(Closed) Husband saying he prefers a certain gender .. Would this upset you?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s pretty common for men to have a preference towards boys. They can relate to boys. They were boys once.

He says he prefers a boy, but chances are he’s going to fall head over heels in love with whatever you guys end up having.

I wouldn’t let it bother you. He wants a healthy baby just as much as you do (Who doesn’t?) and while he might be able to identify with a boy better, he’s going to love it regardless of it being a boy or a girl.

Post # 4
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Sanola831:  haha your being sensitive. It’s totally okay though(: I think your DH wants a healthy baby but secretly hopes for a boy. Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t love a little girl!(:

Post # 5
380 posts
Helper bee

@Sanola831:  I could be wrong about this but I think there’s a part of EVERY man that wants to have a boy.  I think most women kind of want to have a daughter, so they can buy cute dresses. I’m sure your H would love a girl too.  But for example, my SO has said he “doesn’t want to say” what gender he would prefer because then if it was a different gender, he’d feel guilty.  But he’s pretty obvious abotu the fact that he wants a boy.  He keeps saying that he has “premonitions” that we’re going to have a girl and he doesn’t seem too thrilled–and I’m not even pregnant.  I think most men have a slight desire for a boy, but if it upsets you, tell him that you want him to just prioritize the baby’s health, and explain to him how you feel.  I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset you.

Post # 6
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This would not upset me.  I would definitely want a boy too.

Post # 7
441 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s natural for people to want one gender over another, especially for fathers to want sons and for mothers to want daughters. I don’t think it means that your husband doesn’t want a healthy baby or that he will be devastated if it’s a girl. Now, if he were to say that he’d want to give the baby up for adoption if it were a girl, then I’d be upset!

Post # 8
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am only 5 weeks and I have a preference. Lots of people do and there are often polls on here asking which sex they prefer.

My husband has said he prefers a girl if he could choose.

But dont worry I am sure your DH will love whatever baby gender you have. Just because he has a preference doesnt mean he doesnt want another gender.

I think your being oversensitive.

Post # 9
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My husband said the same thing until we found out at 27 weeks that it was a boy… it didn’t bother me a bit.  I actually wanted a boy too but didn’t really discuss it because I didn’t want us to be disappointed if it wasn’t. 

I wouldn’t let it upset you.  🙂

Post # 10
5949 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

I wouldn’t let it bother me….I know the standard answer to the gender question is:

“I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy.”

Which has always perplexed me, because I don’t get how those are related…I suppose its a good way to highlight that you don’t care what you get, just happy to be having a baby…which is a great place to be.

But some people do have a preference, my SIL and brother were both VERY vocal about wanting a boy, and I didn’t see any problem with that, if my nephew turned out to be a girl, we wouldn’t have loved him any less, and I don’t think any of us would have said anything other than, “Better luck next time…” 

Because it is a crap shoot, but having a preference isn’t a bad thing, at least I don’t think so.

Post # 12
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah don’t let it get to you.  I’m sure he also  wishes it’s healthy, and if it is a girl, will love her the same.  Some people get  caught up in the “carrying on the name” crap.  If this is his worst flaw .. meh you’re pretty lucky :D.  I’m sure he will be fine if it’s a girl, and he will be a big sap.

Post # 13
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

completely understandable no one wants to “jinx” it by wishing for gender over health!!

Post # 14
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m nowhere near pregnant and Fiance has already made it clear that he wants boys. I think it’s a stereotypical thing for guys to want to have a son. It kind of bothered me because he painted it to look like boys are so easy and girls are terrible to deal with…um both sexes have their difficulties so that’s a crock. But I’m sure your husband will be happy regardless of if it’s a boy or a girl.

Post # 16
6033 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

You’re being sensitive. when I had my son, Fiance was open about how badly he wanted a son. I think its a given that a healthy baby is the desired result. But when asked about gender specifically I think its natural to have a slight, or not so slight preference. When people ask, and the answer is boygirl I don’t think they think that you care more about the gender than you do the health ya know?

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