Husband making comments on my body..feeling down

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Hostess
8835 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

shadows9x :  Things clearly haven’t improved ENOUGH. He sounds like a rude and abusive asshole. 

Post # 32
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

fashion stuff doesn’t bother me, I mention that fiance doesn’t dress as nice or make an effort to on date nights anymore and I think that’s fair because it bothers me that he will show up in dirty t-shirt and jeans instead of putting on a nice shirt and jacket etc… like he use to and it would take 2 minutes for him to change when Ive spent over an hour getting ready.

I also think if one was always well groomed and then suddenly stopped it would raise questions too, although it doesnt bother me personally when fiance stopped shaving and grew a beard I was like ok cool whatevers easiest for you lol.

saying you look old or your hips have spread or boobs sagged or you have wrinkles etc… is not cool though, we all age and our bodies change out of control. Both me and fiance have gained weight and while we both moan about wanting to lose weight we never insult each other (for the honest record I think his bodies just fine and mine likely is too but we both could do with a little toning but hard to get to the gym with kids to look after and I much rather hes here helping with the kids).

Post # 33
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

shadows9x :  you shouldn’t have to inform your husband that hin telling you that you are “too wide” and he “liked you better before”, hurts your feelings. He should never even consider saying those things because OBVIOUSLY it’s mean. He just doesn’t care, because he thinks you don’t deserve kindness and respect and he may even enjoy hurting you, because he’s an abuser 🙁

Post # 34
Member
10029 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You should have started making comments about his dick and the pimple on his right ass cheek and the funky way his ballsack smells. 

Post # 35
Member
312 posts
Helper bee

Your husband is an abusive person, please read about the cycle of abuse; those “good times” you’re having are just a stop on that cycle. 

Post # 36
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Your husband should be the one raising you up when you feel the worst about yourself (not saying that you feel bad about yourself).

When my husband is feeling my legs after not shaving. Him: “So smooth!” Me: “I need to shave.” Him: “Still so smooth!”

Post # 37
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee

shadows9x :  No, he hasn’t improved. 

He is still emotionally abusive. 

He will never stop being abusive. 

He will never treat you well. 

He will never make you feel wholly loved and accepted.

A man is out there who will. 

You will never meet him so long as you stay married to this pathetic excuse for a man. 

You have the control here. You can choose to be with someone abusive or you can choose to leave. It isn’t easy and it isn’t without sadness or fear. But it is YOUR choice. 

Post # 38
Member
551 posts
Busy bee

redbagel :  WAT? I’ll have to go looking for that thread now….

Oh, bee. I was going to say something relatively lighthearted, but that just flew out of my head. If my fiance said the things your husband has been saying to you his testicles would be in the next county and our relationship would be toast. This is horrifying. Horrifying. At first I thought you were just married to an idiot. I hate to tell you this, but you are actually married to The Problem: The guy who makes every member of his gender look bad, who confirms every patriarchal myth about entitled male behavior. 

Why, why, why are you still married to this person?? What could he POSSIBLY be doing to compensate for this behavior? I’ll give you a hint, NOTHING, because it’s NOT POSSIBLE! 

No one deserves this kind of treatment from their spouse. 

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