(Closed) husband not invited to the wedding with me….. thoughts?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 91
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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BlackbirdBee:  Good to know I’m not totally alone, lol

Post # 92
Member
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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carolinabelle:  +1000 to all your posts.

Whenever I see one of these posts I automatically think it has nothing to do with space but more to with presents. That the bride knows most people won’t attend without their spouse but will send a gift when they decline.

Post # 93
Member
2769 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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MistySoda:  we want to keep our numbers low (like, 50-70) and we could probably fill that whole amount with my Dad’s family alone. I understand the ‘cutting the guest list’ struggle. Even so, I would never not offer someone a +1 for their spouse, particularly if they came from a distance. 

Post # 94
Member
13624 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Several comments on this thread make me think of a Miss Manners comment regarding those pre-printed RSVP cards she dislikes.  She says eventually someone is going to object to the words “declines with regret”  being being put in their mouth when it is a sentiment they do not feel.  This would probably be one of those times.

In any case, only an RSVP stating you will not attend is necessary. You are not obliged  to give any reason. 

Post # 95
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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meetmethere2013:  There is NO reason that it’s acceptable to invite someone to a wedding without their spouse. Period. End of story. I would absolutely decline. It has nothing to do with being able to function without your spouse, it’s just totally disrepectful. FWIW, I actually attend most weddings without my DH because he travels a lot for work and isn’t always in town for them. I manage just fine by myself, even if it’s not very much fun. I’m very social and can talk to just about anyone. That being said, even if my DH was not going to be in town, I wouldn’t attend a wedding that he wasn’t invited to out of principal.

Post # 96
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’d decline. I wouldn’t travel across provinces to a wedding of a friend without my husband. I would go to a wedding of a co-worker, in my city, without my husband, mind you, but this isn’t the situation here.  

Post # 97
Member
2569 posts
Sugar bee

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meetmethere2013:  I’d decline.  You only know the Maid/Matron of Honor so she will be busy and you would be left alone with no one. Maybe now she can invite another friend of hers. 

Post # 98
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

So tacky. People actually do this? I would decline. I never understood why you would ask your friends/family to travel to your wedding to celebrate marriage yet guests spouses can’t come. its so thoughtless to me. These guests are traveling sometimes from far away and bringing gifts. I want my loved ones to enjoy their night along side me.

Post # 99
Member
36 posts
Newbee

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weddingmaven:  A solution to that would be the RSVP cards my father found online.

Post # 100
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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meetmethere2013:  did she go to your wedding?  If yes I think it’s super rude that she said that she dosn’t know him on top of the non-invite.

Your friend’s a b.

Post # 101
Member
3879 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

 

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meetmethere2013:  What have you decided?

Post # 102
Member
13624 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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BlackbirdBee:  LOL,that just about sums it up for some people! 

Post # 103
Member
4113 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I hope you decline.

Its not just about having to go alone.. You’re using vacation time and spending crazy money to travel within Canada, without your husband to boot. I probably wouldn’t send a gift either.

Post # 104
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

Why the hell would you want to travel to a wedding where you don’t know anyone and can’t bring your husband? I don’t get why she expected you to do that in the first place. I mean I get why someone would rather give a seat to a friend over someone they don’t know well, but you just don’t do that to people especially when they have no other friends there.

I would decline, but don’t bother to give a reason or anything. If you tell her it’s because your husband wasn’t invited she is only going to think that you’re “making this all about yourself” and trying to weasel an invitation for your husband out of her. Don’t give her the opportunity to blame you for any of it.

Post # 105
Member
44 posts
Newbee

100% decline. You’re married and a unit.  That’s complete rubbish.

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