Husband says he doesn't want children

posted 11 months ago in Married Life
Post # 91
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

OP don’t listen to the contentious online strangers. Good for you for being happy, even if it’s a rebound. Even if it’s not. 

I met my now fiance a week before my ex and i had split. I met him while out with my then boyfriend. Im sure people thought all sorts of things about it. Oh well. Years later we are happily engaged, expecting and own a home together. Point is, you’ll be ok and everyone’s negative opinions can stink up the room all they want, but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Xx

Post # 92
Member
14179 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@northwinds:  I really don’t think that excuses someone from wasting years of someone else’s life. If anything this is an argument for not dating or marrying an immature, unestablished person who doesn’t really know what he wants and doesn’t have the life experience to responsibly make this kind of commitment in the first place. 

Post # 95
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

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@togetherforever18:  exactly!! Life happens. I’m glad you have learned more about yourself in the process! That is always a good thing. And you are correct, nobody knows because they are not wearing your shoes!

Post # 96
Member
3158 posts
Sugar bee

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@togetherforever18:  That all sounds good bee! It’s definitely smart to talk about the hypothetical of an “oops” pregnancy when you’re sexually active with someone, just as long as the convo is strictly about how you’d handle the hypothetical vs getting excited about this hypothetical and kinda sorta trying to make it happen now. 

I met my husband about 2 months after I officially had broken up with my long term ex. However it had been over a year since our initial “breakup,” and I was completely checked out for those last 8-9 months or so that we were still in contact and basically in relationship limbo. I’d also moved to a new state so I was living far away from my ex through that time and only seeing him rarely. So by the time I met my husband I had long since mourned the old relationship and had “felt” single for quite awhile. I’d also dated a few other people casually in that time. In sum I was very ready for a new, healthy relationship ! But still took it at a moderate pace with my husband so we let things develop organically. 

Post # 97
Member
757 posts
Busy bee

In my opinion it doesn’t really count as a rebound if your relationship has been slowly breaking apart for an extended period of time. 

My husband and I met when I was 1 month out of a (slowly breaking down) 2yr relationship and he was WEEKS out of a 6 yr on and off long distance relationship. Timing isn’t always perfect, and it’s important to take your time so your relationship has a solid foundation/isn’t just the honeymoon phase – but that’s the same for all relationships isn’t it? 

Post # 98
Member
5529 posts
Bee Keeper

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@togetherforever18:  This is a great story! Some women are afraid to leave bad partners because of their fear of being alone. I’m glad you were able to avoid that trap. Good luck!

Post # 99
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

Bee, congrats on your new relationship. I got out of a 6 yr relationship and then moved on less than 3 months later to my now fiance. We started living together around 8 months and have now been together for 5 yrs and our wedding is in July. I got a alot of flack about moving on too soon, but my previous relationship had been dying a slow death. Enjoy your life, ignore the naysayers. 

Post # 100
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - Florida

So happy to see this. 

I moved on pretty quickly when I left my exhusband. I’m sure people talked about it. But my first marriage was over wayyy before we finally called it quits. It’s been 3 years and I’m happily married to the man I moved on with!

Post # 101
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Good luck OP. Don’t listen to the naysayers. There’s no rule that says you have to be broken up for x amount of time before you can be in a serious relationship again.

I met my now-husband while in the process of leaving a 3-year relationship. My husband was 22 to my 27 but we got together right after the breakup. You can imagine the warnings people gave me, due to his age as well as the rebound factor. 7 years later we are still very happy, now married with a kid.

Post # 102
Member
10721 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@lucyinsky:  

Not relevant to op or anything, but so nice to hear age differences where the woman is older. I was 29 to his 24 and we have been tnogether decades . Moved in together almost immediately too. Everyone gave us 6 months tops. 

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