(Closed) husband not invited to the wedding with me….. thoughts?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

meetmethere2013:  Whoa!  I’d respectfully decline….

Post # 3
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would decline as well. 

Post # 4
Member
545 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
meetmethere2013:  Sorry, bee! I would give her a card and say something to the tune of, “I’d rather spend my holiday doing something I actually want to do, rather than attend a wedding alone.”

Just kidding. Kind of.  I would find a way to tell her you would love to be there but you and your hubs are a package deal. I wouldn’t want to go somewhere I knew my DH wasn’t welcomed.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

A lot of factors can play into this. If she’s getting married on a tight budget or at a venue that limits guest count, then I can honestly understand not wanting to give away a space for someone important to her in order to have your husband there who it sounds like she doesn’t know. 

 

However, I think it was outright inappropriate of her to go out of her way to point this out to you. She could have waited for you to come to her if you had any questions or wanted to clarify wny your husband wasn’t invited. 

 

I think the solution here is simple…if you aren’t comfortable attending this wedding without your husband, don’t go.

Post # 6
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Honestly, I’d skip the wedding. But then I’m not so good at small talk or being a social butterfly, so without my Fiance as my buffer I wouldn’t want to go to a social event where I don’t know anyone else attending. It’s a shame she couldn’t accommodate your husband since it is traditional to invite married couples as a unit. Try not to be too hurt since I think anyone who’s planned a wedding understands how much a budget can be stretched thin with the addition of more guests. Personally, I think she made the wrong choice in not inviting him but it is what it is.

Post # 7
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
meetmethere2013:  doesn’t matter what our thoughts are. Of course it’s rude but they can invite or not invite who they want and you can just decline. I would decline. That’s it. End of story.

Post # 8
Member
3879 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d decline as well. I can’t imagine inviting someone and not their spouse. That’s awfully rude IMO. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I’d have a hard time keeping from holding a grudge on this (even though I’m a pretty easy going person).

Post # 9
Member
8366 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
meetmethere2013:  Big fat “declines with regret”. I wouldn’t add any comment or note or anything. Just check the box and not waste any more time. If she called to ask (which she probably wouldn’t because she apparently doesn’t care that much about her friends) I would be honest. I’m not travelling that far by myself and I’m not bringing husband along for the ride just to have him sit at the hotel by himself for 8 hours.

Post # 10
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Big fat decline from me.

Post # 11
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

View original reply
meetmethere2013:  I would decline. I think its horribly rude not to invite your husband regardless of having to travel or not.

Post # 12
Member
5521 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
meetmethere2013:  That is seriously rude; literally nothing (space, budget constraints, whatever) makes this OK, semi-destination wedding or not.

I would just respectfully decline. If she appears upset or asks why, then just say that because of the distance and the fact you had planned to make it a holiday, you can’t attend because your husband isn’t invited. Basically, I’d be honest, but only if asked.

Post # 13
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
meetmethere2013:  I think it’s a little rude.  Personally, unless it was a wedding in my hometown I would probably decline to travel that far without my DH. 

Post # 14
Member
25 posts
Newbee

At least she was honest about her reasons.

You could always ask if it’s possible for your husband to join the wedding party after dinner if you still want to attend and go on holiday together. Perhaps you could watch the ceremony, go out and have dinner elsewhere with your husband, and both return for the party? Worth a shot asking anyway. Depends on how important it is for you to attend.

Post # 15
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’d decline.  It’s a little rude and doesn’t sound like fun if you won’t know anyone there.

The topic ‘husband not invited to the wedding with me….. thoughts?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors