- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Hi Bees —
Desperate for some advice here. First off, let me start back-tracking for a bit. My fiance proposed to me in Hawaii back in 2010 for my birthday. So, Hawaii will always have a special place in our hearts. When we started planning our wedding last year, our first thought was to have a destination wedding, in where else.. Hawaii. But as we thought about it, given that we already have children that are already in school (I have two from a previous marriage, he has one. Ages are 16, 15 and 9), which meant we’d have to travel and have our wedding during the summer (when airfare are sky high), we figured we might as well stay local and invite more of our friends and family. (If we had in Hawaii, not a lot of people will be able to come due to financial constraints, which made me a bit sad because not a lot of special people will be able to share the day with us).
Ok, fast forwrad to today. We’ve already booked a venue (set date is Oct 26), booked the photographer (already took our esesssion), and caterer. We were interviewing our florists this past weekend. And then my fiance drops a bomb on me…
“This wedding is going to end up costing us a lot ” (well DUH! — I forgot to mention, we’re paying for the wedding ourselves). Why don’t we just get married in Hawaii and get a vacation out of it??
I understand where he’s coming from. Because I’ve seen our “potential” total and to be honest, it a a lot of money! We don’t have a house yet (and in SF???? It’s so pricey!), and so he goes onto say what if we just put half of that money into a home and spend the other half on a Hawaii Wedding/Vacation? It will just be us, our closest family, and friends that are willing to travel.
I don’t mind getting married in Hawaii, but given that I’ve come as far this — Its hard for me now to let go of this picture I’ve been playing over and over in my head, about our wedding day. We’re getting married (supposedly) in this beautiful Japanese Tea Garden. I envision my bestest friends standing by the aisle waiting for me. I’ve imagined our reception, our photobooth for crying out loud! Now, all he wants is us on some spot on the beach for 20 minutes, and having a dinner for our guests at a luau or something and no formal reception.
It shouldn’t really matter where we get married, that’s true. As long as we’re together. I’m all for that, I guess I just need to get the image out of my head. Not to mention, trying to cancel all of our vendors (we get 1/3 of our depost back from the venue since we’re “probably” going to cancel within a year and 6 months before our date, we only paid a small deposit with the caterer, and we’re thinking of flying our photographer to Hawaii because we really love his work). All in all, financially might come out the same, but his agrument is… at least we’re in Hawaii….
What do I do? I love both ideas — but at this point I”m so confused. Has anyone changed their wedding plans (dramatically) in the midst of it all? I have 8-9 months! which may seem long, but if you’re planning a wedding, it really isn’t a lot of time!
Any advice or suggestions you may is greatly appreciated.. destination or no? Help!
PS. I’ve already bought my dress as well –not really fit for a beach wedding, but I think I can pull it off if push comes to shove. Just another expense crossed off my list when planning a local wedding.