I get that he took a pay cut, and that it’s hard on you, but is it really making you guys strapped for cash? I get that if it is. I really do.
If you enjoy being a Stay-At-Home Mom and you guys can still pay the bills just fine, I think you might need to talk with your husband a bit more, maybe with a therapist? I’m not sure what your “agreement” was prior to kids, but it seems you and he were both happy with your Stay-At-Home Mom situation. I can understand working while he was unemployed, but is it really necessary now?
I know people are going to jump all over me for this, but you both need to choose if money is more important than raising your kid (two kids soon!). I’m not trying to be a jerk, but just wanting some extra shopping money is different than helping your family stay above water.
I’ll make up some numebrs. If your hubby made 140K before quitting his job and now makes 60k and you have determined your household needs at least 80K to stay afloat, I totally understand your pain and desire/need to work. If your hubs now makes 90K and you just miss a lot of extra spending money, you guys need to work that out, or maybe you could work 10-15 hours a week to satisfy your needs?
I’m not going to pass judment on you, but a lot of people think they “need” more money than they really do. You get used to a certain lifestyle, sometimes that takes a hit when these things happen. Do you REALLY need the lifestyle?
Again, not sure if this is a lifestyle thing for you, or all out survival. It sounds like you just want the extra money. Which is all well and good, but at what cost to your kids and your marriage? I don’t want to catch any heat for this, but I know I will. I think being a Stay-At-Home Mom is worth more than extra spending money (or even a PT SAHM). You and hubs need to decide what is important to you, and it sounds like he has made up his mind.
I don’t really know if it’s so much that he “can’t support you” as much as it is you missing the high income and the lifestyle that may have come with it. I think it was wrong to spring it on you (like your husband did) that he quit, but I have a feeling his intentions were good. Not excusing it, but to me, certain things can be forgivable.
Edit: just saw his new job does NOT provide health insurance coverage. I don’t know what it is to go on the market yourselves and buy it (my father does because he is self employed, but also unmarried with no dependents, so different story), but that could be a huge dealbreaker, esp with baby on the way. I assume you guys buy your own coverage now, is it too expensive for him to pay for?
It sounds like you guys are really just having a lifestyle disagreement, which needs to be hashed out. Again, I don’t know if the difference here is a few less meals out a month, or if it’s downright survival mode for you.
I guess there are a lot of factors at play here. Many people I know are single income households. They aren’t “rich”, but they get by just fine. Sure they go without, but they are some of the happiest families I know. My father makes almost twice now what he did when I was a kid. My mom didn’t work and he raised two kids just fine. Sure we didn’t have exotic vacations, but we had our mom around. If it’s just a matter of giving up some luxuries to stay home with the kids, I would choose that.