(Closed) Husband refuses to eat healthy

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 18
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Well he’s an adult so he’ll make his own choices. With my toddler I will hide the veggies and fruit in other foods, chop them up in the pasta/etc. Then he at least he gets them.

My SO refused to eat wheat bread (my preference) so I made some homemade wheat bread and he’d snack on that.

Really there’s not much you can do, I mean it’d be like him trying to force you to eat junk (haha OH NO right), you eat what you want, he’ll eat what he wants. It’s unfortunate it’s not the best for him but he’ll survive it.

Post # 19
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Other pp’s are spot on with their suggestions!  Although my SO is really good at eating whatever is put in front of him, he always prefers the unhealthy options.  I swear he could eat pizza 7 nights a week.  Knowing these things, and knowing my desire to eat  healthy, I have found ways to make him and myself happy!  Some of which he has NO clue about 🙂

I often switch out the red meat for turkey, or do a really lean version of the red meat.  Most of what I cook with the red meat is easily ‘hidden’ – meatloaf, chili, sloppy joes, etc.  He has absolutely no idea.  For burgers, I/we have tried so many variations of a turkey or chicken burger until I found one he LOVES, and so is OK with chicken ‘burgers’ on those nights. 

If I am cooking a pasta dish, I try to add a ton of veggies to the sauce, or whatever, paired with the whole wheat pasta.  This way he is getting a lot of what he needs in that one dish.

I also make a really awesome stuffed zucchini and stuffed peppers.  Again, it is kind of an all in one dish, and he is getting that veggie too!

Finally, in order to support his love of pizza, I just make my own.  It is far healthier than ordering out, even if it is still pizza!  Oh, and, I throw him a ‘bone’ by baking fries/rolls/onion rings as a side to him.  I just avoid eating them 🙂  GOOD LUCK!

Post # 20
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@Krises:  I was going to suggest this as well. It’s just like hiding vegetables from children — make them small enough so they can’t see them and/or pick them out!

I don’t love fruit, but man I do love smoothies. Think you could persuade him to drink them? Especially if you referred to them as “protein drinks” or something else manly (and yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds!)?

Post # 21
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

That is a tough one.  It is hard to know what the “key” would be for him.  I mean, some people are swayed by different things, but it sounds like at this point he just doesn’t care.  I am lucky because DH loves healthy food.  READ:  He loves ANY food.  Maybe, not to put it all on you- maybe through a combo of cooking and also exploring at restaurants if necessary- find things that are healthy that he does like.  They have to be out there.  My Gramps and Dad laugh at vegetables.  I mean literally!  They LAUGH!  I was able to get them to eat lots when I made a peanut curry coconut sauce. 

Post # 22
6112 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have been there, done that.  My ex used to spit out food in the trash that he did not like.  What a scene he made!

I bought a “picture book” cook book so he could grunt and point and photos of food that looked good to him.

THAT didn’t work either.

I don’t know.  In the end, I just ended up cooking for myself and let him fend for himself since he did not like my food. 

Post # 23
206 posts
Helper bee

Is he serving himself? He shouldn’t put vegetables on his plate if he knows he will not eat them.

If the issue is that the plates are laid out and food put on before people eat, try serving dishes so that you can both just take what you want and save the rest.

Use alternatives to what he does like rather than the suggestion of hiding the vegetables, since he’s not a child. It is his decision as to what he eats and he should know what is in his food. If he agrees to the meatloaf with loads of non-meat products, then you’re fine, but you shouldn’t lie to him.

Post # 24
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

That is so frustrating. You will be the one who stands by when he dies of heart failure or is suffering from dementia in the future. Btw looking thin does not mean you do not have a dangerous level of fat. It’s called “skinny fat” and is just as dangerous as being visibly overweight. Here’s a link.




Post # 25
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ok, well he’s still pretty young.  He can still learn to like better food down the line.  I used to eat similarly crappy, and in the last year have started to come around.  I will say if he feels like you’re forcing him to eat veggies, he’s less likely to clean up his eating habits.  He might eat more junk to spite you.


One thing I do to get more veggies in my diet is to blend a smoothie.  I get good orange juice, blend in some frozen fruit and spinach and baby romaine.  You can’t taste the greens.  If you have it ready for him in the morning, even serve it in bed, that could be a start.  He’ll associate that food with being spoiled and given the royal treatment.

