(Closed) Husband spends every single Saturday with his friends

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 107
558 posts
Busy bee

Think of things they can do, put up a cupboard for you, let them do DIY on the loft! You can use their skills 🙂 If they refuse, stagger back and say: I thought you were real men? How can you not like DIY?? 😉

You need to turn this around. If you act like the boss they’ll respect you and possibly stay away.

Is this going to continue your whole married life though? It’s not just about keeping him away from your zone, it is about the guy not living up to your needs.

The problem may lie with his brother. Your husband feels at home with him and maybe wants to show him a good time because he lives in a little flat nearby. So another option would be : you call the brother to invite him Saturday for a meal (and inform your man afterwards) and if your man says: what about the others? You say you are not cooking for ten people. Be firm.)

I suggest coming up with great suggestions in future. Go out of your way to fill up the week-end with him. He may be a very active-minded guy who thinks he has to be having fun all the time. Maybe he reads about people’s exciting (fake) lives on Facebook or Twitter and he wants a slice of that. If you start surprising him with cool things to do, you might get him back more and enjoy hanging out, rather than this becoming a tug of war with him in the middle (probably how he likes it) between you and the friends, where you are made to look like the spoilsport if you don’t let him have his own way.

So start surprising him. Look up cool things to do and occasionally include the brother to keep your husband at bay.

If you ever want to include the friends (I suggest rarely) then suggest bowling or a restaurant, but each time tell them to bring their girlfriends. If they don’t have one, this will show them up a bit. The point is, maybe they won’t have girlfriends because these wouldn’t put up with them. Tell your husband this if he annoys you.

I mean I doubt these other guys are married? If they have their eye on someone, they might invite them to the bowling event or restaurant event.. and in time these girls will take care of their future week-ends and make it manageable 🙂

Make sure you book things so it sounds finalised, say things like: do you want me to add your name to the list? It’s going to be great fun, so-and-so’s coming etc.

Post # 108
910 posts
Busy bee

I don’t get why some women put up with this crap. It’s pretty simple. You say no. If he gives a shit about your marriage he’ll spend Saturday with you and plan his mates around your marriage, not in the middle of it. He sounds like a selfish douchebag. I would not have kids with this guy. ‘Honey the baby’s crying.’ ‘Oh just keep it in the loft til I’m finished my game.’

Post # 110
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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sherryberry:  Hooray, glad to hear things are working out!

Post # 111
10991 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m also irritated for you, OP.  This is incredibly childish behavior.  I’m afraid you’ll end up having to deal with it as such.  Though I would certainly start out with a serious convo with dh.

I wouldn’t be able to stand what you go through every Saturday.  I’m not sure Amnesty International doesn’t have a rule against it.

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