(Closed) Husband reluctant to discuss TTC…advice?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
11697 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Loupyloo:  my FH is like this.  He takes a while to process big information.  When I had to come off hormonal birth control 2 years ago for health reasons he was great, and it’s been condoms ever since (which I hate but we deal with it).  We’ve discussed having a family post wedding, the official TTC ‘date’ is up in the air.  We’re kind of planning on the chance it method (losing the condom and seeing what happens) but we’re not really sure yet.  I have a feeling with us, it’s probably going to be a little bit of winging it.  I might just stop buying condoms after the wedding…not sure yet.

In your case, perhaps have some condoms on hand for when you’re not on the pill.  I would mention it again as you get closer to the date.  Casually suggest, ‘I guess we should pick up some condoms, my pills run out next month’ prod him that way perhaps?  Men can be funny when it comes to these things.

Post # 4
2395 posts
Buzzing bee

@MsGinkgo:  +1 


Just get some condoms and have them handy for when the time comes.


He’s a big boy, and he knows unprotected sex can result in pregnancy.


I wouldn’t worry too much about having a plan in place, and I would drop the subject and not bring it up any further.


He may surprise you and not want the condoms … he may say “Let’s go for it.”


Just have them ready “in case.” 


Good luck!




Post # 5
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MsGinkgo:  +1 my Fiance took two months to deal with the change of not having to use condoms anymore after I got the implant (we used them when I was on the pill because I was scatter brained about remembering them)  

having a back up method seems easiest. That way you don’t have to pressure him into a talk he’s not ready for yet and things can happen gradually 🙂 

Post # 7
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Loupyloo:  I agree with others. As long as your clear about the fact that you are not taking the pill anymore, you should leave it up to him for a while. While it’s nice to have a plan, TTC doesn’t always go as planned anyway it might be nice to start off slowly.

Post # 8
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My Darling Husband is often absorbed with work and it’s tough to discuss things like this.  But this is important.  What I do is I’ll say to him, “look, I know you’re preoccupied and this obviously isn’t a good time.  But we need to figure this out and I want us to both understand the other’s point of view and be on the same page.  So can we please carve out time to discuss this at _____ (pick a day and time)?”  Usually if I’m that dramatic about it, he’ll realize it’s important and that he can’t just put it in the back of his mind.  Gives him time to gather his thoughts too, and then we can talk things through and have a more productive discussion.  So maybe try that?

Post # 9
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

you don’t need a plan 🙂 enjoy just making it happen!

Post # 10
6699 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015

@Loupyloo:  It helped me to talk to Darling Husband about when he wanted to have babies. We talked about this before the wedding, then about a year into it because we both knew that we wanted to wait a few years. It really helps to bring the topic without putting too much pressure. I noticed that the more we talked about it, the more it became part of our coversation and not as foreign. Best of luck!

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