- 2 months ago
- Wedding: June 2018
So background: Married for two years, I am 28 and Hubby is 36. Both in stable good jobs, we have a dog, homeowners
So before we got married, when we discussed the topic of having kids, we said one day in the future we would like them but not right now/soon, as we both love travelling and going out as a couple and enjoying our independence.
Then after we got married, we went through a bad patch and he said that part of the reason for the bad patch was that he now thinks he doesnt want to have children. When I asked why, he talked about how he liked his independence, that he doesnt think kids will make his life better, that he never envies those with kids and doesnt see himself living that lifestyle. I said well I still don’t want kids now but I still do for sure in the future
Anyway things got better, we were having a good time as a couple, I was happy, and then I thought I should bring it up again to see if any change of heart but seems not.
Im not sure what to do, I feel like these are my options:
A) stay in the marriage as I do love him & have made a committment to him- and hope things could change, however I may have to come to terms with not having a child & this could cause resentment. The downside to this is say if in 10 yrs time when Im 38 & no kids, he decides to get a divorce, Id be left single and childless with little hope of having any children
B) Divorce him, however whos to say I will meet someone I love as much as him, & what if I re-marry & it turns out I cant get pregnant or the guy is infertile?
I know I’m 28 so time is on my side but also meeting someone new takes time, and getting married, having kids etc
I dont know how worth it is spending time on this marriage and hoping for the best?
I am super sad about all this because we did discuss it before marriage, & he knows a family is what I want. I know people change but I wish it wasnt happening to me
NB. He is not a massive talker so dont think he would be willing to do therapy