(Closed) Husband out of work…god help me.

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Sunshine09 :  just wanted to say, I feel you. My dh has been out of work for a little over a year now and it’s getting….brutal. He is 50 years old, first time unemployed EVER, and prospects are DRY round these parts. Meanwhile, I’m 6 months into my 3rd new job in that same time frame…killing myself climbing the professional ladder so I can keep it all together financially. Primarily, single-handedly parenting 3 teens. Never ever did I EVER ONCE consider in this lifetime I’d be the sole breadwinner, head of household to a family of 5. It sucks. I bet I’ve started writing your thread 100 times over the last year, but I’ve stopped myself because, I dunno. 

Best of luck to you. I understand all of your feelings, from what you’ve written. I hope everything smoothes out soon! 

Post # 32
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

Oh gosh, I hope he is able to find something soon!! After reading all these posts, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be the sole provider, especially if you have kids!!

I am in your husband’s situation; I started applying for jobs in JANUARY and haven’t found anything yet (though I did have a job till June). It has only been 3 months, but it feels so much longer. I get depressed every time I get a rejection letter or fail an interview, but my Fiance has been so supportive! I do more than my fair share around the house though and cook and clean but it is so terribly boring to not have any work to do. We didn’t get in any fights about it; he has just been very comforting and supportive. I found a part-time job in the mean time and then interviews came pouring in and now it is actually difficult for me to keep pulling out of my PTJ to go to these interviews. Maybe your husband can find a part-time job while is is applying? It has been so much more stress free for me knowing that I am making a little pocket money and know that I have something to fall back to even if it isn’t much. It also keeps me from going crazy staying cooped up in the house. I’m sure it’d be beneficial for him, too!

Post # 33
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

noshrinkingviolet :  you are living my life. Hubs is the same age as yours. I’m one year older than he is. Only one teenager. Trying to maximize all work opportunities to preserve our lifestyle with the loss of 40% of our household income. One big difference is I was a single mom until about 2 years ago. I feel your pain. Actually, this post has made me feel better because most people don’t understand the stress and pressure to keep it together for the family while you are scared sh$&less.

Post # 34
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

fscarlett :  I can relate to this as well, as this is a second marriage and blended family situation. We’ve only been married 3.5 years, and prior to that I was a single mom for about 7 years. So, while I’ve held it together for this past year, today I kinda finally hit rock bottom. PTSD from those single years stirring up on me. Stress and fear, ah yes, seem to be the only modes I know lately. 

Sorry you’re in this boat too. Sending you positive vibes for a solution. 

OP, no disrespect meant in my mini-meltdown threadjack :-/ 

Post # 35
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

Sunshine09 :  

Hang in there. When my hubs is between contracts and it’s taking longer to start a new gig, he’s a lousy SAHH and an even grumpier old man. Bless his heart. When I’m between contracts, we handle it much better.

houstonsweetcorn :  

It does suck. Excellent post.

 

 

Post # 36
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My husband got fired for doing something that was very poor judgment on his part during our engagement right before the holidays. I was just out of nursing school freaking out at my brand new job and begged him not to do what he did that got him fired. It took him over a year to find a contract position and it was definitely trying for both of us but now our relationship is stronger than ever and we learned a lot about our relationship and each other during his unemployment.

 

Hang in there, it is such a huge blow to the ego. Have him join meetup groups and encourage him to learn new things while he has time.

Post # 37
Member
35 posts
Newbee

houstonsweetcorn :  

 

Me, too. I was unemployed for so, so long during the recession. I couldn’t even get a phone interview for a minimum wage retail job. I hated (and hate) housework, and depression from unemployment didn’t serve to motivate. Many things around the house went undone.

My husband supported me unquestioningly during this time. I will never forget how patient and kind and uplifting he was during that period. We are in a better position now, and I even hope to support him while he takes some time off to start a business. I understand that it is hard on you, but please remember that it is likely terribly hard on him as well, and that, at another point in your lives, the roles may very well be reversed.

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