Post # 61
It sounds like you are having a very tough time. It seems that your biggest issue is that you have fallen prey to the sunk cost fallacy. Yes, you’ve spent 10 years with him (2 of which have been very unhappy), but you know what’s worse than ending a 10 year relationship? Ending a 20 year relationship.
One great thing about your husband is that he has been completely honest with you about the kid issue. I truly would believe him on this. Don’t delude yourself that he’s going to change his mind on this.
Post # 62
You’re romanticizing a part time weekend relationship, not the one you had at the end. Do you really want a partner who is not only a cheater and liar but has proven to be mentally unequipped to face his own shortcomings with a “move on, nothing to see here” attitude? How many other ways could this play out if you stay?
Even if the man had never cheated there would be no forgiving someone who pulled a bait and switch regarding kids.
You’re young and have a long life ahead of you. “Love” isn’t enough and doesn’t last long without communication and integrity. Everyone has a history. That doesn’t mean you have to live in it.
Post # 63
Do you have no self respect? This is not a rhetorical question. How can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing that you are clutching desperately at someone who does not care whether you stay or go? i’m not trying to make you feel bad. His behavior is not a reflection of you. On the contrary, I am saying you deserve better. He might have been ok for 8 years (I doubt it, I strongly suspect it was a facade the whole time, but at any rate…) but he is now a limp-dick cheating liar who told you to your face that he doesn’t are if you leave. Accept reality. He is an asshole and your choice is leave now with your head held high, or cling to this turd until he leaves you. And how is that going to feel?