- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Right out of college, Darling Husband worked for our city’s Election Commission (mostly filing–old summer job) for a year or two, then got a job at a bank as a teller. He moved up to the “platform” side of the bank, but after 2-3 years doing that, he had a couple bad sales evaluations or something, and it became clear that if he stayed in that position, he would probably lose it. So he switched back to being a teller, and at that time we agreed that he would job search. However, school is about to start again, and a deadline we had set for him has passed, and he still has no clue what to do. He doesn’t know where to begin in a job search. He’s considering the IT field most strongly, and considering going back to school (Tennessee Tech or similar school) to get certifications. However, he’s never spoken to anyone in the field and doesn’t know what earnings potential he’d have with these certifications, or if they’re even necessary for a job. We’re both frustrated. His major was history and he feels like he has no marketable skills. So far this year he’s tried and failed to get jobs at Dell and in financial aid at TN Tech (would have been a sweet deal with free classes!). So far in his career he has done nothing by planning and everything by falling into something that was “good enough for now.” He also talks a lot about entrepreneurship and ideas he has, but he has no clue how to get started with that either. But even if he does start a business, he needs a better day job, so that he can make money while it gets off the ground. He needs a confidence infusion and a first step.
As for me, I’m entering my 3rd year as a high school English teacher and just earned my second Masters. I just turned 27, and want to have a baby before I’m 30, so David really has very little time to obtain and establish himself in a job that will give him a serious immediate raise and the potential to make enough to replace my income eventually. We own a house here in Nashville.
We have had a couple fights/hard conversations these past few days. He still hasn’t signed up for any classes. The slightest things have kept him from it. Like ambiguous application materials. I’m kind of angry, really. We agreed he would start classes in the fall. I explained to him about me turning 30 in 3 years and that means we’ll be conceiving in 2, and he won’t feel comfortable with that if he’s not in a good job. His first response was that he “doesn’t know why 30 is the magic number.” I hate that I’m the only one of us taking the long view of things. I didn’t push him earlier because I thought he couldn’t take it, or that I’d go too far.
And I just heard from my mom who went to a family party and heard that 3 girls are pregnant. One cousin, a year older than me, pregnant with her 3rd. Another cousin a year younger than me, having her 1st. And a family friend a year older than me (who had fertility problems) having her first. So you can imagine how that feels.
Am I wrong to be a little upset? I feel like he has dropped the ball, while I’ve done my part.
Anybody have career advice for DH?