Post # 26
5669 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sometimes guys can get like this because they are too lazy to cook for themseleves or make a lunch and they just don’t care. When I met DH he didn’t eat a single vegetable and could have liked off McD’s. I pack his lunch. Pick healthy alternatives to snacks, not health food but healthier. And while he might enjoy some junk food I make sure that the portions I pack are correct portion sizes and also make sure it’s balanced. He enjoys fruit so i make sure he always has some in his lunch box. If he wants cookies I taught him to take some on a napkin instead of sitting down with the whole bag. 

DH grew up with every vegatable being steamed. Personally I love veggies but could not eat steamed veggies every day. I find a way to spice up his veggies, like dressing on green beans, brown sugar with yams, etc. It may be a couple more calories but it’s much healthier than not eating them. He also likes salad so I try to have one on the table if he doesn’t like the veggies for dinner. Spinach is stuffed in chicken with some cheese. Try hiding the vegetables.

I know it may seem like a lot of work but I do the food shopping and cooking in the house so it has sort of just become my role since I was doing it for myself anyways.

Post # 27
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

Well, as someone who is an adult picky eater myself, I definitely don’t recommend treating your husband like a child about this (i.e. ‘hiding’ vegetables in his food). I honestly think pulling tricks about it might make him resentful of you–just my opinion and speaking from experience.

Again, just from personal experience, I don’t like vegetables much either, and I don’t like any fruit at all. My parents tried very hard to ‘make’ me eat things and it really just wasn’t a pleasant experience. I live on my own now and eat pretty well, but it’s because I made my own choice to do so.

Scaring him with health risks won’t make him like the food any more, and no one wants to be forced to eat something they don’t like. 

I’m not trying to criticize, I know it can be very frustrating to watch as someone you love is doing something harmful to themselves. Just offering perspective.

Post # 28
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My DH, if left to his own devices, would eat pizza and pasta everyday. He’ll complain that salads are “for rabbits, and he is not a rabbit.” He is also a huge fan of that show “Man vs. Food”….Fortunately, he grew up in a culture which has an enormous respect for (quality) food, and will eat what I make. I do the shopping and cooking, so I have all the power – so if he doesn’t like what I make he can cook for himself, but he always would rather go along with a cooked meal I’ve made. I have a few suggestions:

– Do you have a farmer’s market around you? You may want to try buying higher quality vegetables and that might have an effect. Maybe if you have some space, try growing a cherry tomato plant or some other vegetables. It’s not like you could eat from your garden everyday or anything, but maybe he might have a better appreciation if he seen it grow and knows it’s fresh? Plus it’s amazing how much fruit and vegetables at the grocery store have lost their flavor…

– Try making fish once or twice a week, I usually cook it in white wine to add flavor. 

– Soup is pretty easy to make, you just need a handheld mixer. Boil some vegetables in broth and mix. 

– I make quiche once a week either with veggies or seafood. I’ll make a salad to go with it with a olive oil and balsamic dressing

– You can try stuffing tomatoes, zucchinis, mushrooms with meat. At least it’s more balanced that just eating a hamburger. 

– Get a subscription to a cooking magazine. I find it helps me find inspiration to switch things up, so if it’s new my DH is more likely to try it and I’m not bored making the same thing. 

At this point if he doesn’t go a long with it, at least you are eating right for yourself!


Post # 29
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What about getting him to have his cholesterol/triglycerides checked & overall physical with a blood pressure, etc. checked?

Post # 30
2889 posts
Sugar bee

My DH will always choose meat and pasta over veggies. It is a work in progress to get him to cook veggies in a meal but he is getting better. Som things that have worked for us include knowing wht veggies he likes and which he cannot stand and easing in. For example he loves mushrooms and has no problem adding them to  mel but green peppers are  no go. So I started doing things to incorporate veggies and meat. I made steak nd cheese sandwiches and cooked the mushroomss onions and peppers together than packed it all into the sandwich and melted cheese on top so i was hard to pic out. In the end he had some peppers sitting in his dish but ate most of them. The other day I worked from home, for dinner I used the wok and cleaned out the fridge which included the hated eggplant among a few other veggies, I cooked htem all together then added tomato sauce and when he got home from work I told him dinner was ready but it included eggplant (I don’t hide veggies per se), he melted some cheese on top and proceeded to eat a large bowl of veggies. He is starting to get it and I have lso gotten more stubborn about cooking healthy and telling him he needs to eat healthy. He also had the metabolism to eat crap through his late 20s but now that he is 31, he started to gain wome weight and I think his pnts getting tighter is a wake up that diet and exercise is important.

Post # 31
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We watched HBO’s “Weight of the Nation” documentary, and it scared some health-sense into him. He’s drinking less beer, watching his portions better, and he lost weight. Yeah, cable!!

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