Post # 91
OP don’t listen to the contentious online strangers. Good for you for being happy, even if it’s a rebound. Even if it’s not.
I met my now fiance a week before my ex and i had split. I met him while out with my then boyfriend. Im sure people thought all sorts of things about it. Oh well. Years later we are happily engaged, expecting and own a home together. Point is, you’ll be ok and everyone’s negative opinions can stink up the room all they want, but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Xx
Post # 92
I really don’t think that excuses someone from wasting years of someone else’s life. If anything this is an argument for not dating or marrying an immature, unestablished person who doesn’t really know what he wants and doesn’t have the life experience to responsibly make this kind of commitment in the first place.
Post # 93
Thanks guys- and don’t worry- I’m not planning on having a baby anytime soon!! I want to travel the world & have fun & develop my career so I’m on birth control & I feel like I’d want to wait a couple of years anyway to TTC.
It was just a conversation that popped up as we were chatting, and I think he said it to reassure me more than anything that if anything DID happen (as we all know that birth control is never 100% effective) then his feelings towards me are strong enough/his attitude towards having children is a positive one- he is more than aware of the issues my ex & I had so I think he’s hyper-aware of my ‘red flags’. So it was just out of a place of reassurance and love. Noone is planning no accidents!! Lol
And yes- I did discuss these children issues with my ex but time and time again, it was the same old discussion & it was getting clearer about what needed to happen.
I think I agree that I was emotionally checked out of that relationship, I couldn’t fully trust him (bearing in mind all the crap that happened started in 2018- it’s a long time y’all!)
As i said, i wasn’t planning on getting into a relationship at all.
I met my now boyfriend at a completely platonic old uni classmates catch up meal and we just completely hit it off. He wasn’t looking for anything either but something really clicked. And so I feel like you can’t put a timing on things.
BUT obviously going through what I have, my red flag sensors are all the way up so I think that if I got so much as a twinge of doubt I’d know know I’d have to do.
But I also don’t want to tar him with the same brush- so far, we’ve been really really good and here’s hoping it’s only up from here!!
Post # 94
That sounds so lovely. Timings can’t always be perfect, right? I know for sure many people will have their own opinions, but I think you can’t truly know what I’ve been through or felt unless you were me! And I feel like I know myself a lot better since going through the hard times.
Post # 95
exactly!! Life happens. I’m glad you have learned more about yourself in the process! That is always a good thing. And you are correct, nobody knows because they are not wearing your shoes!
Post # 96
That all sounds good bee! It’s definitely smart to talk about the hypothetical of an “oops” pregnancy when you’re sexually active with someone, just as long as the convo is strictly about how you’d handle the hypothetical vs getting excited about this hypothetical and kinda sorta trying to make it happen now.
I met my husband about 2 months after I officially had broken up with my long term ex. However it had been over a year since our initial “breakup,” and I was completely checked out for those last 8-9 months or so that we were still in contact and basically in relationship limbo. I’d also moved to a new state so I was living far away from my ex through that time and only seeing him rarely. So by the time I met my husband I had long since mourned the old relationship and had “felt” single for quite awhile. I’d also dated a few other people casually in that time. In sum I was very ready for a new, healthy relationship ! But still took it at a moderate pace with my husband so we let things develop organically.
Post # 97
In my opinion it doesn’t really count as a rebound if your relationship has been slowly breaking apart for an extended period of time.
My husband and I met when I was 1 month out of a (slowly breaking down) 2yr relationship and he was WEEKS out of a 6 yr on and off long distance relationship. Timing isn’t always perfect, and it’s important to take your time so your relationship has a solid foundation/isn’t just the honeymoon phase – but that’s the same for all relationships isn’t it?
Post # 98
This is a great story! Some women are afraid to leave bad partners because of their fear of being alone. I’m glad you were able to avoid that trap. Good luck!
Post # 99
Bee, congrats on your new relationship. I got out of a 6 yr relationship and then moved on less than 3 months later to my now fiance. We started living together around 8 months and have now been together for 5 yrs and our wedding is in July. I got a alot of flack about moving on too soon, but my previous relationship had been dying a slow death. Enjoy your life, ignore the naysayers.
Post # 100
- Wedding: January 2021 - Florida
So happy to see this.
I moved on pretty quickly when I left my exhusband. I’m sure people talked about it. But my first marriage was over wayyy before we finally called it quits. It’s been 3 years and I’m happily married to the man I moved on with!
Post # 101
Good luck OP. Don’t listen to the naysayers. There’s no rule that says you have to be broken up for x amount of time before you can be in a serious relationship again.
I met my now-husband while in the process of leaving a 3-year relationship. My husband was 22 to my 27 but we got together right after the breakup. You can imagine the warnings people gave me, due to his age as well as the rebound factor. 7 years later we are still very happy, now married with a kid.
Post # 102
Not relevant to op or anything, but so nice to hear age differences where the woman is older. I was 29 to his 24 and we have been tnogether decades . Moved in together almost immediately too. Everyone gave us 6 months tops.