(Closed) Husband possibly taking both our last names

posted 4 years ago in Names
  • poll: what are you doing about your last name after you marry?
    taking my husbands name : (40 votes)
    67 %
    keeping my maiden name : (14 votes)
    23 %
    hyphenating : (2 votes)
    3 %
    creating a new cnaem for both of us : (2 votes)
    3 %
    other : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6361 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I know several couples who have done just that (change their last names to a hyphenation of her maiden name and his bachelor name).

    My fiance has told me he wants to take my last name, and I couldn’t be more honored!

    Post # 4
    Member
    9567 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I think it’s a great idea, just not for us. I have always planned on taking my husband’s last name, and even though I prefer my last name to his, I will be taking his last name and I can’t wait to be Mrs HisLastName!

    Post # 5
    Member
    92 posts
    Worker bee

    I am planning to take his last name, it is the traditional thing to do from where i come from and i also prefer his last name to mine 

    Post # 6
    Member
    9145 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    I am taking his last name legally because it means a lot to him.  However, I plan to use a hyphenated name at work because I have built a reputation with my maiden name.

    Socially: BeachBride HusbandsName

    Professionally: Beachbride MaidenName-HusbandsName

    Post # 7
    Member
    9237 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    My sister and her husband did this – both hyphenated their last names. It’s a nice have to have the same last name but keep both sides too. I’d do this except I hate hyphenated names (for me personally)

    Post # 8
    Member
    3887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    My husband’s parents did this, when they married, way before he was even born. I thought it was incredibly romantic, and we would have done this if he weren’t already hyphenated.

    FWIW I kept my maiden name, having seen the giant pain in the ass having a hyphenated name is.  He always has issues with his name, everything from checking into hotels to making dinner reservations.  Those challenges are the only reason I didn’t change my name; I’m not emotionally attached to my name, but I like it better than not being able to buy an airline ticket without standing on my head.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2769 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I always thought I’d take his name – it’s easier to spell than mine and goes well with my first name.

    But then the more people assume I will be changing my name (and everyone does assume that), the less I want to. It’s just the assumption that you’re expected to change it that I don’t like.

    I’ll be the only married girl in my office that hasn’t changed her name and I kind of like the idea. I guess it’s just a statement of my independence that I think I’d like to make. 

    My FI doesn’t care, in fact shortly after proposing he said he wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t.

    I think I may end up taking his name eventually, but only personally. And not for a little while yet. (Which means that I’ll probably never get around to it, LOL.) 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Originally I planned on hyphenating my name. There are no boys in my family (or extended family) so the name is dying out. I would like to at least hang on to it. But it seems like a pain to hyphenate. So I think I’ll just tack his name on the end and have two middle names–Firstname, middlename, maidenname, husbandsname. I like my name as it is now and don’t want to lose any part of it, but I do want his name as well.

    SO is a Junior, so I know he would never change his name. I know being a Junior is important to him, so I wouldn’t ask him to do anything to his name.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    7564 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @lolot:  I agree. It’s a nice push towards equality but hyphenated names are such a pain! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We have friends that did this. They didn’t hyphenate, he just added her name to the end of his and she added his name to the middle of her name, so by way of example (I’ve changed the names for privacy)

    Her name prior to marrage: Jane Smith

    His name prior to marriage: John Doe

    They are now: Jane Doe Smith and John Doe Smith

    Post # 13
    Bee
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    @WillowTreeWade:  I took my husband’s last name, which is a hyphenated name (in his culture, the first part is the family name, and the second part is the province where they’re from). I hate hate hate having a hyphenated name, it drives me beserk – it’s inconsistent, like two of our credit card companies couldn’t include the hyphen on our credit cards so it’s just one long name, and same with booking flights online – my boarding passes never match my driver’s license, and I get questioned about that at the airport. Someone else here has the same problems – I think crayfish?

    Still, I know it makes my husband so happy that I chose to take his name, and I’m proud to be Mrs. Newlastname. The hyphenated thing bugs me, but we might shorten our last name when we have kids so they don’t go through what we have haha.

    Another thing – it took a long time to change everything over to my new last name. It took several months for all of my work aquaintances to figure out that I had changed my name, it took long waits at the DMV and passport office, and it truly was a hassle… I totally get why some couples choose to both change their names, but unless he felt strongly about it, I wouldn’t ask my husband to go through the name-changing hassle that I went through.

    Post # 14
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @fishbone:  I have a friend who grew up with a hyphenated name, and he hated it so much, for all the reasons you stated. When he got married he dropped the second name and he and his wife just go by his first last name.

    I don’t really want to take MrMojito’s name, but I’m probably going to do it anyway. I want us both to have the same name. I don’t want to hyphenate because it is so annoying and we both have three sylable last names. He can’t take my name because his career and reputation in his field are established with his name. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I think both parents hypenating is cute for some but troublesome for the kids. They don’t have the same option when they get married (to hypenate or not). They grow up with this long last name and when they get married they either have to drop it all together or have 3 last names.

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