Post # 1
Hi everyone! I need your opinion on something that’s really bothering me. My husband follows my friend on instagram. So I just saw today that he has liked a picture of her from march. She’s married with a kid.. and posts quite often with her family. But he chose to like a super old picture of her where she’s posing alone. Just the fact that he was stalking her profile and went that deep and chose to actually like such an old picture, making it quite clear to her also that he was insta stalking her makes me feel really uneasy. I asked him about it and he was like ‘so? She liked my pic so i liked hers’ He never likes any pictures ever.. very rarely likes my pics or his friends. Why does he feel such a need to like her picture! Am I overreacting?
Post # 2
Yeah, this feels like a way over the top reaction. It’s just a picture. Has he given you other reasons not to trust him?
Post # 3
I was about to say it’s probably nothing, then I looked at your previous thread about your husband and changed my mind. He has a history of cheating and shady behavior. So yeah, I would be side eyeing this too.
On a related note, are you ok in this relationship? It can’t be easy having these deep-seated doubts and feeling like you have to read into everything.
Post # 4
This is a major overreaction. I looked at your old posts and saw that your husband cheated on his first wife, so I see why you’re paranoid. However, scrutinizing his every move is going to make you crazy and hurt your relationship. You either trust him or you don’t, and if you don’t, then maybe you should re-evaluate the marriage.
Post # 5
Yes, if this is truly the only thing that’s going on, it’s an overreaction. But if this is a symptom of a different problem – you have reason to suspect he is cheating on you or interested in this friend – then perhaps not. But from the way the story is told now, yes, definitely an overreaction.
Post # 6
tasha16 : My opinion may be unpopular, but no, I don’t think you are overreacting and you should trust your intuition.
Post # 7
How are you ‘just happening’ to see what he does/doesn’t like on social media? It sounds like you feel you have to check up on him/ keep tabs on him. I don’t recall your previous thread off-hand, but if your husband has a history of cheating/ inappropriate behaviour, this is the core problem- because I don’t think most of us would notice or care that our partners liked some pic of a friend. It sounds like there are deep-seated trust issues going on here.
Post # 8
I don’t think you’re wrong to raise an eyebrow to behavior from your Fiance that deviates in a big way from the norm.
Fiance is pretty active on social media, and he frequently likes one of my friend’s pictures – because she’s married, and we hang out with the couple a lot, and he considers them HIS friends, too.
However, if we DIDN’T hang out a lot, and he WASN’T active on social media, and he all of a sudden went and liked one very old picture of her from when she was single, I’d think it was very odd.
I would never go on her husband’s social media and wade back to old, single pictures and start liking. I would personally feel like that would be overstepping a boundary. And just plain weird.
I DO think it’s an overreaction to frame this as “stalking.” Liking one picture from a long time ago is not “stalking.” Another mutual friend may have commented on or liked that picture, causing it to show up in his feed, and he casually liked it and kept scrolling.
In your shoes, I’d probably ask about it. Fiance and like to keep our relationship as open and honest as possible, even when it comes to my sometimes paranoid thinking and his sometimes insecure thinking.
Post # 9
I think you’re overreacting. One of the first things I do when I make online friends is scroll throug ALL of their pictures, no matter how old for curiosity’s sake. Don’t you scroll through other people’s old photos? Am I abnormal?
I know some people treat the liking of pictures as an online flirtation. Personally I think that if anybody is using that as a way to flirt (in the absence of other messaging), their seduction skills are way juvenile.
Having cheated once before, I don’t believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater.” If he were “twice a cheater,” THEN maybe there is reason to be paranoid.
Post # 10
i think your over reacting, i too like to scroll through peoples insta feeds, and even if the picture is semi old i have no issue still liking the photo. People do the same thing to my insta, and i never think anything of it.
Post # 11
So you are stalking your husbands social media activity?
For the average person, liking things from several months ago isn’t a big deal. Sometimes you scroll back to see some history or you’re bored or whatever. I also like things accidentally as I scroll. I would have zero problem if my SO did this. I also probably wouldn’t notice because I’m too busy living my life to monitor my SO’s internet usage like he’s my child and I trust him.
But based on your posting history you went in eyes wide open on this one and married someone even though you clearly dont trust him. So, welcome to your life. You chose it. Either accept that you live a life of snooping and questioning, get yourself some therapy to deal with your trust issues, or make the decision to leave and decide you don’t want to be with someone you can’t trust. But asking internet strangers to either validate you or alleviate your concerns when you picked this is going to get old really fast. For everyone.
If you’re going to continue in the relationship and be the wife who monitors and questions every interaction he has with the opposite sex, you need to come up with a better coping mechanism and a plan to actually communicate with your husband about this.
Post # 12
I think he may have been looking at his pictures and whether it was intentional that he liked the photo or not, if someone did that to me with an old photo I’d think it was really weird. I don’t think it’s worth mentioning though.
Post # 13
tiffanybruiser : I know its just liking a photo amd normally its not a big deal but I can’t help but see this as a way of communication. Like if you dont like anyone’s pictures why would you make an effort now.. I’m ok with men looking at other women’s profiles but dont make it known to them. I don’t know maybe I am losing my mind.
Thats so nice if you to ask! Im honestly not in a good place right now. Im just to confused and overwhelmed with my feelings. I know I don’t personally know anyone here but I dont have a support group or anyone I can talk to openely without being judged. I just need an unbiased opinion so I post here, and from what I’ve read from other threads, people here give sane advise most of the time. Anyways thanks for listening and taking out time to reply.
Post # 14
beesaredyingatanalarmingrate : Ok So this is bit of an overshare, but he talks about a few of my friends during sex. He likes to talk dirty and these few friends are the main features. I thought its just a kink, and didnt think much of it and Ive spoken to him too about the boundries in our relationship. But this seems too intentional. Again I know this seems really juvenile, but I see this as hime trying to communicate with her or like get her attention.
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Wait, he talks about your friends while you two are having sex as part of his dirty talk???