Husband, sister, 3some update.

posted 12 months ago in Relationships
Post # 91
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee

VintageGirl1020 :  I don’t know. I think there’s an unhealthy aspect of wishing someone ill and habouring this intense of an anger towards someone or a situation. 

OP needs to put herself first, and cut ties with all these toxic people, definitely. And then put it behind her. Forgive but never forget. 

Wishing ill on an unborn child isn’t going to accomplish anything. The child is a victim just as much as OP. 

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Post # 92
Member
3401 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Go get your new start, Bee. I know you are devastated right now, but it WILL get better. And I know you’re feeling alone, but you’ve got every single one of us behind you. You’re making the right decision. 

Post # 93
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

MsPlucky : I think you misjudged my comment. I just hope the best for OP and wish her well. She should be getting a lawyer and protecting her assets and keeping her house. It’s not being filled with hate/anger it’s actually what should be rightfully OP’s. 

Post # 94
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee

VintageGirl1020 :  I agree she should definitely be getting everything and then some in the divorce. He should be left with nothing from their life together. 

My response was in your comment that the sister should have a miscarriage. OP doesn’t need to concern herself with any of that. What’s done is done. The baby living or dying doesn’t change the situation at all for OP (I would hope). So having any thoughts or ill will towards the sister and hoping she suffers only further involves OP in the situation. She needs no more emotion, needs to invest no more energy – whether positive or negative – and move on. 

Divorce, take him to the cleaners, be smart, collected and calculated, but invest no more energy. 

Post # 95
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

Your mother seems more inclined to do what’s easy instead of what’s right. Sadly, I can see how that would encourage your sister’s behavior.

Post # 96
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

MsPlucky :  I never said her sister should have a miscarriage. I said if karma was real things would go south for her sister , yeah worst case something like that would happen. Just because I said karma exist doesn’t mean I’m wishing people unwell or death. I’m sorry you took it that way though I do sincerely apologize. 

Post # 97
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

worriedgal :  Two things you should do ASAP. go see a divorce lawyer and get everything in order. Your first priority is to protect yourself. Their child is PROOF of the infidelity so that should work just fine as proof. Don’t tell anyone you are doing that. Not even your mother. Secure your finances. If you have a joint account with him, make sure you take out enough money to take care of yourself. Change the locks on your house/apartment and have his stuff sent to your sisters house. But make sure you talk to your lawyer about these steps before you do them of course. 

Cut off all contact with your sister and husband. Only communicate with them through your lawyer. You don’t want to say ANYTHING to them via text or email that they could at all use against you. SO just don’t communicate with them at all. Immediately go on your social media accounts and block your sister and husband and all their friends and relatives. Delete your social media accounts completely or at least deactivate them. If you have anything like email etc that you think your husand might have the passwords to, go change those passwords asap. Do not discuss anything with your mother or family. You can’t risk them knowing what your moves are. Get yourself a therapist asap. You want to be as mentally healthy and strong as you possibly can in this. Make sure you have a therapist to talk to since your family can’t be there for you. 

We are all here supporting you, you can get through this!! Please keep us updated. 

Post # 98
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

OP please listen to ladyjane123. This is the best advice.

Post # 99
Member
3105 posts
Sugar bee

Also, change your direct deposit immediately to a new bank account at a bank where you have no joint accounts with your husband.

Change ALL your online passwords  regardless of whether your STBX has the password. This is crucial. Also highly recommend LastPass.

Get a new account, cell phone (you can buy a cheap used one online if $ is an issue) and phone number. Don’t give that number to anybody connected to your STBX or sister. He could have tracking or keyboard logging software on your phone. Cheaters often do that to keep track of their spouses. 

Put an alert on your credit so nobody can take out credit in your name.

Change your beneficiaries on any insurance policies.

Work with your attorney to make sure he has no rights re your medical treatment if you were to fall ill or get in an accident.

Post # 100
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Oh Bee, my heart breaks for you. That is such utter and complete bullsh*t and your sister can rot in hell forever along with your soon to be exhusband. How dare she betray you like that? Of course she will blame her mess of a life on you, what utter garbage of a human being. 

As others have said, this is a new opportunity for you to get your just desserts, sue sue sue the pants off your ex-husband and grab your life by the balls. There is nothing written that says you have to be unhappy. I hope you find the most happiness bursting out of you like rockets on the 4th, that wipe those two mother f*ckers off the face of the planet- Like BLOW! Your crazy sh*t doesn’t touch me!

Good luck Bee, it can only go up from here…

Post # 101
Member
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP, I would like to emphasize one thing:

YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG.

Please read and re-read this as needed. Their actions are based purely on their own selfish, irrevocably heartless, and despicable motivations, and have NOTHING to do with you. Their fuckups are not a reflection on you. Your sister is a toxic, vindictive bitch. Your (soon to be ex) husband is a spineless, weak, d-bag who clearly thinks with his dick. I’m sorry that you’ve been associated with such classless scum. I hope you stand tall, hold your head high, and walk away from them without a backward glance. They don’t deserve you, and you deserve friends/family who care about you and love you. I sincerely wish you strength, peace, and a fresh start far, far away from their trainwreck of a life. 

Post # 102
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Oh my gosh, Bee! First, you have done NOTHING wrong. Second, your sister and soon-to-be-ex are scum, and your mother isn’t much better. Cut them off, take the dude to the cleaners in the divorce, and start over. I’m pretty sure any of the Bees on this thread would be happy to meet up with you and take you out on the town, provide a shoulder to cry on, supply giant piles of ice cream, etc. If you’re in the United States, come to Tennessee, and I’ll do that myself! 

Post # 103
Member
9662 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Honestly, I think you should sleep with his father and get knocked up with twins. But I’m slightly vengeful.

Post # 104
Member
9623 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

slomotion :  Or with his grandfather so the twins are also his uncles. 

Post # 105
Member
9662 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

amanda1988 :  Threesome with Dad and Grandpa. It’s the only way.

Then you could be like “How do you like your brother uncle, fucker?!” 

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