Husband said he didn't care!

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
4209 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Haha I totally get this! I have just started using and selling a new (to me) makeup line, and there’s always some start up costs. At first I was just going to sign up as a distributor to get the discount & stock up. But once I got the product & loved it and my friends loved it, I decided to buy some extras to sell at parties. I felt a bit cringey about spending a few hundred dollars on makeup when we’re saving for a wedding and thought FI might object. But he’s more on board than I am! haha. He definitely doesnt run purchases by me but I was so broke for so long that I’m used to having to scrimp so spending money on unnecessary things is still a little unnerving to me haha. 

I think he encourages my spending because I’m usually such a cheap-ass and it makes him feel like he can be more spendy when I am lol. Keep in mind, our finances are totally separate so us spending doesnt even affect the other haha.

Post # 17
Member
9072 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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kmbumbee190618 :  we have savings set up as a bill so he’s free to use his play money as he wants, but he uses it all every week whereas I almost always have leftovers that I throw into my own savings account. We get the same $200/week and I’m in charge of groceries within that and he’s in charge of date night which doesn’t even happen every week so I don’t know how I have leftovers and he doesn’t!

Post # 18
Member
15147 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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kmbumbee190618 :  Yea, we’re both super savers so i was pretty surprised he was encouraging me.  But he knows I must *really* want something to finally splurge on it so he doesnt care when I do, andn same for him… like I’ve been saying I want a new TV for maybe 2 years now, but we just dont need one.  I hear you on the jeans, my lmit is like 50-60, rarely more.  But if I tooooottaaallly loved it, I think I coud max out at $100… but I also wear my jeans to death… I’ve had pairs I wore for 10 years so if you break it out, $10/year is totally worth it!

Post # 19
Member
10599 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I make my own money. He gets zero opinion on what I buy – joking or not. Same goes for him. We don’t even have joint checking accounts. 

Post # 20
Member
2518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Some people on here take things way too seriously…

I have several spendy habits but my husband never asks how much they cost, I think because he knows he might be shocked lol. But he also drops $300 on shoes and thinks that’s a good deal sooooo… 

I know he doesn’t understand spending $1500 on hair extensions but he knows I work hard and can spend “my” money as I please 🙂 (we haven’t combined our bank accounts yet)

Post # 21
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

FH and I are in the process of budgeting and tackling our debt. So that means we don’t really spend on anything unless it’s been addressed in the monthly budget. We also have a joint account.

A week after we got engaged, I decided to splurge on cupcakes to celebrate our “1 week anniversary.” Turns out, FH had the exact same idea. 😂

Post # 23
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

zzar45 :  I think there’s a limit to that. If the purchase is outside your budget, or would mean sacrificing something, you absolutely need to talk to your partner about it. I mean, the attitude of “I do what I want partner be damned” isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Post # 24
Member
5747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

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sbl99 :  That is absolutely not what I said at all, I said if my husband gave me crap every time I would be out. 

Big purchase and financial goals should be done as a team but each spouse should have the discretion to spend when they feel it is necessary. The problem here, to me, is OP implied she was questioned every time.  

Post # 26
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are aggressively paying down debt and saving for a house so anytime a package arrives at our door, we both kinda good-naturedly side-eye each other and wonder what the item is. Like, I know we don’t “need” anything right now, so what “fun” item did you buy? We also have completely separate finances but we pay bills together and have bi-monthly budget/household finance meetings. 

My latest splurge was on Wednesday. I bought a new plant and it was quite expensive. Not only was it expensive, but I’ve been buying a lot of plants lately (my goal is to turn our house into a jungle; he prefers a more minimalist plant look). He just looked at it and said “that’s pretty”. I was all prepared to go into an explanation of how this is a rare plant and it’s been on my want-list for months, and the little cutting I bought last month is taking forever to grow, and it was a really good price for the size, and I wanted to purchase it in-person not online, etc.  

Post # 28
Member
9072 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Miss-Mauverick :  
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kmbumbee190618 :  I’m so the husband in your scenarios lol. DH talks about wanting to work on buying a second home, replacing our car in a year, and doing some more renovations, changing careers, and I can’t listen to that talk AND watch him buy stupid useless shit. Yes we still save a decent amount, but we could easily save a lot more. I want all those things too which is why I don’t buy other stuff! It’s fine if to spend your money but it’s the disconnect between money spent now vs. having big goals that drives me up a wall. 

Post # 29
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t care either.  You essentially bought underwear which is a necessity.  You didn’t bring home a brand new Lexus with a red bow on top.

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