st best friend. 

Post # 53
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My husband calls me his best friend all the time and I don’t say call him mine back haha. My best friend (really more like a sister) has been my best friend since I was three years old. We’ve been through literally decades of friendship and it would feel like disrespect to give that title to my husband now. Of course, he is my “best friend” in all the same ways; we talk about everything, are there for each other always, and love each other unconditionally. Husband gets to be my one true love, my soulmate, the father of my children — I feel more comfortable keeping one title for someone else who has spent her whole life loving me and earning it it.  🙂

Post # 54
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

I find it strange how many people are SO against their spouse being their best friend, I guess it depends how you define the term “best friend”.

I consider my husband one of my best friends, but I also have several girlfriends that I’ve known for half my life, and a sister that I consider my best friends. 

I spend most of my time with my husband due to the distance we live from our friends/family and I have never had more fun with anyone in my life, we go on amazing adventures, can have fun doing anythign and I can tell him literally anything, I’ve never been so honest with anyone in my life, even my girlfriends.

I guess I don’t understand why your lover can’t be your best friend as well? 

Post # 55
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I have two best friends. Neither of them is my partner. One is a friend I’ve known since I was a teenager. We’ve helped each other through thick and thin. I helped her through her break ups. She’s helped me through mine. 

My other best friend is my ex. We were together for 7 years and just were a terrible couple. Always got on better when we were friends. Eventually when we were 21 we realised this and we’ve been best friends ever since. He even kinda helped me get with my current partner in a roundabout way. 

Post # 56
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My husband is 100% my best friend. I am certain I am his, as well. 

Post # 57
Member
11974 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

People are really overthinking this one and getting hung up on semantic distinctions that I’ve never heard of and that as far as I’m concerned don’t exist in the English language. Just because friends can also be people with whom you are not in a romantic relationship does not preclude the fact that spouses are, and can be, among many other roles, each other’s closest friend.

Post # 58
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

slomotion :  Am I missing something? Why is it ew for your husband to be your best friend? 

Post # 60
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I find the term best friend to be silly, but I will say that my husband is the closest person to me and vice versa. We are each other’s ride or die. We laugh, we joke, we talk, we cry, and we bang! I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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